This is going to be somewhat of a hybrid OYS/FR that I want to put out there for the new guys. Perhaps others will see some value too, but my observations will primarily be geared towards guys in their first year here at MRP.

About me- I’ve been at this about a year now and it has truly changed the way I think and act. I spent the first several months reading the sidebar, trying to internalize, practicing what was preached on the forum, and reevaluating how I judged myself. Lifting was never a problem; I’d done that all my life. It was my attitude that needed work. Looking through the Red Pill Lens, I have been able to have a good hard look at my past and gain valuable insight …I could see where I’d been alpha, cringed at the various beta moments (and transition to beta), fondly recalled those times I was Chad, and realized at other times I got had by Chad. I soaked up everything I could…and expected things to start changing with my LTR. They didn’t, until I realized a couple key things, and that’s what this post is all about.

Comprehending is not internalizing- This one stumped me for months. I had read the sidebar, it made sense. I reread, bought more books, etc…why wasn’t my LTR responding? It hit me like a ton of bricks when I finally made the connection. I had to internalize the information. It had to incubate. My though process had to change. This doesn’t happen overnight. If you read something and comprehend it, great, but understand that you have to allow time for that new found info to work its way into your consciousness. TheFamilyAlpha made a great post about burning your ship…100% commitment. Read that and remember that the more you commit, the faster this process happens. I still have a long way to go, but now that I can see the difference between thought comprehension and internalized action, the way forward seems clearer.

Your fear of rejection may be what’s holding back your sex life- It has been said on here time and again, “Initiate when you want it”. Truer words haven’t been spoken, but I get the feeling a lot of guys have a hard time with this. I know I did. There is a certain part of everyone that wants that validation of being desired by a partner…the feeling of someone desiring you enough that they come to you seeking sex. My LTR almost never initiates, and it took me a long time to understand why it bothered me so much…and even longer to internalize why it shouldn’t. Honestly, how many guys have run the ‘I won’t initiate and wait for her to initiate’ experiment? I did. We all know how it goes…someone on here said women are like camels in the desert, and that’s true. All you really accomplish is denying yourself sex and reinforce to her that you aren’t man enough to act on your desires. Part of the internalizing process has been the realization that the more you initiate the more sex you will have…but to do that you absolutely must be prepared to kill your fear of rejection and address your validation seeking habits. I realized that being OI and not acting butt hurt are only possible once you have a good hard look at the underlying reasons- if you base your sense of self worth or sexual attractiveness upon her willingness to fuck you, you’re in her frame and seeking her validation. You fear sexual rejection because you view it as an assault to your ego. Once you have given yourself permission to have an abundance mentality, realize that while she may be your first choice, she certainly isn’t your last choice…things get easier. Initiate early and often as they say. Or to put it another way, you miss 100% of shots you don’t take.

I’m only now, after almost a year, really beginning to feel competent at this…but I certainly have a long way to go. So, to those just beginning- put in the work, and have patience.