I tried to make this as short as possible. Would truly appreciate it if someone could read through it, understand if not.
I met this girl overseas a few years ago and we met up a few times, spent a lot of time on the phone, met in her country, here or somewhere else. Over that time we developed what I though was a meaningful friendship. I cannot remember ever asking her for anything, ever, whereas I helped her out quite a few times.
The last year was very difficult. I won't go through the list but it was objectively hard, my last real friend passed away and he was the person I would casually talk to about things. Feeling lonely for the first time ever (I have spent a lot of time alone but not lonely) I emailed her about what was going on and initially she a gave supportive, if dry , reply.
Encouraged, I started talking about my feelings of depression, isolation and loneliness. Perhaps it was a bit long-winded but you have to understand that I have fielded emails such as those so many times from her and just felt that whats friends do. That is, after all, what my friends always did for me.
Her third reply was basically "I'm ending this, tired of your constant whining about life" it went on and in the context of what has been going on, I cannot think of a more cruel thing to say. Basically she was done talking to me, just like that. Not only was she unbothered by ending a fairly long-term friendship (albeit w benefits) , she was straight up mean. I assure you that I wasn't going on about my problems forever and in those same emails I was also talking about other things. I try to stay positive but there is grief in life and expressing that helps me , I have no intention of staying stuck here but part of moving forward is grieving.
No matter what I could not imagine being so cruel to a friend , SO or whatever she though of us as. This was the first time I leaned on her and I did so in an almost apologetic way. I am so exhausted of being ashamed to share emotions and angry that she would kick me when I'm down but mostly just hurt and confused.
How can anyone drop years of good will, loyalty , practical and emotional support in such a mean way? I wouldn't hold it against her if she didn't want to talk but why did she have to dig the knife in?
I know you would need more details to say exactly (would happily answer any questions just didn't want to make the post longer) but I have found a lot of general wisdom on here and would appreciate any speculation or input at all. I just want to understand how a human being can turn from sharing the most intimate parts of their life to saying things which I truly wouldn't say to people I despise.
If you can give me any insight to what might have or could fuel such a reaction, please advise, I'd truly appreciate it. Either way, thank you, I am finding a lot of insight on this sub and cannot find any other honest sources.
EDIT: Can't tell you how much I appreciate this. I can tell there is truth here because it is is difficult to hear, and takes both accounts into perspective. I don't have much to add, it was all just eye-opening, sad but also liberating. I will start reading up on the resources offered and hopefully change my perspective to meet reality instead of living in a Disney movie. I won't ever trust a woman on this level, to the extent that/if I do have any relationships with them I'll either play my part or keep it professional and look to male friends for support. It's kind of disorienting but I am incredibly grateful to this community.