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I couldn’t tell you how many times this has happened. One girl I was with said this when I was whispering. No joke.

October 31, 2019
432 upvotes

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Post Information
Title I couldn’t tell you how many times this has happened. One girl I was with said this when I was whispering. No joke.
Author thealleycatking
Upvotes 432
Comments 34
Date October 31, 2019 12:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MGTOW
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/i-couldnt-tell-you-how-many-times-this-has.391062
https://theredarchive.com/post/391062
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/dpmslp/i_couldnt_tell_you_how_many_times_this_has/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 162 points163 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

That's a classic narcissistic tactic.

[–]shun231197 points98 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

More like gaslighting and hamstering

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

More like gaslighting and hamstering

those are also narcissistic tactics.

[–]liberules43 points44 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

gaslighting and emotional terrorism. awareness of the techniques by people looking to take advantage of them is growing much faster than awarness of the techniques by everyone falling victim to them. shit, you have major media organizations running who gaslighting campaigns nowadays.

[–]wildfireboat12 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

How do you combat gaslighting, in general?

I think the only way is to ask pointed questions and keep asking until a pointed response is given. Is there a better way? I suppose "not playing the game" is another way...

[–]liberules21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

not playing the game is always an option.

my personal favorite is agree and amplify... where you agree with them and hyperbolically push that agreement off a cliff. whisper "oh i know i'm yelling, i could probably cause an avalanche in the himalayas yelling this loud... from here." it demonstrates you're not going to supplicate or even take ridiculous bullshit seriously.

[–]shun23112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ignore and evacuate if possible, don't waste your mental energy

[–]greyman04252 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You leave. Give them no melodrama, no emotion, nothing not even righteous anger. If you have kids it's more complicated. But at the end of the day you have to leave.

Gaslighters will always make things out to be your fault. If you call them out, they cal you out for being a liar and making things up. If you have evidence (video/audio), "why are you being so paranoid? Its disgusting, you are disgusting". She will enlist the help of family, friends, law enforcement.

Eventually you will crack and cave or crack and punch her. Neither is a good option.

[–]PipBoyTInkerer21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

spends five minutes calling you every name in the book to provoke you

finally lose your cool and call her a bitch

watch her completely change and say "what did you call me?" in faux-shock

This is in the playbook of every spoiled/broken thot out there

[–]paneracist8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

YES - ab-so-LUTE-ly this.

  • They can be (and often are) 100% completely, unarugably utterly dead wrong.

  • You reply with stoic, non-confrontational logic.

  • They escalate and start getting hysterical.

  • "Can we please continue this conversation in a calm, rational manner so we can best reach resolution?" All the 'conflict resolution' shit we were told to learn as kids to avoid emotional responses while still be sensitive of their feelings. Which isn't necessarily all wrong/bad but highlights how there is often never a winning strategy

  • Cue name-calling, playground taunts, assaults on your masculinity, etc. "faggot, incel, unfuckable, no wonder you father never loved you, any deep-seated fear/family dysfunction/core belief you were foolish enough to entrust with them to help open up and share that they throw back as an attack"

  • Can you please stop with all this puerile nonsense? It's making you come across as an insolent child and kind of a bitch, and I know that you are neither of those things. So let's deescalate before it gets unnecessarily out of hand.

OH MY LAWD YOU JUST CALLED ME A BITCH OHHH FUCK YOU, YOU TOXIC MASCULINE PIECE OF SHIT. DON'T YOU DARE MANSPLAIN MUH FEELING TO MUH

and this is, of course, ALL they tell their friends and family of course mispresented. "HE CALLED ME A BITCH" vs. "we were trying to resolve an issue, I overreacted, and he tried to get us back on track"... which of course lays the groundwork for 'my friends/family don't like you and don't think you're a good match for me'. You can reply:

a) well if you were more truthful and accurate in retelling our fights and told the whole story, they wouldn't feel that way (more fighting will occur, OF COURSE I WAS TRUTHFUL HOW DARE YOU)

b) if you didn't invent all these times of me 'abusing' you, they wouldn't think I'm some horribly toxic man (more fighting will occur, OF COURSE I DIDN'T PAINT YOU THAT WAY, WHY WOULD I TRY TO SABOTAGE MY RELATIONSHIP?!)

c) if you kept our private matters private, they wouldn't think that (more fighting will occur, OH SO NOW I CAN'T TALK TO MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY PROBLEMS? YOU WANT ME TO ISOLATE FROM ALL MY FRIENDS/FAMILY SO YOU CAN GASLIGHT AND MANIPULATE ME omfg just shut up)

d) okay, well now I legitimately feel uncomfortable going to family/friends event because I know that everything I say/do will be under intense scrutiny (more fighting will occur, OH SO YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THE THINGS AND PEOPLE WHO ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. I'M NOT A PRIORITY, I WAS FEELING IGNORED/UNAPPRECIATED THAT'S WHY I SOUGHT AND SUCKED 30 DICKS)

e) nothing (more fighting will occur, YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR US)

I'm still not 100% on AWALT on 100% of issues 100% of the time (give me time lol). But I am unequivocally intractable in saying, AWALT FOR ARGUMENTS. THEY CANNOT HANDLE RAPID, RATIONAL DISCOURSE. EVERYTHING IS AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE AIMED AT GETTING AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE.

