Why Men Don't Show Up.

469 points278 commentssubmitted by [deleted] to r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen

Yesterday we saw this post on WAATGM from a female blogger in Charlotte, NC who tried to set up a meet and greet with single men and women in the area.

She got lots of women to sign up. In her words, "attorneys, business owners, and women who’ve dedicated their lives to non-profit work. They’re smart, funny, attractive, and truly interested in meeting someone."

She got only a few men to sign up. The male response was, again, in her words, "a few gems, but the majority feature half-complete applications, or applications peppered with biting snark that make me hesitant to set the person up with anyone, for fear of a first date horror story that’ll fall on my shoulders."

And she scratches her head. Because she just cannot figure out why the men aren't showing up.

Lucky for you, I have the answers you're looking for. I know why the men aren't showing up.

1) The only "straight single men" you see, acknowledge or even know exist are top 20% men. It's well understood that women don't see men they aren't sexually attracted to.

2) The top 20% men don't need your event to meet women. They've got more pussy than they know what to do with. Newsflash, dearie: Those men are already hooking up with the women who signed up for your M & G.

EDIT: 3) Men don't care about women's accomplishments. Men don't care that these women have professional achievements or social awareness. Men don't care about their intelligence. Men care initially about these women's physical appearance, kind demeanors, and that they're not insane. So you women constantly miss the boat when you tout your jobs and your bank accounts as things that ought to attract men. They don't.

For about the seven billionth time, let me just say it. AGAIN. In italics and set off. You all read this as many times as you need to in order for you to understand it.

Men do not care about what school you went to, your job, your bank account, where you've traveled to, or your IQs. We care that you're not fat, you're pretty, and you're nice to us. Can you PLEASE understand this. PLEASE.

End edit.

4) The bottom 80% of men have no chance whatsoever. Women have made it clear they don't even see bottom 80% men. Women don't even know there are men who aren't sexually attractive. They don't even register as men to women.

EDIT: This fourth point is hyperbole. Of course most of this bottom 80% gets some sex, sometimes. But they have to work for it, spend for it, beg borrow and steal it, and even then it's given grudgingly and in a half assed phone it in manner, and even then they might not get what they want.

And these women just aren't worth the effort. High risk, high effort, low return on investment. Not worth it. End Edit.

5) Whatever chance bottom 80% men do have, they will have to work for what your female cohort gave away to other men for free. Men are on to the game. Men are waking up to what women have been doing for the last 30 years or so. And they're just walking away. They're not playing a losing game. They're not doing the "heads I win, tails you lose" no win scenario women are offering.

They're not going to waste $30 or $40 on drinks, and a couple of hours listening to some woman who won't fuck them (but is happy to have him pay for her drinks) talk incessantly about her job, her pets, her friends, and her parents while intermittently sending texts to the guy she's going to hook up with after she leaves the date. They're not going to waste time and money on another man's fuckbuddy or FWB.

6) Men long ago stopped listening to your shaming language. That bit about "what, are you guys all playing video games?" is just shaming language and it's completely lost its effectiveness. Men just aren't listening to you anymore.

Dearie, the girls who signed up are looking for beta bux guys to use. They failed in converting their FWB to a boyfriend. Their hookups aren't sticking around. The men who are attractive to these women are already fucking them and don't need meetups. Your signed up girls have already made it crystal clear they aren't interested in the remainder. That vast majority of men have better things to do than waste time on women who don't want them.