I was in a seriously abusive marriage. My wife cheated regularly two years in. Went on rampages that I had a serious problem picking up the pieces after finding out. Downright attacked me when I confessed my sex drive had died off due to being repulsed with her.

I withdrew. Took care of myself and did my best to put food on the table for us and the kids. Got in the best shape of my life.

At the same time my ex-wife kept doing her thing. At one point she had gotten involved with some rather dangerous thugs. Drug dealers. On a Sunday some came over and took turns on her while I was listening. Thankfully the kids still had one day left on a soccer camp.

After that I told her enough was enough and that this had to come to an end. So yeah. It did. Police was called and lies were told. I got charged with battery and a restraining order. That night in jail though. Not knowing if my kids were okay. Not knowing if the house was full of thugs maybe slipping some pills to my kids.

I scrape by. I pay support. I pay alimony. I go on every visitation. Just no joy in my life. Felt dead inside and time just flew without anything really happening.

One day I get an officer comes to get me. I'm under arrest under suspicion of having beaten my ex-wife to death. I was scared to death. I knew I had nothing to do with that, but if she was dead, wtf was up with my kids? Were they alright!? I got incredibly anxious and asked over and over if they were okay. They just refused to answer and I got angry and then got told I was refusing to cooperate. I get furious and panic and slam the table with a fist, demanding an answer. Not a good idea as I get my face slammed in the table and dragged off to jail.

Turns out she hadn't been killed. Died from an overdose, but she was bruised and I had a record of beating her up. Eventually my charges are dropped for lack of evidence and it's regarded as a suicide. I don't know what happened to her.

But you know what? I'm glad she's dead. I wish I never met her. I'll never recover from what she put me through. Worse yet my kids are not the same anymore. God knows what the hell they've been through alone with her. I fucking failed at taking care of my kids. My one son told me a month ago that he wants to die. I had to cry hearing that and held him firmly.

What the fuck can I do now. I'm happy she's dead. I'm sharing this because I saw a similar post, I suspect was just bullshit. I noticed it got derided. Does society care so little of us men that we should take any kind of abuse and also grieve when our abusers die off?