548**📷[r/AmItheAsshole**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/)•Posted byu/ConsistentLibrarian97 hours ago

AITA if I refuse to attend my sister’s wedding because I once dated her fiancé and I can’t face his parents?

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Yep so this is a mess.

Anyways my younger sister is getting married next May, engaged just a few weeks ago. She’s coincidentally been dating my high school ex who I dated for 3 years between 18-20 (I’m 27 now). It was long enough ago that we’re all on friendly terms and no one really finds it that strange anymore.

My sis and her fiancé still live in our hometown of not that many people. I’ve moved away since I turned 21 and whenever I come home I basically only see my closest family and no one else. I don’t have the best reputation with some of the older generations and I’m fully aware of this. This is important.

So the issue I’m now facing is that I truly, desperately do NOT want to see my sister’s fiancé’s parents who hated me when we were dating. We had split on terrible terms (it was my fault, I was in a bad place and cheated on him in college) but even tho he doesn’t carry any kind of grudge anymore everyone in town knows his family despises me.

My sister recently called me about this very topic. She wanted to walk me thru all the tricky pitfalls of interacting with his parents since they still hate me and will probably say terrible things to me in public. She told me that his parents promised to be on good behavior but that I shouldn’t provoke them. But no matter how much I insisted that was a complete lie from them, my sister is still 100% blind to how psychotic and dishonest his parents could be. So I sat on it for a few days thinking about all the crap they’ll end up doing to me and it just ate at me so much I couldn’t sleep for two nights. I talked it thru with friends and my bf and eventually called my sister to tell her that I don’t know what to do because I might not be able to go to her wedding if there’s any chance I’ll be publicly humiliated and verbally abused in front of hundreds.

Well I gently raised this with my sister but she lost it. She said if I miss her wedding then I should just never call her again because she won’t pick up. She thinks I should just suck it up and let his parents do whatever they want to me for her big day. I get where she’s coming from but I also feel like the cost is too high for the sake of my own mental sanity over the next year. AITA?

Edit: to everyone asking why no ones told the parents to behave. The parents are telling my sister and her fiancé that they won’t say anything to me and will be perfectly sweet. But I know them well enough to know this is a complete and utter lie. I told my sister as much but she has never seen their nasty side and totally believes them at their word. So now it makes me look like I’m bailing on her wedding for no reason at all even though I know his parents won’t resist talking down to me if they see me.