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Introduction: The Concept of Love
In the modern world today, the concept of love is often inflated and pedestalized in almost every aspect of life. From Disney movies to advertisement to music to even social campaigns, love is glorified and celebrated as the highest ideal, a goal to strive for, and a mean to an end for every human beings. "Love is all you need" - that is what said by some and agreed by many, yet to the individuals themselves, it is inconceivable to translate into reality for love is not universal nor constant but as fickle and ambiguous as anything else embraced by the emotional society.
Most people today love because they believe in the ideal of love instead of what it truly is and what it enables. Consequently, most people fall shorts to bad break up and broken relationships because they never truly understand what love really means and the circumstances to which it comes to exist. The Disneyesque ideal of love, the unconditionality of love, the belief that love conquers all are all symptoms of this mental delusion that have ingrained within the minds of the mass, causing miseries and distress to people and to relationships that are built upon nothing fundamental but false hopes and promises and expectations.
The Reality of Love
The reality is love is nothing more than a chemical reaction that triggers as an emotional response. It is a feeling, that often is the results of long term emotional connections and investments and hence attachments. Just as you can fall in love, you can fall out of love, and though one love can grow and become something beautiful and wholehearted, love is never constant, and it can fade and dies just as quickly as how it comes into fruition. Like fear, love is a powerful emotion but compare to what the society may have portrayed, love is no special nor magical nor a safeguard and it is certainly not everything nor the most important things in life.
Let's keep it real, love is never unconditional and no loves are equal. Some loves are more genuine, others are more intense, yet for all love to exists, there need to be conditions that allow it to forms in the first place. Deep within our consciousness, we can all understand this fundamental concept. The problem only arises when we appeal to the nonsenses that is the universality of love that dictates how all love supposed to be. Your mother love and your girlfriend loves are different. Mens love and womens love are not the same. They are based on different set of conditions and some are less conditional than others. To believe entirely in the ideal of love is not only unrealistic and delusional but also unhealthy and destructive to the way men and women live and develop as human beings.
Unconditionality in Romantic Love
Understand that, in a romantic relationship, men love idealistically while women love pragmatically/opportunistically. Men love for the sake of love, women love for the sake of ensuring her and her children needs and survival, that is to get with the best man out of all her options. Though the two loves are extraordinarily different, they are complementary to each other in a sense that helps to build a healthy and stable family, with the condition that both genders understand, accept and commit to their roles within the relationship. To think otherwise is to walk a path towards failure and misery and to be naive of these differences is to crash and burn without ever learning within your romantic life.
So to the men of the modern world, you need to realize that women love (to a degree) is always more conditional than yours and that she is not capable of loving you the way you would idealize to be loved. She can still love you, but in her own way, the way in which she deems as right and the way in which fulfil her set of demands and needs that nature and nurture have instilled within her. Her love for you extends much further than just who you are, but what you have, what you accomplished and what you are capable of.
Moving Forward As Men of The Modern World
As much as you would like to be happy, and be satisfied, and be appreciated, and be loved, for your pure existence, you can not escape this reality of life, nor the hypergamous nature of women. As a man, you will always carry the burden of performance. As a man, you are judged and followed by the values you have and bring to the tables. As a man, you can not just be but you must become in order to live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life. As a man, you must accept the hierarchy of love and exercise the roles that nature has given you, that is to develop and improve yourself constantly to become the best men you can be.
This is the harsh truth, wrapped in a pill waiting for men to swallow. You can choose to ignore or deny it, but understand that your fates lie in the actions you take, and the decisions you make depends on the awareness in which you grow. The reality is, it is far more healthy for the men of the world to confront this truth rather than hiding away from it for it many times means the difference between life or death and living a happy or a miserable life.
Knowing this, you as a man can not rely on romantic love to fulfil your life, but to discover his highest purposes and focus on building and completing himself. If at any point in your life, you want to settle, remember that there is no one woman, but only a woman whom you choose and be with. Be the man of the relationship, and the man of your own life. That is the only way to live happily within a relationship with your women, with those around you and most importantly, with yourself.