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60 DoD Week 5: Game

April 30, 2018

I love the game. Women love the game. Everyone loves the game. If you don't love the game, you aren't an attractive person. Period.

What is the game? And why must you play it? Game, in its shortest definition, is the social interplay between men and women. It doesn't matter whether you're married, single, in a relationship, or otherwise, you should always be playing the game - because the game is fun.

High Level and Abstract

Social attraction and flirting have no barrier on whether or not anyone needs to put out or act on it. The men who don't understand this basic concept, who wrap up covert contracts into the simple act of flirting, are highlighted all the time over at r/niceguys. Those guys are fucking faggots, omega at their core (if you buy into the terminology), and are shunned by everyone as they ought to be.

Attractive people flirt. That's how it goes. That's why attractive people are attractive. Just because you're flirting, doesn't mean you're keen on fucking. Grasp that subtlety. Flirting makes people feel good. Being flirted with makes you feel good. As a high value individual, you should be adding value in any given situation. Making people around you feel good should be something you're doing by default. Since this post isn't about attractiveness, I won't delve into situational awareness w.r.t flirting - but suffice it to say, don't be a social retard, it's unattractive.

Note for all you newbie Neds - if your wife isn't being flirted with, she's probably bottom of the barrel. If you're salty because people are hitting on your wife, all you're doing is demonstrating how unattractive you are. Note that this is also why mate guarding is so detrimental to your attractiveness - because it demonstrates the fact that you are either unaware of or scared shitless by the possibility of loss (i.e. no alternative options). You think Hef was scared to lose bunnies?

When a woman is single, you're competing with everyone. When a woman is taken, you're only competing with one person.

Even fat chicks get fucked on eurotrips.

But mister, I'm a social retard. I don't know how to flirt.

Luckily for you, a whole bunch of other social retards got together back in the late 90s and early 2000s to deconstruct interpersonal social dynamics. It works great for people who have no idea what they're doing. That's how I was first introduced to this material. The classics are classics for a reason.

Structured Game

Let's start with where I started back in 2008 -

The sheer amount of basic information is staggering. It covers everything from posture, to conversation, to tricks and gimmicks (palm reading, cube, etc.), eye contact, body language, the whole 9 yards. It has basic routines and structured game that you can run if you have no idea what you are doing. Mystery's M3 model is covered here as well. Best done calibrating with in field experience.

The ridicule of keyboard jockeys was immense then too. The guys who don't get in field, but instead sit around, jerking off theorizing about hypotheticals. Still happens all the time, guys with no practical experience who posit lots and lots of bullshit. It's very transparent to anyone who actually puts in work.

Inner Game

Somewhere during the mid to late 2000s, there was a big shift to inner game, value giving, and congruence. This is pivotal, but useless without the in field foundation from structured game - because it's so easy to delude oneself. I knew a guy who was pumped because he f-closed and eventually caught feelings for ... a tranny. We judged the hell out of him. Not so different from MRP. It's so easy to bullshit yourself - but does it matter if you're actually happy?

Back then, r/seduction (aka seddit) was still pretty good. Here is TofuTofu's guide to inner game. The focus here was getting to the point of personal congruence and recognizing you are enough - and getting the reference experiences to reinforce the point. So many men in MRP fail because they lack congruence - what do you want? and the more important followup - what are you willing to do to get that? Without the answer to these questions - your actions don't really matter. "I'm not sure, yet.", "I'm figuring it out.", and "I don't care." are perfectly acceptable if that's congruent with where you're at.

The most important work to come out of this era was probably RSDNation's Blueprint Decoded. There used to be downloadable audio and videos of the seminar, but I think it's been lost with time (but here are the pdf notes). To be perfectly honest, I didn't get through the entire thing - but the one thing that stuck out to me was Tyler's line "Most people go through life in a walking daze."

