Cheering for the end of civilization?

I don't think it's going to end in a blazing glory. The problem with creeping socialism is the ever expanding debt bubble we have inherited. Even Trump, as much as I would have voted for him if I lived in the USA, I don't think he can solve the debt bubble. He sided with the democrats on the continued lift of the debt ceiling while he tries to sort the financial crisis in DC(at least that's what I think he's doing). I think he's being pragmatic about the situation. Enforcing a debt ceiling now will cause many institutions that rely on government funding to collapse. The biggest crisis we will face is when no one will lend USA money because USA can't service their debt any longer. This will lead to several things when it happens, and it's not gonna look pretty (take Greece as an example).

How does the debt bubble works it's way into the Mgtow community? Well, it's simple. The debt is a result of overspending by the government. The same government that gained it's power through the emancipation of women's right to vote. Women vote for more spending. Women out vote men. It's not a far stretch to say Women are the destroyers of western civilization. And our destruction will come in the form of a debt tsunami. Not a blazing glory, guns a blazing, kinda destruction, but more of a hyper inflation and no more money to be borrow kind of destruction.

As for your personal story, I can sympathize greatly with your sorrow. You touch on a beautiful point near the end "I also know there is a huge conflict in recognizing how horrible women are, and then wanting one.". For older mgtow who had their fill of women validation, they might not understand what it's like to be a younger Mgtow. Us younger men that are taking the redpill but at the same time did not experience intimacy with women have a hard time fighting their biological urges. I'm probably categories as a TFL, I don't think I'm ugly and I did have women approach me before, but I was in the very nice guy camp. I would turn down some women because at the time, I didn't see myself as worthy of their affection (i had a self-depreciation view of myself back then). By the time I ended my university education, I started a small business with the help of my parents. It's been keeping me very busy for the last 4 years, I hadn't had time to date or meet anyone during that time (as I was trying to improve my SMV to compete for girls). But during those 4 years, I learned about Mgtow and had since decided it's not worth my time to chase skirts. I ended up being a virgin with no dating experience and thus a TFL in most ppl books. I'm okay with that, but there are times when I get depressed about my conflicts of "recognizing how horrible women are, and then wanting one.".

As for your therapist giving you advice to seek validation through females is a very poor advice IMO. I think your situation requires you to learn to love yourself first and foremost. I don't know what drives you, but for my younger years in life, I found validation from helping other people at the sacrifice of my own happiness and well being, hence the nice guy camp. I came to the conclusion through my Mgtow discovery/running my own business that our disposition to be altruistic will always make us losers. People are heartless out there and will take whatever they can from you. It's a sad fact, and when you run the scenario in your head, the only way to protect yourself from self serving people, is to become self-serving yourself. The way I justify my transition from nice guy to selfish guy is that whatever I do, I don't take from anyone else. That's my rule in life, be as selfish as you can while not hurting anyone else in the process. The transition wasn't smooth, it's hard to square your kind nature with the logical action to be selfish. I'm not sure if you also feel this way but if you're thinking that being nice is your best strategy to reproductive success, I would say it's a fool's dream.

I would say, be selfish. As selfish as you can be for your own happiness. Just don't hurt others in this endeavor. That would be my advice. I wish you well.