My mother taught me that “men are like that”

141 points•26 comments•submitted by aldebaran_sirius to r/TwoXChromosomes

When I was 9, my mother said that some girls are like handrails, everyone can put their hands on them. She made me believe that and encouraged me to hate every girl that was, according to her conception, easy.

When I was 16, I told my mother that my first boyfriend hit me in a discussion, and she told me that men are like that. I asked her if I should dump him and she said no, because I was ugly and no other man would want me.

One year later, I finally dumped him. She didn’t like it.

I was going to spend a few days at my [female] friend in another city to recover from the emotional stress. My mother didn’t let me because she went through my computer, saw our messages and realized I was bi.

My mother said I shouldn’t date women because once a woman was in love with her and made her life hell. It’s not true, it was a crazy competitive co-worker.

Men have made her life hell. She was verbally abused, beaten, threw out of her own house, cheated on, abandoned while pregnant and after the children was born (she has 4 kids, including me, from 3 different fathers; two of them abandoned her, including mine). Men she dated went to her workplace and caused a commotion, making her lose her job.

And she’s still chasing them. She’s 45 and everything she does is to please some random crappy man that will throw her a few coins then hit her. She has no identity other than being with something with a penis.

She taught me that it’s normal to be abused. And I had to struggle every day in my life to tell myself than I and other women don’t deserve that.

Now I’m happily married with a great man and cut her off. The only woman I ever called my mother (my grandma) died last year, so tomorrow is a sad day for me.

Happy mother’s day to all of you that won’t ever let your daughters go through that.