Et Cetera

Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter documentary - One of my favorite documentaries which highlights how much of game is more than just about looks. While looks matter, so much of it is about fixing the mindsets and attitudes that have been fucked by modern blue pill society.

But Mister. I'm seriously retarded. I don't actually know how to put any of this into practice.

Okay - so you understand IoIs, so you understand eliciting values, you understand body language, and congruence, and the whole 9 yards. You know interpersonal touch is important, but you don't know how to go about implementing any of this information.

Since everyone here is married, I hope to go this isn't any one of you guys, but in case it is - in case it's been so many years that you've avoided platonic touching, here's a refresher.

The definitive work to kino is Vin Dicarlo's Kino Escalation Ladder. Lots of youtube videos on this, but the premise is simple. We have parts of our body and person that are more personal than others. By leveraging this information, we can gauge our level of comfort. If we're intimately familiar with someone, we let them closer to our personal space. Similarly, if you're playing with a girl's face, hair, or ears, you're in.

If you don't know how to establish comfort and dominance and attraction via body language and eye contact, you must know at least how different ways to touching people trigger various types of psychological responses. If a girl's willing to share a drink with you, she's willing to be kissed by you. If you're brushing hair out of her eyes and she's not flinching, she's willing to make out with you. The difference between standing side-to-side versus a tight angle. Locking eyes while imaging her naked and squirming, and how that changes the look you're giving her. How many of you men are gaming your wives at this level?

I've written before about how 93% of communication has nothing to do with the words we're speaking. That was in the context of talking and congruence. When it comes to game, 93% of communication still has nothing to do with the words you're speaking - but so much of it is posture, body language, eye contact, intonation. You, as an attractive man, who flirts with everyone, should be leveraging and practicing with this in mind so that you're developing that level of attractiveness and seductiveness without ever having to rely excessively on the physical. Can you tell a woman you find her sexy with just your eyes? With just the way you're looking at her? Just by the fact that you've checked her out from head to toe, knowing she knows, and having no shame about appreciating such a fine, fine woman?

The best compliment I've ever received was from this beautiful half-vietnamese half-french girl during my PUA days. What she said was "You're not much to look at, but there's something about you that's just so attractive." That was all personality, self certainty, swag. How are you subcommunicate your ownership of your sexual nature as a man to sexually attractive women?

The dirty little secret

The pickup world is ultimately a numbers game. The more women you interact with, the more women that potentially fit the bill for what you're after. Something like 5% like you outright, 5% hate you outright, and 90% are indifferent. You need to be physically attractive because that skews the numbers game more in your favor. But the truth is, not everyone is going to like you. You're not going to like everyone. So in the pickup world, what you're really doing is filtering for the common matches that share common goals. But you're a married man - so does any of this actually apply to you?

Remember the rules

  • Rule 1. Be Attractive. Game will help you here because attractive people play the game.
  • Rule 2. Don't be unattractive. This is where most of you will fuck up. How does game help you here?

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Post Information
Title 60 DoD Week 5: Game
Author weakandsensitive
Upvotes 67
Comments 27
Date April 30, 2018 5:31 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very good stuff here. A interesting mindset change is to be attractive to all women, not just one woman.

Play the game, son. My dad always said this to me while growing up, but I didn't get it until a few years ago. Play the game of work. Play the game of school. Play the game of dating. Play the game of life.

Play the game.

[–]88Will88 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I love game, game is it’s own reward. Without game you are not a man, men hunt like lions, hunting is fun and natural. All of the links above are good, old school PUA techniques work and there is an abundance of material out there. It gets confusing, so here is 88Will88’s abbreviated cheat notes for easy lays once you have opened or you are on a date

  1. Laser eye contact
  2. Rapport with eye contact, if you are an introvert, let her talk, if you are an extrovert, dazzle her
  3. Initiate light kino, touch her knee without breaking eye contact, lightly hold her fingertips then hand. Touch gently, if she does not break away, give her hand a squeeze, if she squeezes back she is probably down to fuck (DTF) that night
  4. If she withdraws from kino try once or twice more (gently on fingers only) if she withdraws again terminate and go elsewhere, you cant negotiate attraction
  5. Sexualise the conversation and pass shit tests. I prefer the pressure flip for all shit tests, makes her think it is her idea to fuck.
  6. Isolate and fuck her good so she sees you again
  7. Comfort and cuddles

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

8 Rinse and repeat

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

But you're a married man - so does any of this actually apply to you?

