It's been 8 long years since that heartbreak. Since that blue pilled nice guy got betrayed by the "one", who was an AWALT anyway.It's been a journey and countless plates later here I am today. Sometimes I wonder if I could get to meet the nice guy that I used to be. What would I say to him? What advice would I give to him. The fact that I miss him and love him so more than ever but I can never have him. It's like a part of me would always believe in true love(being brainwashed by the media and society). But I know better. I find solace in knowing the fact that I can not be disillusioned to fit society's standards anymore and a woman has no value to me. I don't seek praise or approval. I care about nobody. I am more free than ever today and my wings will never be clipped. Yet memories bring back the blue pilled "nice guy" that I used to be. I think there is some sort of comfort zone in being a blue pilled beta and getting cucked by "the one" but the price that one has to pay is mediocrity. I will never go back to being a "nice guy" yet I will always miss him because the only person that I love the most after myself is him.