[–]lilgrowbro2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

wow. very well said brother. i relate to 100% of this and it’s all laid out like a map. screenshot worthy to prevent being dragged back onto the plantation in the future.

[–]greyman04250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are good with words on the spot, then go for it. I caution escalating with a narcissist female you may win the confrontation but lose the war.

For those that are not, leave her, break all contact, rebuild your life and document everything.

[–]Valor_X53 points54 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because they always have victim mentality and zero accountability

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have known 3 women my whole life who were an exception to what you've said. 3 out of the thousands I've met. And no, none of them are related to me. All the women in my family are like that.

[–]candleman200648 points49 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I saw a girl arguing with a boy while speaking with a high tone then when she realized he was right she said “Hey what’s with your voice, we are having a normal conversation”

[–]mkultra337 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yiiiikess.. tone police incoming 🤡

[–]FanofLemmy42 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You want to see yelling?

Then they get wet.

[–]Magnum_443 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the correct answer.

[–]chadofnazareth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is true. Girl I'm dating admits that she likes to see me angry. She tries to get me riled up and yell at her because it turns her on.

[–]lethrowaway4me44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My cunt of a sister does this kind of shit all the time. I say something as calmly as possible and later on she'll reenact it as exaggeratedly as she can as though I was being the drama queen.

[–]wildfireboat32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One day, my then-girlfriend was doing something annoying to me and I asked her calmly:

"Do you recall that I've said before that I don't like when you do that?"

Her response: "Why did you just use the word "recall"? Like who even uses that word? You're making me feel like I am on trial."

She completely avoided admitting that she knew I did not like what she was doing and that I had voiced my boundary about it before. She tried changing the subject by picking on the way I was speaking instead of what I was actually saying.

That was the first time I realized I was being gaslighted... or gaslit... whatever the fuck it is called.

[–]LiveTheTruth32118 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Always have to to change the subject to divert any kind of responsibility.

[–]KneeDeepThought10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Once they know they're losing the argument they're do ANYTHING to change the topic. They're desperate to retake the high ground so they accuse you of yelling, bait you to calling them names, etc. Anything to deflect your points and wrap that victim blanket back around herself wherein she can do no wrong.

If you have to fight with a woman just treat her like a toddler throwing a tantrum and use similar responses.

[–]xdrunkagainx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to have a tactic for fights with my ex-wife that drove her up the wall. Whenever she started one where there was no win scenario to control me I would initiate Lose To Win. Basically I would do everything wrong that would make her angrier. I'd just tank the fight and double down on whatever she was mad at me for then act completely aloof as to why it was making her angry while laughing at her from a distance and making fun of her anger. As she got angrier I would use the same tactics against her why are you yelling honey? Then do things like be completely illogical during the argument. I'd take a slip of the tongue on her part and deliberately misunderstand it for hours. I'd make it into a game to see if I could make her quit.

[–]Malbek6049 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh shit she used to pull this all the time. One of these days I want to compile a list of their activated abilities and passives. You could make a MMORPG style template list of their powers and the levels they acquire them

[–]Jonger11502 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My mother does this to me all the time.

[–]ReyesCTM1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because apparently your deaf ass can’t hear

[–]mgtowshrugged20201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

100% of women have absolutely no idea what yelling actually is or sounds like. When I yell, there will be no mistaking it.

[–]Burbanx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU ME .

[–]eirikr140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

They’re shaken and stricken when they’re proved to be wrong.

[–]roflcopt0rz_returns-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not just women, a lot of soyboys and cucks do it too

Once they realize they can't actually beat your logic or arguments they gaslight by attacking anything else they can find. It's basically the equivalent of calling someone an incel virgin.

[–]greyman04251 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To soyboys and cuck gaslighters, the response is "fuck off you punk ass bitch". Prepare to throw down. Most will back down unless they way out number you.

Women you walk away from, they will escalate to stupid levels and any altercation will involve police and a lot of tears. Especially when dealing with white women,young women from professional middle class and upper class backgrounds are the worst.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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