At some point, every father should have this conversation with his boy(s):
Son,
As you are coming of age, your desire to be loved by a woman is growing. To feel the daily warmth of a woman by your side. To have and to hold. This is a natural instinct and one of the strongest ones you have. With that said, it's my responsibility to make sure you enter these interactions with a knowledge that I and very few other men have had the benefit of knowing beforehand.
I love your mother. You love your mother. Your mother loves us both, but not in the same way. You see, she loves me for the life I provide her with. My humour, my handyman capabilities, my sacrifice at work and my emotional support. She loves you as the most important thing in her life that she would do anything for.
This is very important for you to understand, because when you find a girl you want to commit to, you can't expect her to love you like mom does. In fact, if you try to make her love you like that, not only will she resent you for your weakness, she will be repulsed it.
This may seem a little harsh, but it's a reality you must accept if you want to get the most out of a relationship. That same unconditional love that you want from your girl, will be reserved for the offspring that you provide her with.
The irony to this son, is that the love you feel from mom and the love your woman will give to her children, is the same love you will need to give to your woman. She will want a leader. A strong and confident man who makes her feel safe and secure.
Furthermore, she will hate the fact that you still want that love from mom. So you will also need to cut the emotional support you get from her off as well. You need only look at the people in our lives who are mama's boys. They all live in very miserable relationships. This is because men don't need their moms love. They have already gotten all they needed in their youth. I had to find this out the hard way myself.
If you absolutely need to express some of your feelings, do it with your best friends, your brother or especially me. Never with your girl, your mom, your sister or any other female in your life. They can't tell you how to be a man. From this point on, you have joined the fraternity of masculinity.
This may sound like lonely road to travel. That's because it will be. We no longer need that emotional support. Men embrace the loneliness. We learn to accept it and thrive in it. This is where you will learn who you truly are and what you truly want out of life. It's when you realize that you don't need anyones approval to be who you want to be. This is essentially where you become a man. Believe me when I say it son, being a man who lives his life like a man, will be the best decision you ever make.
I love you son
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