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keysongot
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]herpderpfeynman76 points77 points78 points 6 years ago* (24 children) | Copy Link
the processed food industry has destroyed most traditional notions of the wife fixing dinner for the family.
Heating up a frozen lasagna or similar is not fucking cooking.
edit:
and don't get me started on the argument that more women are working so getting home after work and making a home cooked meal is just too much. I've worked 12 hours days in construction and still had the drive to make myself a nice meal when I got home.
No it's not too much effort you're just a lazy sow.
Also, SLOW COOKER
[–]IntrovertedMagma46 points47 points48 points 6 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Dude.. I make food better and faster than my mother lmao..
[–]herpderpfeynman28 points29 points30 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I'm so thankful my mother cooked home made meals for my dad and siblings but holy shit she can not make good scrambled eggs.
If I'm ever staying over my parents during a holiday and I suggest making breakfast my dad is like please, do.
[–]IntrovertedMagma12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha.. poor Dad..
[–]Yu-sion9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
How do you fuck up scrambled eggs? I seriously want to know how that's possible.
[–]herpderpfeynman7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
overcooking them, I like my scrambled eggs fluffy (not runny) yellow not crusty orangish brown.
[–]givecake[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Whaaaat.. So she must put them on and just leave them, it's so simple to just stir them till they're done. Takes less than a minute when heat is up.
[–]herpderpfeynman2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
exactly
[–]ockhams-razor4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
happens everywhere... people don't give a shit and just lightly scramble them... put them in a pan way too hot... every now and then drop a piece of shell in the mix...
happens ALL THE TIME
[–]Cingetorix3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Overcook em so that they taste like a kitchen sponge instead of eggs.
[–]ockhams-razor2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
the secret is.... heavy cream and butter in the pan on low to medium heat... and heavy cream whipped into the eggs prior to putting them in the pan.
[–]omega_dawg932 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
someone has been to france. lol.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Squidhunter887 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Did you ever consider that your mother was the cause of you fathers blood pressure to be high in the first place? Since it dropped on her departure i find this somewhat amusing and interesting.
[–]IAmNoLongerBeta5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same here, i almost take only half the time my mom takes to cook the same dish and i am only just starting.
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
And yet, the women I know seem to derive incredible pride from throwing a thing into the microwave. "Look at the work I did, appreciate it." And leaving the wrapper and box on the counter afterward...
[–]herpderpfeynman5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
one of my exes once cooked a frozen pizza in the oven without removing the cardboard underneath.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, the lazy carelessness, thoughtlessness is mind-boggling. Might just be a matter of "SF" rather than "NT" personality type them. More women of that personality type. You have to fuck up IRL, and get shamed, before being able to actually do something correctly.
[–]Skayruss0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Are you kidding me? NT women are unicorns. So incredibly red pilled from the get go. They don’t bullshit. An SFJ will be a traditionalist. An SFP will be fucking around driven by emotions.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
traditionalist Conformatist - i.e.: is this the thing that they want me to do right now? Is this the thing that is mutually approved.
[–]Skayruss0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good call. You understand functions.
[–]bobthetitanic0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't believe you, you're being hyperbolic.
[–]the_unseen_one16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Men are better than women at everything, including being women.
[–]uglymtherfker4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Atleast they say it themselves... whispers Bruce Kardashian
[–]randomgamerguy19972 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amen
[–]CharliesDick1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men are probably better at sucking dick too.
I'll let someone else be the judge on that one.
Just wish women would do it a little more often.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"All the best cooks are men. These veal cutlets, melt in your mouth, Frankie. Now for a punch of salt...throws salt over shoulder"
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men do everything better than women, except the act of pushing out a baby, because it’s physically impossible for a man. But if we had wombs we’d do that better than women as well.
[–]ThrowawayGhostGuy194 points95 points96 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Both are good jokes.
[–]rationalthought31448 points49 points50 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
yeah but the zinger really goes to Sahaj
[–]ThrowawayGhostGuy120 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed.
[–]madgr1ff3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Not really...”hurr durr women belong in the kitchen” was an old joke when Jesus told it.
Should we discuss the quality of airline food while we’re at it.
[–]rationalthought3149 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
the penis size reference wasn't older? What female comedian hasn't used a joke along that line?
