~ archived since 2018 ~

I'm so tired of trying

October 30, 2017

I'm not an incel. I've hooked up with probably 30+ girls and have had a few relationships. The relationships have been relatively short, altogether unsatisfying and with crazy women I was attracted to but should have stayed away from.

Pretty much all of my hookups have been drunk one night stands, or short-term relationships spawning from those, and more recently girls I have met on Tinder. My relationships have also largely been predicated on drugs and alcohol. Finally this year I decided I was tired of fucking drunk sluts and have tried to go the more traditional route with dating.

No luck. So many girls flake. Drunk sluts are more reliable for booty calls. The girls who do show up are there because it's my turn to show them attention. And they don't put out. If I took them out to a bar and got drunk with them I'm sure they would put out, but I'm trying to do something different. Not worth it, I guess.

I know I could improve my "game" (I am working on it by virtue of dating more often). I could get more muscular (I lift every day). I could take them out to nicer places. I could make more friends and show them how popular I am.

But I'm just tired of it all. Tired of trying to impress women and hold their attention after I've impressed them. Tired of having to work extra hard to keep up with the guys more naturally blessed with game or looks or money. Tired of getting my hopes up for that second date then the woman canceling for some bullshit reason and never hearing from her again.

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Post Information
Title I'm so tired of trying
Author dontbedenied
Upvotes 20
Comments 54
Date October 30, 2017 9:59 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MGTOW
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/im-so-tired-of-trying.541859
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/79r36m/im_so_tired_of_trying/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]davebrain16 points17 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

30+ women. You're used goods ejected from the pussy carosel just like the hags who've hit the wall. Time to retire that STD riddled pecker.

[–]Keyhre2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah that is a pretty silly conclusion. You can successfully date and sleep around without your dick exploding. But women are manipulative and you could stuff up if they give you too much a false sense of security.

I'm tempted to go monk even though I could date, worth of it all and chance of woman being a real shit. They just do it differently depending on the age and what they are wanting.

[–]dontbedenied1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I don't really see the point of that guy's post either. Not only is it pretty easy to be STD-free, but guys who have a high n-count aren't discriminated against. If anything women prefer guys who have "experience". That is not the point of my post though.

[–]8017359 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Tired tired tired. Take a rest then, no?

[–]dontbedenied2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I like to think I'm making a little bit of progress. Rejections still sting for a hours or a day or so, but the more I am rejected the less I care. It's just getting old. And if I wasn't experiencing these rejections I'd be kicking myself for not putting myself out there. Maybe I'm getting to a point of not caring at all and just seeing women as nothing more than something to put my dick in that has no bearing on my self-worth.

[–]8017351 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup, the 'What next?' thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ding ding ding. Me too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

edit: mixed up replies to different posts

[–]throwaway1520388 points9 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Why do you want a woman? I mean really ask yourself why?

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

Loneliness. Companionship. I see other couples and I want that. I feel like (or used to feel like) I can have that but I just keep fucking up.

[–]throwaway1520384 points5 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

You mostly see the façade. Try being with a couple for a few days, you'll change your mind quickly.

You need a friend. It can be a female one. You don't need a relationship.

[–]dontbedenied2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. Sometimes I see couples that look like a Disney movie. Then I check out MGTOW or r/SurvivingInfidelity. It’s unrealistic to look at a couple for a moment and think they have the ideal relationship just because they look happy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I love that subreddit. The biggest thing I learned from /r/survivinginfidelity is that women aren't worth it. Just focus on getting your dick wet and then kick her out. Relationships are a facade: all women these days are disgusting whores. Enjoy your freedom. Do not fall for the facade.

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I do think there are decent women out there...but they're just not very physically attractive. Or the ones who are attractive are already married and with kids. Attractive, single women who are over the age of 25 or so are whores and/or lunatics.

I know it's hypocritical of me to shit on women for not being attractive enough for me, then whine about being rejected by women I'm not attractive enough for. I have to get over myself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Don't whine. Just understand what women are like and do your thing. There is no such thing like a decent woman in the modern world. Any woman who has had more than 5 partners by the age of 22 is a whore. The average these days is 20-25. I was surprised to find out a few days ago that there are some girls with 35+ at the age of 22. Can you fucking believe it? My plan is to keep things at ONS level. I can't imagine being "in love" anymore. Just lie about liking them, get in their pants and ghost.

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I was surprised to find out a few days ago that there are some girls with 35+ at the age of 22. Can you fucking believe it?

Yes, I can absolutely believe it. Both of my girlfriends in college had numbers like that. The first one I just forced myself to be ignorant about because I had only fucked two girls in my life and was starved for sex. The second one I rationalized that I had been with 20+ women myself, who am I to judge a girl who has been with a ton of guys?

