I've been MGTOW for a long time due primarily to a lack of desire. Throughout my life relatives have prompted me to offer predictions of when I would find a girlfriend / wife, etc. I have maintained with them that it isn't for me at this point in time (or any point).

I don't understand why it is that people feel the need to market this product so aggressively knowing that they themselves had to be humbled by marriage failures before they accidentally stumbled into a sustainable arrangement with a similarly humiliated partner, that each of them have enough family/friends/acquaintances who have experienced failed marriages, and that each of them do not 'present' their current situations well when pushing for this.

My step dad took me aside when I was very young and showed me pictures taken of him when he was at the worst-points of his first failed marriage.

He told me that the only thing preventing him from putting a bullet in his brain was the awareness that his daughters would be subject to the full brunt of their mother. Flash forward a decade and this same man is giving me advice that I will need to apply to my first marriage. How is this level of cognitive dissonance possible?

I don't understand how it is that people will push so hard for this arrangement when they have objectively/measurably been harmed in prior marriage attempts. I can even say that my mom lost a tremendous amount of her SMV taking a risk on marriage to my father, my father by contrast lost his reputation/standing and a large chunk of his income. Both of these people remarried and push for marriage in spite of having been burned by it. When I look at their current situations, I can say they aren't much of an improvement on the undesirable conditions they left outside of the fact that the humility/trauma experienced in the past has resulted in both parties attempting to cooperate more ardently. The outcome of this cooperation is 'uneasy peace' as opposed to 'hell on earth'.

What causes this? Why marriage in particular? These people are essentially pushing for an ultra high-risk arrangement which results in comparable outcomes to extensive recreational use of hard-drugs. Why are these people so wary / closed-minded where it comes to something with social stigma 'hard-drugs'/'strange sex'/'surrogacy' and yet they are goose-steppingly aggressive when marketing marriage/family in spite of the comparable risk?

I can't have a substantial conversation with these people regarding hazards of marriage in spite of the ample evidence of negative outcomes in our social circles. Why?

If at the very least they were open minded enough to accept this idea that marriage is (sufficiently) flawed, family court is (sufficiently) predatory, and extra-marital means (surrogacy/adoption/whatever) can result in the fulfillment of their 'genetic legacy fantasy', they would come across as non-malicious. In the absence of this willingness to entertain alternatives, they come across like addicts trying to defend/promote their habit/lifestyles irrespective of the damage that could be caused to more impressionable / younger people and irrespective of safer alternatives. The more they promote this very specific lifestyle and shun alternatives, the worse their intentions seem.