[–]madgr1ff2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Admittedly it’s not the most original joke either, but it was based off an original observation and required at least a little bit of effort to think of.
It’s not good, but it’s definitely better than
It’d be the same level of humor if the original tweet just said
The iPhone 6+ is smaller than advertised. Men have small penises.
[–][deleted] 64 points65 points66 points 6 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Correction: We know Apple is run by men because the overwhelming majority of everything innovative and useful is.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Lol you know the point I’m trying to make. As an iPhone SE owner I am well aware of how the original iPhone was an inferior rip off of a Nokia at the time.
[–]UrbanEngineer12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Marketing and presentation is a big part of a product's success. I love opening apple products.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Same, the boxes are lovely!
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The equivalent of only 2-3 alimony payments! Oh wait....
[–]arcb7c69e21 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Maybe they should just sell the damn boxes by themselves LOL. I am joking and not joking at the same time; I've experienced the 'exhilaration for no good reason' while opening an Apple product box.
Haha agreed, I’d buy them. I love how they are always just the right size for whatever is in them. No unnecessary bullshit like other boxes for electronics.
[–]ElegantBiscuit4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Also the build quality. Imo the biggest difference between a certain Apple product and the rest of the competition I would say is the Macbooks. Metal build and hinges that just won’t quit really make a world of difference. I’ve found that most windows laptops have looser hinges that make the screen wobble if the table wiggles a little, and paired with touch screen laptops just infuriate me to no end. The stock chargers are a little shitty, but can easily be replaced by Anker or other third party nice charging cables.
They’ve also set up their own environment with their products where everything seamlessly syncs with everything else and compatibility is not an issue. You’ll get software updates and not really have any problems with functionality if you don’t mind upgrading every 3 to 6 years depending on the product.
People may claim it’s overpriced, and while they’re not exactly wrong, people like me who willingly shill for Apple on my own free time will tell you you’re paying for convenience, build quality, and the Apple environment.
[–]UrbanEngineer1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It just works. That's another thing. I don't know why, but the whole Apple experience just worked better for me.
I'm a built windows PC kind of guy, but all of my devices are Apple lol.
You are right about the MacBook. It's super high quality. Mine lasted through my 5 years (internship school) of college and then went to me sister and it still works great.
[–]dazed1110 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
which nokia?
[–]geeses1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Innovative at making money off idiots.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
You mean like stealing their latest OS kernel from the FreeBSD guys and most of their GUI from X11 and GTK? And charging 4x the cost for base Intel 3 year old hardware?
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mate, I am way too fucking dumb to know what any of that means. All I know is that it feels nice to Reddit from my iPhone, and that was because of a man.
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The point is not what technologies you use, the point is whether you can assemble them into a product that just works well and is a pleasure to use.
FreeBSD, X11 and GTK are piles of shit. They are ugly and a pain in the ass to use. Apple took that shit and turned it into gold.
It doesn’t matter if your phone has faster wifi or bluetooth - Apple took those well established technologies and made AirDrop, solving a problem that has plagued networking since the 70’s: ”How do I get this file from this device to that device without using umpteen message technologies and requiring network connection, etc?” Simple, elegant, should have been there since the start.
It’s not the tech that’s important, it’s how well you make it work, and so far Apple is the best.
Apple didn't do much except make it drag and drop. Personally, I believe in CLI or GTFO, but I'm just going to say lets agree to disagree on this one. My engineering snobbery and elitism would lead to bias here.
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Drag and drop is the important thing. If you need to be an engineer to use it, it is essentially useless. Elitism is just intellectual masturbation.
I feel like people should strive to learn, not make it easier for them with drag and drop. If you're too stupid to string some syntax together to get/put a file or directory over a simple tcp connection, you don't really deserve to have a computer.
[–]Vlad_the_imp_hailer0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, and if you’re not willing to shovel coal into a boiler, you shouldn’t own a car.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThePanther9947 points48 points49 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thats all they can attack
[–]jargonoid59 points60 points61 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Man: I spent countless hours working on this thing that will revolutionize the industry!
Woman: lol your dick is so small you can't get a girlfriend so you waste all your time on that doodad?
[–]ThePanther9924 points25 points26 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Basically.
[–]uglymtherfker10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But be careful to talk about how loose her pussy is!
