If I go this route, it won't be long before I'll be begging my wife to touch my chest. Begging like a total loser. I'll be getting nothing from her while she'll have me by the balls financially.

It's easy to predict this miserable future. I recently met a slim Indian with an overweight. He was a good dude, but it was obvious he was pressured into it and he looked tired and miserable as fuck. Indian betas out there, don't say you weren't warned.

I'm close to getting renounced by my family but I think it will be worth it. I already moved to another city and ghosted them.

After corona goes away, I think I will go to Bangkok and try smooci.com. This has nothing to do with sex. Mostly I will hug the hell out of them, take deep breaths and absorb all the energy I can from them while they sing songs and read stories. I can imagine doing this for hours every day for weeks. That's how much I'm starving for female affection. That's how desperate/sick I've become. My bad experiences have left me a totally heartbroken mangina. I'm lost and don't know what else to do :(

I have all my limbs and mind intact and good cash so I can be grateful, but fuck, what kind of a life is this? This sucks.