In need of reality check gents:

Been married a bit over a year. Typical BP shit and let my SMV go down. Shit tests failed etc etc. End of the day I fucked up.

Got onto TRP and MRP for a few months, started working out, owning my own shit, reading etc. I am missing a Morpheus to help talk things through so I am coming here.

In the process of pill swallowing, I realized that I was too far gone in anger to try as much as many of you guys who have more invested ( years , kids etc).

I became more stoic in my way of thinking and talking. This was more in line with how I was when she met me. She went into "you're distant" mode and lots of comfort and shit tests. Some failed some passed.

Last night she threw a tantrum about how I responded to her criticism of me. Specifically I was playing a game on my phone and she doesn't like it. I told her I turned it off when she came back to the living room to watch TV and that it didn't actually interfere with quality time" I realize the BP here, but I turned it on, and off, for me, at my discretion.

She went on to hamster more and without me saying anything about 20 min later of her talking non stop, eventually told me she was depressed and wanted a divorce. She had brought that up before but has been acting a lot better towards me since I started lifting, being more outgoing, being more fun to be around.

She asked me if there was anyone else. I told her there was not. ( there isnt)

Once she brought up the divorce I told her that if that is what she wanted I would go ahead and file the paperwork. ( in times past she would threaten that she wanted a divorce I would BP coddle and beg for her to not leave me etc)

She goes and cries for about a half hour in the living room while I get ready for bed.

Comes in while I am getting ready to nod off and starts to cry and beg and get on her knees for me not to leave her and that she has been a shitty wife and a shitty person and she has no idea how to show love because she never saw it growing up etc etc.

I eventually agree not to file. She keeps begging me to promise her I wont leave her no matter what ( She knows I have stopped making those kinds of promises)

Eventually I do make the promise and am left feeling like I probably have been fucking up more than I thought.

The only concern I have is if she starts behaving shitty to me again, was it frame loss only or she truly doesn't know how to act respectfully? TL:DR - wife asks forgiveness for shitty behavior when she knows I was going to actually leave / Awalt/does she mean it/ trap?

Feel free to rip this up gents