[–]WeaveAndWish5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Moreno annoying part is they think it's actually clever.
[+]ItsRhiRhi123-18 points-17 points-16 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Lol, none of the guys on this thread will be coming any time soon
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why do women need to put "its" in their online names followed by toddler speak?
Room temp IQ
[–]NefariousRaccoon2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
savage
[–]tallwheel2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"It's ME!!! I'm a GURL!!!"
That's all they've got.
[–]tallwheel0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Probably not any of the women who come to troll it either.
[–]CeleritySteam30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bets on how likely it is the THOT views social media using an Apple product?
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Looks like that chick from friends honestly, Courtney Cox?
[–]Kart0ffel26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Women can't even cook anymore, so I can safely say they can't even run a kitchen.
[–]MyMomSaysImLame8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve worked in kitchens for about 6 years now and every girl i’ve worked with has only been good at cutting corners, starting drama and flirting with all the guys and causing more drama. Oh and a couple of the girls also fucked the managers and got fired
[–]PalmelaHanderson_II2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Worked in kitchens for 8 years. Can confirm.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh look more dick shaming because the "lady" has zero intelligence or anything of value to say.
[–]Lenovojunk16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]uglymtherfker15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think we need to name the sizes of womens vaginas. I mean it's pretty easy to say 6 inches aren't enough when you could fit a whole airport into your pussy.
An airport is too small for them
[–]Devilsgun3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Kama Sutra actually did go into that -
Male Kama Sutra Sizes:
Hare (Small) Bull (Medium) Horse (Large)
Female Kama Sutra Sizes:
Deer (Small) Mare (Medium) Elephant (Large)
Whole lotta Deer/Horse action going on in 2018 amirite?
[–]Israfelll12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The modern western woman is not really good at ....well...anything.
[–]Sol_Install9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Savage
[–]findthemiddle9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Also not getting sued like google.
[–]-Fender-14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
They ARE getting sued, though. Their new software update crippled the speed of older models, and they admitted to it, so there's now a class action lawsuit filed against them.
[–]deadBeefCafe20148 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
To be fair, batteries don’t care about the end user.
[–]-Fender-4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That was the reason given by the company, yes. I've read a user account that said that since the new update was installed, both the speed and battery longevity had been crippled to half of what they used to be. My guess is that it's completely unrelated to the battery, and they tried to slow down the older models on the down low without people noticing too much to encourage them to buy newer models, but then they fucked it up by lowering speed too much, and also fucked up by admitting to anything. They should have said "Sorry, unforeseen glitch to the patch, here's a hotfix that will solve the problem."
We'll see what happens with the lawsuit, I guess.
[–]uglymtherfker8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Forget the size of their cups. Most of the women talking about small dicks just have issues with their loose vaginas!
[–]ThePanther997 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL not a kitchen hahahahahahaahah
[–]TigPlaze5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's a photo of Courtney Cox when she was young. I'd bet she used that instead of her real pic because she's a blob.
[–]retraderat4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ironically the best chefs are men
[–]xJacy2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wtf does that have to do with anything? Jesus christ, some people don’t know how to organize their thoughts throughly and best of all, shut the fuck up. The reality is no one but idiots will care about your opinion, especially something so vague like this.
[–]LizardIsLove2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
r/murderedbywords
And all women fall for it as well
[–]jaycee91 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
bitches always got their minds in the gutter...
[–]casra8881 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If it was run by women they'd claim it was 150 and actually be 275
[–]P5Cel1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Even so, the top kitchens are run by men too.
[–]Jackretto0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Murdered by words
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sahaj FIRE!!!
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomgamerguy19973 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men probably could make better sandwiches than women.
[–]batfish550 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sahaj there beat me to the punch. Except that women don't run kitchens anymore.
[–]angrydelta0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never underestimate the obnoxiousness of a mediocre desi girl who watches Friends.
[–]geronimostilt0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
R O A S T E D
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Same reason as iPhone 5s?
Ouch, she asked for it.
[–]XxCool_UsernamexX0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only women make fun of the things men can't for the most part (outside of hanging and shit) fix. At least our insults have class.
[–]genesic1230 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why is she unhappy that the phone is not "big enough" to "satisfy"her?Oh wait......
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