At this point I believe that women who have fucked a ton of guys are fundamentally different from men who have fucked a ton of girls. Even after having been with 30+ women, I was still a romantic and looking for that Disney fairy tale relationship. But every woman I know who has been with that many guys is just an opportunistic slut, and you hear the story over and over again on MGTOW.

I also recognize it's not a double standard for me to prefer women who haven't fucked a ton of guys, since women prefer men with have "experience", and laugh at and avoid "inexperienced" men.

I can't imagine being "in love" anymore either, which I'm sure is for the best. Becoming desensitized is probably the best thing that could ever happen for my sex life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

True. I only focus on ONSes now. Don't even want a plate. Just want to fuck and never talk to her again.

I don't believe in the whole Disney fantasy. I hate women and only want them because they can take care of my needs. They are the manipulative scum of our society. Just get me off and get the fuck away from me.

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha... I really like that attitude

[–]throwaway1520381 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well around the time I was breaking up from a LTR I noticed (or people came forward) how other couples are fucked-up. They just aren't honest about it. A lot of times I felt like I'm giving in to my GF (I have mostly a lot of patience), but jesus, ... seeing the intimate part of some couples (we went on vacations together, 5 couples), fuck. I felt like I had enormous balls compared to others lol.

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And yeah, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a close friendship. I had plenty of them in college then I turned into a hermit more or less. I’m still trying to figure out how to be intimate with people.

[–]NietzscheExplosion5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

By All means keep trying, lift and hold frame BRO!

[–]dontbedenied2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ha...I will say that lifting has become my favorite hobby and is a great stress reliever. One of my insecurities in life has always been being a skinny guy, it feels good to do something about that.

[–]Keyhre2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yep! I've had a fair chunk of girls and the easy ones are well.... easy. I thought I wanted love and a traditional relationship and marriage eventually. But honestly there's little to no hope, and I'm not gonna bother anymore after so many shit relationships (well they can be good until I realize I sacrificed so much that I care about, and she can't hide she's a bitch after a handful of months lol).

If they are already work to live with, and just need to push buttons out of boredom, I'd rather have 'nice' time with a girl sometimes. No attachments and complex problems and keep learning my hobbies, working on my projects and career.

It was a hard red pill to swallow, no unconstrained love. But the protection is 10000% worth it, and I can live a much more stress free life and do things for me :)

[–]dontbedenied1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the advice. Sounds pretty much just like me. It wasn't until the last year or so that I realized that I wanted "a traditional relationship and marriage". It's almost like I subconsciously felt like I "hit the wall" myself. I got into an LTR that had a million red flags and stuck around for all the wrong reasons.

It wasn't until after that relationship imploded that I started checking out TRP (and eventually MGTOW) and realizing that traditional relationships and marriage and kids might not be for me. Very hard red pill to swallow, no doubt, but the best life lesson I have ever received, considering how much power I have given women over me.

If those things ever do happen it will be because I am so emotionally unattached to the woman that virtually nothing she says or does affects me.

[–]betternotsettle1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's funny, I don't know how old OP is (sounds pretty young - 20s-ish)...but I have had a similar experience in life.

I guess the major difference would be that I am 38, and I could care less if I ever kiss a woman again, let alone try to crawl over 500 yards of broken glass for the chance to sniff pussy again.

It's just NOT WORTH IT. If you are young, then understand that your libido will not always be so large, and eventually your brain steps in where your penis used to rule.

[–]dontbedenied1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

30 years old. I feel like while I’m relatively young I need to take advantage of that but as I said the effort is getting old.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I've had a series of long term relationships, they all ended with me leaving because the way they ended up treating me was totally inexcusable. I have no clue how men stay in these relationships with people who treat them like they're actual dogshit, but I see it all the time. When I was in my early 20s a coworker actually said to me "It's gettin' pussy dude, that's the important thing." It's about what you value. Change your values and they lose all their power, it's a pretty wonderful feeling that offers a much better return on investment.

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. I’ve been disrespected and certainly put up with more than I should have but I’ve always ended it before it got too bad. I read about guys who stick around or even PROPOSE after they have been cheated on. I feel really sorry for those guys. They don’t know any better.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Right. I wish someone would explain to these guys that just because you FORGIVE someone doesn't mean you need to MARRY them!

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

And just because a woman comes back to you, crawling and crying after she cheated on you (or was disrespectful in ANY way) doesn’t mean she won’t do it again. Once a woman has overstepped a boundary, there is no going back.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd wager that it means more likely that she WILL do it again. Dramatic people are just cheap con artists.

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Amen to that

[–]Kawaii_Knight1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just an fyi...starting out with I'm not an incel and n count just makes you look insecure as fuck. Nobody cares here nor will they think more or less of you for it.

I'll believe you're tired when you're truly free from female validation and using them as a measure of your worth.

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am insecure, so I don’t care if people think that.

