The below post from Illimitable Men contains a very solid account of the mechanics of the game we're all playing. I've rarely seen that much expressed so well. There is also a follow up post with more.

http://illimitablemen.com/2015/07/17/fifty-shades-of-red/

He's a bit more black and white about all marriage than we are. But I think we can all agree that "marrying while beta", the romantic equilivelent of "driving while intoxicated", is a terrible idea.