Man dies and goes to Heaven.

Man: God, I was a good son, husband and father my whole life but the women in my life just treated me like shit, you know...

God: Let me look at your file here a minute... ah... oh... uh.... okay.... can you tell me which part of your collective life experience indicated to you that women wanted you around them for long?

Man: Uh... I mean... that's what I was taught...

God: Taught by whom?

Man: Uh... uhm... I'm feeling kind of stupid right now to be honest. :)

God: That's because you are. And we don't allow stupid fucks into Heaven. Sorry, pal. Who's next? Oh, we have a "bad boy"! I bet he treated women the way I intended.

Man: No!!!!!

Bad Boy: Hey, God. What's up?