[–]Kawaii_Knight0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like what you did there.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go to Church, it's the best way to meet a ton of women trying to hop on the beta-bux... i mean find a good man like all their friends. All the women right about to hit the wall are there stalling out the inevitable until they're either engaged or pregnant, looking for Mr. Chadlite Beta-Bux who's naive enough to think he's found a lottery ticket. Queue every pop-country beta-bux song on the radio right now

After these ladies have ridden the CC since age 15, now age 30, they've discovered Jesus and are now letting god into their lives after all the pump and dumps by Chad or long term relationship with abusive drug addicts, they've really changed for good now. God has forgiven them and changed them. Wife one up and see how long that whole thing lasts...

My belief is that if a woman didn't make marriage a priority when she's young then it won't remain a priority when she's older. I know some things can turn sour, so I insist that single-moms are great... for single dads. However it seems that too many of these women approaching the wall are essentially waiting at the end of the finish line knowing the theme park is about to close down.

[–]VanDriver10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why do you feel that some segment of your life remains unfulfilled without a woman? If you "get" a woman what will drive you crazy next, to dive you. Do you think that the problem is you and not a woman? In fact you will have and are seriously ignoring the many more problems, if you get what you want. There is a thing called "putting women up on a pedestal."

[–]dontbedenied1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, I am absolutely the problem. Plenty of insecurities and have put women on a pedestal my entire life. Finally trying to re-wire my brain and not letting them have so much power over me. Whether or not that means giving up on trying to have a relationship with them, we'll see. Definitely more awake than ever though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I never had the desire to chase women. I know I don't have the greek statue body, the giant butt chin, doofy tats, and fitted hats they all crave, but deep down I know I'm a savage and that I won't be cowed.

[–]send_me_them_tits_0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Oh hi Chad I didn't see you there

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Definitely not Chad...

[–]send_me_them_tits_0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Those are Chad numbers bro.

[–]dontbedenied1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Call it what you want, it hasn’t made me happy. The pursuit makes me miserable if anything.

[–]AwesomeCool9090 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I know the feeling. I was single for 8 years straight, then got fit and pulled myself together.

I can get 8s with ease and they would bang me daily, but it's tiring and I am more misserable then when I was single.

I really wish for a girl that wouldn't just see me as a tool, would talk about intelligent topics, loved activities together for the fun of it and actually cared.

You can't really share anything with them, they can be physically intimate if you upkeep the attention.

But that's the problem, upkeep. They care till you care and you need to keep improving, fighting, holding frame, etc.

It becomes numbing and draining, you can never actually like them or they leave or share all your secrets with them.

It's a waste of time

[–]dontbedenied1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's funny that I posted this on Monday. Just last night (Tuesday) a girl who had previously flaked out on me invited me to go out, and we wound up hooking up. I was a complete phony, faking interest, bullshitting half-baked philosophical ideas, and she ate it up.

I'm not at all interested in this girl, I just used her. And I'm pretty sure that's all it's going to be for me with women from here on out. My last relationship fried my brain and I am so numb to feeling anything for anyone. After I fuck a girl I just want her to get the hell out of my apartment.

I'd love to meet a girl who loves me and who I love and talk to non-judgmentally and share interests and fuck. But if/when that happens I'm sure I'll just put her on a pedestal because women like that are so rare. I don't want to put myself through that hell again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same here, except I've had a few long term relationships. Those were sadly worse.

Keep the drunk fuck buddies and get some decent friends

[–]bblueewwaterr0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This post actually made my cry. I'm so sorry that you think using girls is the best option for your low self-esteem. Revenge is a terrible idea. Think about improving yourself in appropriate ways not using others to make yourself feel better. Also, people meet their soulmate at any age so maybe she's there and you're overlooking her. Go for the girls you normally wouldn't. But do not hurt other people because someone else hurt you. They don't deserve that. They didn't do anything wrong. If anything you're bringing your pain on yourself.

[–]dontbedenied0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm surprised that's what you took away from my post. Maybe I've implied that in some of my angrier moments in other posts, but that definitely wasn't the spirit of this post.

I've been used, women and I have used each other, but any time I see myself beginning to use a woman for sex, I cut it off. Using women makes me feel worse, not better. And typically I am berated by the woman for ending whatever relationship we had, but I can't (up to this point, at least) look at myself in the mirror after using a woman for sex. So basically I've been painted as a bad guy by these women for NOT using them for sex. I'm certainly not using women as a means of revenge.

I've been trying "traditional" dating. It's been frustrating. That's part of what this sub is for. A place for men to express frustration over experiences with women. And it's one of the few places you can be honest about things like that.

I do appreciate the hopeful advice that maybe I just need to keep trying, go for girls I normally wouldn't. I haven't been doing traditional dating for very long. If it were easy, it wouldn't be worth it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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