(drunk rant) Hi guys, I'm just a man. This is more of an erratic jumble of sentences than a cohesive post.

I have a limited view of the world, just like everyone else. I'm a flawed, biased, and an emotional human being.

So, I take anecdotal evidence with a huge grain of salt and you should too!

I like this sub because, I have personally experienced women being altruistic towards me. A Filipina gave me $100 (yes she had her citizenship!) when I was working a shit job because I was bitching about school and life altogether. I was so close to giving up and she saw something in me, despite my whinny pessimistic disposition. People see the best in each other (including women!). btw she got totally fucked over by a man who exploited her during her citizenship process.

Women aren't sociopaths, perhaps maybe we've created a culture where sociopaths thrive? And that "winning!" mentality is coveted. Do whatever it takes!

That being said, in a romantic setting I feel like a used car salesman, I feel like love is a material thing that I can promise a woman things. I feel used, I feel like a social status a woman can latch on to.

I feel like I need to promise her the life her father gave and that is not economically possible (not in this time anyways). I have student debt and need to support my mother and father.

Don't get me wrong, I've felt love. I would give a woman my life in the moment that warrants it. And if anyone from r/Trufemcels is watching, yes I have crushed on women who weren't conventionally attractive (small breast, large forehead, large jaw, wide shoulders) yes I've been infatuated with that girl who is actually funny and smart.

I love women. They are most definitely the yin to my yang. As a man, I love to feel needed, I love feeling strong and a provider.

Now... All that being said. I have seen what divorce does to men, my brother is in hell, maybe he is weak, maybe he chose the wrong broad, maybe he is a shit husband, maybe he is failing to bring home the bacon! But I can't see that, he has always been the guy to go the extra mile. My father is the same, he was divorced and continuously defends my mom even though she cheated! WTF is going on! Is this the human condition?!!!!

so I ask, what makes me special? I would love a woman with everything I have, down to my bone marrow but I couldn't marry because people change. Circumstances change.

Just like my brother, I'm a white trash loser in a southern state. And I am white trash, I've accepted that.

Short, ugly, redneck, deathmetal fuckwad. I was destined for meth not college.

But weed made me paranoid so I didn't do much other drugs.

I was "smart" which really meant I could read directions and didn't lose my temper, congrats! I'm a fucking TOOL!

Finished my degree and worked a shit job for 3 years making 22k a year (55 hours making up for extremely incompetent adult-children, both male and female), I have no sympathy for the poor (this is when I was Redpill'ed in a political sense).

I moved up the ladder and things got weird...

Being treated with respect, clients paying for our lunch meetings.

"You show genuine gratitude when a client hears a pitch, whether they like it or not"

"Well yeah! look at all these bread sticks!"

Somehow that positivity launched me into a better career

Some people don't understand scarcity. I'm talking, hoping school comes earlier because then you'll be feed for breakfast and lunch. (god I was fat from 19-22 when I had my own money).

I remember dreaming of food. With drool on my pillow

So why am I here?

Because the message that people keep pushing doesn't jive with my experience.

"It's not your height/money's fault, you're a chauvinist with no confidence!"

Oh ok, soooooooooooooo why do I suddenly have female attention?

Why am I suddenly good enough?

I'm still the nerdy redneck kid from bumfuck, nowhere. Why now am I so charming?

My confidence didn't change, my height didn't change, I'm more bald then I ever was before.

SO WHY NOW AM I GOOD ENOUGH?

I feel like a fat girl who lost weight over the summer.

TELL THE FAT GIRL IT'S HER SHIT PERSONALITY OR THAT SHE IS MISANDRIST

suddenly height doesn't matter, I've proven my worth, wow gee I'm so happy to play this game. I'm so happy to eventually be good enough

WHAT A FUCKING CRUEL JOKE

NO I'M NOT PLAYING THE GAME

I found a beach that charges $10 a year to camp there, I'm gunna take care of my parents and nieces. Then I'll hit my retirement investment of 400k and volunteer. I can retire at 34.

I'll buy a boat, do fishing tours, party with the outcasts of society, and bring some real altruism into this shit world.

I'M TIRED OF THE ANGER AND HATE, WOMEN AREN'T THE PROBLEM, THE WORLD WE CREATED IS THE PROBLEM

If a woman comes along, fantastic, but she's an accessory to my life, not the main focus.