(I’m using a throwaway for safety sake) AWALT

My wife passed, and I was left with my son who is 6 now, (he was 3 then)

Because of fortunate decisions regarding life insurance and an Inheritance. I also ended up comfortable, although far from wealthy by any means. I own my house outright and I live in an area which is a little under the average cost of living for the US. So I can invest much of my income and still be very comfortable.

Initially, I had no interest in bringing another woman into his life. So I stayed single. I was very lonely for a long time until I started to get used to it, and even more so, started enjoying my own company. Because I work remote, I am home with my son and have lots of opportunities to do things with him. Which became not only my main goal in life, but after a while, my preferred thing to do as well.

After a while, I started wanting more social interaction. I started inviting friends over to watch football etc. And enjoyed that. Mostly men, although sometimes they would bring significant others. I’ve always enjoyed cooking, my first career was as a chef, and I have formal training. But living alone with a child certainly limited how much use I got out of those skills.

Eventually I realized that I missed cooking and invited some friends over for a dinner party. It was a huge success. And It started to become an almost regular thing. These parties grew and of course, now women were often involved as partners of friends, neighbors etc. I Never pursued relationships, and quite often stated blankly that I wasn’t looking for one.

That’s when I realized something interesting. Since I was obviously not poor, not in bad shape, and because of my lack of interest in relationships, the rumor that started spreading was that I was too devoted to my wife. (Which wasn’t the reason although I still miss her). Now this had a profound effect on the amount of interest I garnered from single and not so single women. The more the rumor spread, the more women started to actively, and sometimes embarrassingly seek my attention.

People started trying to set me up on dates, which I turned down. Then they asked if they could bring friends to the dinners, which I didn’t mind. And more often than not this was divorcees looking for partners. The more I resisted relationships, the hotter a commodity I got.

I never said that I had a problem with women, Honestly, up until about then I didn’t. But I started realizing that something was amiss with the whole thing.

It didn’t click until one day I decided to google a female behavior that I had no clue was so well documented, The “shit test”. I was baffled why women I had invited to my home would be rude, ask weird questions try to what I thought was aggravate me. I had never actually considered that this was a “mating dance”. And to be honest, I can’t recall this happening when I was young and dating to any extent. Maybe I just missed the cue or probably just failed the tests badly back then.

I have never been a hard person to be around. Everyone calls me polite, friendly and nice. So, I was dumbfounded by this rudeness, until I figured out that it was always these single friends that were brought by others. And started googling.

That led me to MGTOW and here we are.

I was never MGTOW by an active choice, but somewhere alone the line I red pilled and started seeing things for how they are.

I guess in many ways I’m still “bad” at this. I still enjoy women’s company, they tend to make the dinner parties a lot nicer too. But I’m DAMN careful not to be alone with one. It’s been more than a year since I invited one into my bedroom, and I don’t miss that either. But I must admit, being constantly pursued and considered the eligible bachelor around this smallish town is good for the self-esteem.

I’m hopefully teaching my son to be more than happy on his own through example. He only sees me being a perfect gentleman around women, but he also sees me not responding to their whims. As he gets older, I’ll make sure to teach him not to dance to their tune.

I guess as things go, I’m a lucky one. I never had to learn the hard way to become MGTOW. But through sheer circumstance, I’ve gotten the opportunity to go my own way and be a positive role model for my son about self-reliance and making your own fortune.

Not sure what my hopes is with this post. Other than to say that no matter how you arrive at MGTOW, you’ll probably find it clarifies a lot of things in your life.

AMA i guess