Tonight I thought it'd e fun to have a drink before the interesting familial clusterfuck that is thanksgiving tomorrow. I love my family but I also know how vain my people can be it's a gathering of love with lots of micro competitions. my newly engaged cousin and her fiancee will be the star of the show and those of us who are older and unmarried get to enjoy the tidal wave of questions that come with such a happy announcement .

Despite all that as I was walking home and replaying my drunken musings I came to the conclusion men are constantly evaluated and measured based on the amount of money they produce and the value they provide to other people. I sat at the bar alone and saw a group of friends singing and bullshitting each other they looked like they were having a fantastic time and it dawned on me how important it is to have those relationships , to know that no matter how broke or fucked up you are in life to have that clique or group you can run back to and know that you are a valued and important individual .

Lots of men seek this relationship with a partner and said partner proceeds to disrespect and throw them under the bus for ....not buying a more expensive ring...or not being able to afford a nicer restaurant, not having a bigger place, nicer car, what have you .

Your value is much more than the things you can afford and even the value you produce . The people who truly love you , the people who truly understand you will be there when you make not so much money as well as when you make a lot of money.

seeing the group of drunk singing bros made me want to text and hang out with my own friends, we'll probably hang this weekend and bullshit ourselves. I've known these guys since we were little boys going through puberty and shit , when girls getting boobs was the hottest and latest news and all of us couldn't even begin to understand what the real world of adulthood looks like. nearly a decade later and we have all reconnected and it's one of the best relationships I have in my life. When I was nothing but a nerdy kid these guys could relate to to being a much more successful nerdy guy these guys can relate to and it's never been about who I was or what I produced it's about the relationship we have together. these men are my bros and it's good to know that for the most part they are there for me and I am gladly there for them as well .

Anyway all my drunken rating amounts to anyone who loves you , won't put a dollar amount on your value because your value shouldn't be based on the gifts, services, or opportunities you can provide... if they are then you're little more than a networking or financial springboard and like lal things once they reach a certain level they'll be looking for a promotion like ANY other business endeavor .

Happy thanksgiving men and know your worth ...and I'm not talking about net worth .