True abundance is knowing other women will fuck you. Playing the game confirms your suspicions. When a strange woman at the mall will physically put herself between you and your own child to get a better vantage point, you're doing it right. If you're the type to f-close when married, I'm not mad at you, in fact you're more certain than I am of finding a soft landing.

Game practiced everywhere also keeps it natural at home. Fuck, I flirt with "women" on the internet, not because I'm a tryhard creep, but because it's what I do naturally. Some women are immediately turned off by it, and I don't give a a fuck. The fact is, I keep the banter between my wife and I sexually charged, I bring the fun and experiences, and she's the happiest I've seen her in 10 years.

Rule 2. Don't be unattractive. This is where most of you will fuck up. How does game help you here?

Game helps you here, because you need social proof from other women for your woman to feel her best. Married guys who do stupid shit like "self-deprecation game" or "humble game" are using a beta strategy, that lessens the value of those around you. Think about this, how does saying "I'm really shit, and my 'better half' deserves all the credit of my success" reflect on the woman who CHOOSES to stay with such a faggot? Does she deserve to have the burden of your performance flipped onto her publicly? What does this accomplish, but to ingratiate yourself to other non-assertive faggots?

Rule 2 is also integral to any dread you feel you are capable of exerting. If no social proof is given to you by others in front of your spouse, and you can't get her wet at home with flirting and kino, any dread you might think you are wielding (passive or active), should be met with incredulity or laughter.

Socially autistic faggots can't avoid being unattractive, because their behaviors are incongruous to everyone, not just a woman you lucked into. The social autist taken to the extreme is the Incel. The fact that these guys see game as the enemy is just a refection of their own self-loathing.

[–]thunderbeyond2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stopping the self-deprecating language was a massive step forward for me. People pick up on how you treat yourself and the way you talk about yourself is a very big tell.

[–]fuckmrpMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Ive come to realize, for me, there is a distinct difference between “knowing other women will fuck you” and fucking multiple women.

Even though the potential for opportunity remains the same, my state of mind does not. Its the difference between thinking/knowing you could hunt and kill that lion and having just slayed the beast.

At the end of the day it’s probably all just serotonin and dopamine but there’s an absolute mental difference.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your statement is why I qualified that there IS a difference between thinking and doing, and that I fault no one for taking the DL 11 step.

I have boundaries that I have set for myself. I will end the relationship if it is necessary to find physical fulfillment with other women. I know other women will fuck me, thus no apprehension if put to the decision. My personal ethics have nothing to do with the merits of game, fostering abundance mentality, and getting laid in general.

I'm just one guy who limits his toolbox to flat head screwdrivers, because fuck Phillips. YMMV.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Much like catch and release fishing.

[–]fuckmrpMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like strange.

[–]itiswr1ttenMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My simplest upgrade in my twenties was projecting an aura of sincerity. It's the cousin of being congruent (maybe a symptom?). I liken it to how men evolve their selection criteria for jobs. Coming out of college, you hope anyone will take you and act accordingly with no plan and no requirements. Once you gain actual leverage through your experience, the game totally changes; you seek a place that's a mutual fit, you won't settle for less than you're worth, and you get comfortable making your requirements known.

Same exact way with dating, the latter approach messages value not just through abundance but because the man has defined interests, not just "whoever likes me back." This is very attractive and differentiates you vs. men who will take the first thing that comes along, especially just for sex.

