So a year ago, relatively new to MGTOW at the time, I posted on here my story struggling with what to do between divorcing my wife and keeping my kids. Stuff was bad back then with things between my wife and I. I got awesome support from everyone here and great advice.
Here's my update which has been fairly positive:
We're done having kids (we have 4 now). Didn't start getting red pilled until after she was pregnant with the last one. She's a SAHM. I made a long post about it over a year ago. After learning more here and getting some input. I decided to ice her out. I completely withheld affection. I also stopped picking up her slack like cooking, cleaning (don't worry I took care of any mess I made). She complained we weren't the same. No kidding. She complained we weren't being intimate any more. No way! Why would I be excited to be with you if you weigh more than me after putting on 60+ lbs since we got married? She never acts excited to have sex so I would rather take care of it myself instead of just have her lay there without being into it. Love my kids and won't walk out on them and she knows it. I basically told her how sick I was of her not pulling her weight in our relationship. I work my butt off at my job. I make a good salary as an engineer. I'm a great and attentive father. I'm attractive and fit and she just spends her whole day being on Facebook and talking to her sisters so that when I come home there hasn't been a thought by her to have dinner ready, to clean the dishes or the house, or to even get dressed for the day. Nice.
Anyways, I told her my list of what is pissing me off and eventually said what value do you bring to this relationship besides having pushed some babies out of you or letting me have sex with you once in a while? She then says well I'm more than just someone you have sex with right? I then say, it sure doesn't feel like it and I'm pretty sure I could get it somewhere else if I wanted to but I don't because I made covenants with you in marriage. Not anyone else.
In my religion, (I'm Mormon; not looking for your critiques on my deeply held beliefs. Thanks.) we believe marriage endures beyond the grave and that it's extremely sacred. So then I turn to her and say: if this is what you are going to be for the rest of this marriage, I'm out. If I don't want to be with this lazy and minimal effort version of you, and I don't see it changing anytime soon, then why would I be wanting to be with you for eternity? You need to bring something to the table. You need to meet my needs cause I'm sick of this being a one way street. She got defensive. The hit bird flutters. We went to a counselor. He confirmed to her that she needs to step up her game. Glad we paid someone else to tell you the obvious. She starts making changes.
Flash forward a year. I'm still being a good husband and father (I'm not perfect but I'm doing a good job) and meeting her needs. She's lost about 50 pounds and still losing. She keeps the house clean more than she ever has before. I can't even tell you the crap she has finally gotten rid of. She has dinner ready most nights. She keeps up with the laundry. She's more into sex and initiates it more (2-3 times per week). Actually wears lingerie from time to time now also (amazing how losing weight makes her confident again to be nude and sexual; who could have possibly guessed it?). She whines less and seeks solutions instead to her problems.
I'm not trying to sound TRP cause I'm not a big fan of that community, but I'm making the best of the situation and going the best way I can (not exactly MGTOW because of the constraints) without getting divorce raped, or losing my kids (who I love dearly). If I had been red pilled much earlier in life, I would have gone my own way, I'm making the most out of what I can and it's working to an acceptable level. For those of you who say I should divorce anyway, it's acceptable to me to stay married in this case cause she's making changes and I'm absolutely not going to risk losing my kids to Utah's overly friendly women courts.
TL;DR: SAHM wife was overweight, not cleaning, cooking, doing laundry. Low flame on sex. 4 kids. After getting red pilled I hear advice here over a year ago, I decide to ice her out. She can't take it. I tell her I'm out if things don't change. She changes. Loses weight, starts cleaning, cooking consistently, doing laundry. More passionate sex. Whines less. Would rather be full MGTOW, but glad I didn't get divorce raped or lose my kids.
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