I started my journey on purposely trying to become the ideal version of myself early in 2018. Thanks to all of you and the knowledge we are building together, I have made significant progress on my body, strength, and personal happiness. I am still so far from where I want to be, but I believe I am heading in the right direction.
This week I discovered something that I wish I would have found much earlier. The sidebar covers this in great detail, but for a newbie like myself it passed over my head. The physical components of the red pill are much easier to apply for the rookie - just go to the gym and lift the weight. If you can’t do this then you actually don’t care as much as you think you care. Unfortunately, while lifting is critical, I believe that without frame even the ideal body isn’t going to move the ball forward in a meaningful and lasting way.
Having frame is being your own mental point of origin. Restated, it is to be the thinker of your own thoughts. Most of us have suffered or are suffering because we are trapped in reactionary thinking. Our wives feel something and we react to that feeling. The red pill tells us not to react, but we are social creatures and most of us are very sensitive and tender hearted and actually want the best for our wives and family. So we get lost in listening to the emotions of others and reacting to them. The reactions that we have built over time are automatic and oftentimes not in our best interest. But there is another mode of thinking that is not reactionary. This is actually quite difficult to grasp because the same brain you are using to read this is the same brain that reacts to everyone else’s emotions.
There is a simple trick to become the thinker of your own thoughts and developing frame. Basically, you just have to stop doing everything. You have to find a quiet place, sit down, and try not to think. You use a single object to focus all of your attention on, which for thousands of years has been just your own breathing. You sit and you try to pay attention to your breathing. Within 30 seconds you will realize that you are an absolute shit storm of thoughts. Your brain is constantly feeding you thoughts, memories, sensations, desires. I believe simply becoming aware of this is this first step to developing frame.
As you begin to recognize your thoughts you will realize you are in a sea of people who are all just reacting to their thoughts, just like you have been. Kids are completely at the mercy of whatever their brain thinks. Just like you have been most of your life.
Things don’t have to be the way they have always been. They can be so much better. You can actually change how you think. Try taking 10 minutes every day and practice recognizing and dismissing the thoughts that enter your consciousness. I think this is probably more important than lifting. Then, the next time you are facing someone who is emotionally upset, you will begin to see in real-time how your brain is telling you to react which is actually not in your best interest. And then you can simply not react that way.