Her: Hey man, how comes you aren't seeing someone?

Me: What's someone? (playing the autist).

Her: Well a girlfriend duh?

Him (mangina): Bruh a gf will chill your life, look at us.

Me: {Holding my mouth to not burst laughing}. How much?

Both: How much what?

Me: How much does it cost you per month.

Her: I'm not a prostitute you morron.

Me: What i mean is, what are the extra expenses you have that you wouldn't have as a bachelor bro?

Him: Well, we kinda try to share fairly our expenses.

Her: I'm an independent woman who found an equally independent man to share her life with.

Me: Ehmm, doesn't he make like the double than what you do?

Both: ....

Me: And what do you feed them? Those girlfriend thingies.

Her: (ready to burst fom rage)

Him: ...

Her: We eat what all humans eat mate!

Me: Calm down, i don't raise my voice now do i? What quantities are we talking about? For feeding. And are they consistent? Cause they seem to increase after marriage. You know, once the ship is anchored on her dock and all.

Her: Leave him John he is a morron, let's get out of here.

Him: We know a good girl dude, we can set up a date for you two.

Me: What's its age?

Him: Her age you mean? She is 29.

Me: Are you insane bro? Haven't you heard? Women are like toilets. The good ones are always unavailable at that point. The rest are full of shit. You can keep that special treat thank you.

Him: lonely men die earlier man. all statistics show it.

Me: Do statistics also show the victims of longly accumulated misery, harsh work and competitiveness in all facets of life? If such a statistic comes out, lets come and talk about stats? Ok mate? Or even better, when the male widows outnumber the female ones. We'll be talking alright? Bye for now.

Both: Stood up and left my table and she was dragging him forward by the hand.

he was an old friend from school. (emphasis on was). we accidentally met there. they came to my table not the opposite. i didnt even shake hands with her.