Hello all, been lurking here for several weeks. I will try to keep this short
My wife and I (both 34) are coming up on our 10 year marriage anniversary. We have 2 kids, she was a single mother when we met. I proposed, a month later she became pregnant, so from single care free guy to father and husband in a year. I ignored a ton of red flags, because I didn't know better then.
Sex dropped off almost immediately after getting married, and has gotten worse overtime. About 2 years ago, she stopped sleeping in bed. We have had the argument over the years as it was dying off, but the reason it went this long was I shut my mouth to see how long she could go, apparently the answer to that is forever. I put my foot down, I said my needs (not just sex) were not being meet and I was going to seek a divorce. She started sleeping in bed and started to initiate sex, seemed like she was trying, but it is duty and unpassionate.
It's not the only problem in the relationship, she blows fucking money like it's her job leaving me nearly nothing to pay bills. My future in my career depend on my credit score, insurance companies will look at it when appointing me when I take over the family business, and will cancel their contracts if I have shit credit. There is also the deal with the fucking animals she keeps bringing home, they piss all over the place, and have destroyed the market value of the house I purchased 5 years ago (she is not on the deed or mortgage because of her garbage credit score).
that is where we are at now. I want to leave. I just can't afford to. We couldn't sell the house for what we owe because of those fucking dogs, and if there was no child support (50-50 custody and we both work, making about the same right now) I couldn't survive with the expenses that I have, the credit card debt she left me with, making both my car and house payments. that is assuming no child support, not sure how realistic that is. I would leave her the house and payment, but she couldn't get it in her name because, again, her credit is garbage. I assume I could rent it to her, and have her basically make the mortgage payment, but then have to concern myself with evicting her if she didn't pay.
I honestly don't know what to do. the other option is to suffer through a shit marriage for another 9 or 10 years until the kids are gone, but I run the risk either way of my future being canceled because of not being able to pay everything with just my income, and how she spends money and how she doesn't give a shit about me paying bills (actually gets mad at me for paying shutoff notices, and paying bills on time etc.). We are currently overdrawn in our account because she doesn't know how to do basic fucking math, or more likely, she doesn't give a shit.
I do not suspect that she is cheating on me, I have looked through her phone, and it doesn't appear that she has the time, she never disappears for hours at a time or things like that, I just think that she is asexual, on top of her other issues.