You have all been helping one of the guys with an OAK vs Rock situation. I had one come up last night that I though I handled ok, but her reaction was otherwise and I would like a second opinion in regard to a way to handle it better.

backdrop that is relevant is : she is from a family where step dad is pretty beta, but somehow comes out OAK, a lot. Mom is irrational at best. We had a pre main event ( I think) where she told me that whatever journey I was going on to help myself was hurting her and out marriage. Basically she asked about the gym, the starting to wear a shirt and tie to work, getting involved with some extra curriculars, etc. This was about a month ago. At that point we had a fight where she was talking at me, saying that if I didnt go back to the "sweet boy she met" and fell in love with she would leave even though she fell in love with me. I lost my shit internally. Told her that I had allowed that boy to wither away because I was too busy doing things that I thought would make her happy and now I am doing things for me that could ultimately makes us work.

fast forward a month, following a MAP, she has been doing a lot of the things I expect a SAHW to do. When she forgets to do something and sees me do it or whatever she will apologize . Usually its honestly for things that are not a big deal

Last night I answered her in a shitty tone about two contradicting requests. stupid of me, didnt catch it fast enough.

This started crying episode. In the last month she realized that my love wasn't unconditional and yes in fact if I am not happy I will leave.

she says she has been walking on eggshells around me to make me happy etc.

So conversation after I give her a hug and kiss her paternally and then deeply : Her :"Curvemuch, I need you, you complete me, youre my soul mate" Me: " I love you too Mrs Curve. I chose you , I am keeping you" her : " But you dont need me?" Me: " I dont need you, I want you" kiss etc

ensue crying, hysterics about why did i say i needed her in the past, she cant handle the new me, I am too cold, I dont love her enough , she knows she has been a shit but I need to give her a break" night ended on a soft pleasant note though.

Thoughts / suggestions? Thanks in advance