I'm sure some feminists or other curious onlookers lurk in this group wondering why someone might go MGTOW. Some probably assume it's about hating women, but that's definitely not the case with me. For me it was a case of “enough is enough.” I had one girlfriend cheat on me and then refuse to take responsibility for her cheating. To her it seemed normal to date some dude behind my back while we were exclusive. As long as she broke up with me before they fucked, in her mind that was not cheating. When I objected to this behavior, she claimed I didn't trust her. It was like, “WTF? You just got done telling me that you cheated.” So then it took years to find another girlfriend that I loved just as much. When I did, it seemed great. She had moved from another state to get away from a violent and verbally abusive boyfriend. I'm super non-violent. I had recently had a great success in winning a playwriting contest. She was attracted to me for that until she realized that I was not financially successful. The play was my first, and it was produced in an unpaid theater. So she dumped me to move back to the other state and be with her violent ex again.

A couple years later, I got back in touch with her and she talked about how much she regretted leaving me because he beat the crap out of her all the time. She talked about leaving him and getting back together with me because I was such a better man and never hit her. By this time, I had had some more success with more plays and had modest financial success this time. Then she quit returning my calls. Then her phone number went dead. I wondered WTF? Then a couple months later, I googled her name, wondering what the fuck had happened. I hoped I could find a social media page for her or an email, a job address, something. Call me crazy, but I felt I was owed an explanation. I did not find a way to contact her. What I found was her obituary. He had murdered her.

I'm told I'm some kind of whiner for believing I'm a better man than men who assault women or murder them. Attraction is not based on being a good person. Whatever. I do think being a kind and non-violent person makes a woman more attractive. That doesn't make men more attractive? Whateverthefuck.

So I had PTSD over this shit. The fact that she chose her murderer over me fucked my mind over bad. So instead of pursuing yet another relationship to fuck me over, I'm staying out. I'm protecting myself. I'm getting counseling to try to put the pieces back together, but MGTOW has made me realize I'm not obligated to be in a relationship if I don't want to be. My life is of value whether I'm together with someone or not. I have creative talents and have won awards through my writing and my photography. I'll focus on that. I see relationships as one big headache and heartache. I don't have to let someone fuck over my life. The sad thing is, my ex didn't have to let a violent man fuck over her life either. She had other options. She could have been by herself too. She could have been with me. She could have been with some other dude who didn't beat the shit out of women. For all her faults, she certainly didn't deserve to get murdered. I tried like everything to get her away from that dude. I begged her to come back and be with me. I begged her to come back and not be with me, to just be friends. But she wouldn't. Somehow that violent SOB had a super hold on her.

I've been non-violent all my life. Now I've chosen to opt out of relationships. Because of this feminists will brand me a misogynistic, violent asshole.