I wasn’t looking forward to writing on hygiene. Luckily for me the Chinese Bat gods saw fit to give me a good pretence to talk hygiene. I’m going to assume everyone has already read the previous articles on hygiene on the sidebar. If not, please do so then come back. The guys did really good work and it’s hard to write something worthwhile when the reader doesn’t know how to wash his ass yet.
Why is hygiene a thing in a space with men and dead and dying relationships?
For starters, a lot of dead bedrooms are the guys own damned fault. If you’re not fuck able, no one will fuck you, regardless on whether you bring home the bacon or put a ring on it. I used to think most people had the basics down, but after a few years reading every sob story, every victim puke, every hat in hand request for guidance pretending to be a field report I realize that yes, we do have to ensure you wash your ass before going further. In addition, hygiene is about giving a fuck. You’d not believe how many guess dress like shit because they want the world to know they don’t worry about style like a fag. Message received asshole. Enjoy your complimentary Porn Hub subscription. Giving a shit about the little things means you give a shit about the big things. It’s counter intuitive until you actually do it, then it’s god damned instinct. Finally, and this is the part that I want the reader to take home from this, hygiene is leadership, for the above reasons and more. If you’ve not heard, we are in the middle of a definitely not overblown manufactured crisis. Since everyone is so afraid of liability that they will ensure they do every bit of security-theatre possible to show that
‘we are doing everything we can to keep you safe.’
You know who eats messages like that up? Women. Women love that people are ‘just doing something!’ regardless of whether it helps, hurts, or does nothing. Why? Because women process the world through their feelings, and feeling safe equates to being safe.
The Slippery Slope
I’ll bet if you look into all the chores around the house that you’re nagged into doing that a lot of them never made sense to you. A quick wipe with a clean cloth and some soap and water is sufficient, but Karen nags and nags for you to disinfect the counters with bleach, right? Never mind that sandwich you just made tastes like bleach and you’re probably killing everyone in the house, it just feels cleaner. I remember from my old blue pill days, my vegan girlfriend of the time was adamant that meat not share the same fridge space as anything else. That makes sense, except where she demanded that processed meat sit beside raw meat. Thats a cross contamination nightmare.
What does this have to do with hygiene? If you know how to be clean you know how to give a shit about a level of cleanliness you hold for yourself and whomever is in your house. Karen talks feelings and you know better. On my meat example I did the serving it right course, learned how to have proper food hygiene and when I got the demands, I ignored them. I know the place is hygienic, and all the whine mouth words in the world didn’t change that. I could safely ignore the nagging and maintain frame. My fridge is clean and I know it’s clean and thats the end of it. If you don’t care and she does, her feelings will eventually trump your knowledge. This is why nagging works, it taps into the ambivalence of men.
My girl fought it, for a while. Most kids do that when their usual tricks don’t work. They amplify them assuming they aren’t trying enough, then eventually give up if you’re consistent.
I’ve learned a lot from my military time. 12 years in the RCN. I’ve scrubbed more toilets than I can count. And we had a few simple rules for keeping a hygienic space. Since the ship was recycled air, everyone got sick if you didn’t, and your chain of command lines up taking turns tearing you a new asshole.
Two buckets, one with clean water and an empty one. One cloth and one brush with a little abrasion to it. A disinfectant (I like pine sol, but you can use bleach if you hate your clothes) some soap and something like VIM. Start at the top of the room and work your way down. Start with the cleanest items and work your way down to the dirtiest, everything gets a once over. Grab water from the clean bucket and wring out the dirty water in the other bucket. For the tub, sink and toilet it’s the same thing. Scrub them with the brush to get anything loose, then use the cloth to clean up the loose residue. Do the toilet last, I shouldn’t have to tell you this, and instead of sticking your hand in there just use a toilet brush. Back of the seat, underneath the seat, under the bowl, and around those stupid bolts that always have loose caps to them. Our Coxn used to walk into our bathroom and take a deep breath to give us the hint. If it doesn’t smell clean it’s not clean. Chemical smell and potpourri is not clean by the way.
Same principle, start at the top and work your way down. Two buckets. This includes cleaning around the trash can under the sink. Just because you can’t see the top of the fridge doesn’t mean there’s nothing on top of the fridge. When you’re done, take a paper towel with a dab of mineral oil and wipe your stainless steel sink and faucet. If you have an induction stove soap and water and a cloth are good enough, wipe it down well and the fucker will shine like a mirror.
If you’re with a girl, you’ve seen the standard scenario. A giant mountain of clean laundry while she roots through it every morning for something to wear. Eventually the pile mixes with the dirty stuff and it all gets washed again. Theres tons of good videos on proper folding of towels and sheets and hanging clothes in the closet so I won’t waste your time here. The point is it’s your house and you give a shit, even if she doesn’t. I wouldn’t bother folding her clothes if she can’t be bothered. Put em in a trash bag or a laundry hamper and throw them in her closet to deal with later. You will get grief on this but fuck it, if she folded her bras it wouldn’t be there. You’re not joking because you have a house you can be proud of and you take care of the shit.
Same as everything else, start at the top and work your way down. Less water is better because you want to pick up the dust, not turn it into a paste stuck to the wall. I love a damp dry mopping of the floors but I have wood floors, carpet people are on their own.
Finally, whats the point of all this and why do I care about Landry when my wife is a bitch and won’t fuck me?
Notice how almost nothing in this so far is about your frigid wife, other than to get her lazy laundry out of your way? It’s like a metaphor or something. Ideally if you’re with a harpy who doesn’t provide any value to you, with the exception of a 9 month uterus rental why in the hell are you putting your happiness on her, waiting to do something for you? She’ll let you down, and on purpose. She doesn’t care. Perhaps you should care, hence why you have a spotless house, folded towels and a clean living room. You’ve spent god knows how long on being resentful of her being so disengaged that you’ve allowed yourself to wallow in your own misery and filth.
So you’re running Dread, you’re washing your ass, dressing better, working out etc. So many guys still have their head up their wifes ass in some stupid covert contract where they put themselves in the position for her to judge his self improvement and whether it’s worth a little duty sex that month. Fuck that. Your keeping your house and hygiene up to standard because you’re living like she died last year and this is how you live if she wasn’t there.
If you’re doing this right, she may not be.
Ideally, after a year of looking hot and handling all your shit you’ll look over at frumpalumpamus and think:
‘Why the fuck is she even here?’ and you’ll finally start to realize you’re the fucking prize. A fully self actualized man who has his shit together and plenty of women would like to get to know better, and you’re wasting your time watching someone take it for granted. It makes you mad and you do something about it.
And if you’re one of the ones whose wife or girlfriend realizes that she will either step up or be pushed aside? Well the next time she mandates some stupid ritualistic cleaning hoops for you to jump through you won’t be bleaching or cross contaminating your sandwiches with raw chicken anymore. I guarantee there are guys outside, right now who are looking absolutely ridiculous with ineffective quarantine-ready feel good measures filling their houses with panic.
Guess whose broke right now for spending 80 dollars on toilet paper? Guess who is so timid that their wives dried up like the Sahara? Guess who isn’t the oak in their home and keeping their families actually safe instead of ‘feeling’ safe?
Be that guy if you want, but from what I see, guys who have their hygiene squared away and their heads on straight tend to have wives and girlfriends who are calming down their co workers who are filled with all kinds of panic. It turns out that by being the hygiene alpha male that the shit ripples to the social circles around you. I know my woman stopped watching the news, calmed down plenty of married beta-male co workers and no longer tries to bleach my food.
It’s not about being clean, it’s about belling deliberate and knowing your standards.