Identify buying questions. "What's your firm minimum?" That's a buying question. Woman buying questions are invitations to convince her what she wants to believe.

  • How old are you? This means you strike her as mature for your age.

  • What are you looking for? This comes in many forms even in marriage - it's a comfort test that gradually escalates over time, and is a status check on your desire to commit (because you strike her as worth it)

  • What's the catch/what happened with your last relationship? Amused mastery this one - you've been passing everything she's given you.

Game is mandatory in a marriage and really isn't any different than dating, your toolbox of responses is just narrower.

[–]hystericalbonding2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Outstanding links and post.

One of my favorites is the application of zones of personal distance. It's fun to watch a woman approach and stop at that invisible border between your social space and personal space, fidgeting and making herself look small. She's knocking at your door - your body language determines whether she enters or not.

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Homework level: extreme

Nice work man. I missed game as was ltr from age 21. Time to play.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for doing the work to put the links together.

My main teacher of how NOT to game is watching other guys game. Its awful.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

The link to u/niceguys (oops) r/niceguys is priceless! Needs to be on the side bar next NMMNG.

[–]RuleZeroDAD 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link


Where the contracts are covert, but the score still matters.

[–]TaipanshimshonMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I clicked on it. I feel durty

[–]The_LitzMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

I can game women I know. I game old, young, fat or married. No problem. What I can't do is cold approach a hot young woman.

This what I want to master. Cold approaches.

[–]weakandsensitive[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What I can't do is cold approach a hot young woman.

If you had $100 to give her, would you still have this problem? You've got her on a pedestal and don't think that interacting with you is an inherent value add.

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

What do you think is holding you back?

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fear of rejection, and appearing thirsty.

Most modern males are taught that failure is not an option, so rather than try something and learn from a negative experience, men choose a path of ease and least resistance.

I'll bet dollars to doughnuts, that you know (or may be one yourself), of a man who can't tell you how he actually "got" to the long term relationship he has, that it just "happened" to him, and that it was not something he actively pursued.

This goes along with the Disney fairy tale mindset of "finding the one when you are not looking" or some other stupid variant. The woman most certainly was hunting the man, for his looks or most likely resources, he saw the opportunity to fuck, and somehow woke up five years later in a job he hates with a woman who is disgusted by him.

We are socialized to be reactive and passive. The best thing, in my mind, regarding RP principles, is the focus on the self and asserting what it is a man wants. That's how identity is formed, frame is formed, and why assholes rule the world.

[–]The_LitzMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Fuck knows. I started off with 1001 reasons to tell you, but it is all bullshit hampstering.

If there is no IOI from her, I don't approach. That is the bottom line. I NEED an IOI. Young hot women seldom IOI me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Young hot women seldom IOI me

Serious question. Have you seen men that were maybe older, not a muscular as you, not as good looking as you, probably not as rich, smart, etc; and yet they would get the IOI's that you are not getting? What is the difference?

Today I'm leaving the home improvement store. An HB8+ that I lightly chatted up at checkout follows me out to my truck, and has to engage me in a conversation about how she loves my truck. She was obviously disappointed when she leaned in and saw my wife in the truck. I probably fit the description above.

[–]The_LitzMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yip, you guys got me on that. I am being a pussy about it. Time to go fishing.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What is the difference?

your not waiting for an overt IOI, but taking the risk and fishing for one first

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, I guess it's how I think of it that makes it different.

There is no risk in a pleasant conversation that I had no expectations from. So, yes, in a way, I am never fishing for just one fish, but I am always trolling for whatever wants to jump in my boat. I almost always throw them back.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i like it, as we say in the woods

deer's in the woods or fish are in the water

in other words, neither are back at camp on a couch

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reading through this post, and the excellent links, I have learned a lot.

I always thought I had game. I never had a problem approaching and have had some success. In some ways I thought I was a natural. After reading your post, not so much.

This is a valuable contribution, thanks. +1

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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