I did a sex act for my ap that I wouldn't do for my bs. Bs want to try it but I don't want to

📷Seeking Advice

I'm using a burner because this is deeply shameful

This is just another fucked up situation I put myself into. I had anal sex with my ap. My husband has always wanted to try but I always thought it was too degrading. I don't know what came over me during my affair but I was more open to it then. Hell, I even enjoyed it a little bit but for some reason, the thought of doing it with my husband is really disturbing to me. Of course, after finding out I had anal sex with my ap my husband is bringing it up again. At first it was a just a suggestion but now he's telling me that me not being to it with him after doing it with my ap is making him feel hurt and disrespected. I don't know what to do. My husband would never force this of me but by unwillingness is hurting him. Has any other ww been in my shoes? Is there a way to find a compromise? Should I just put my best game face and reap what I sowed?

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