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Back to Basics – Mystery Method, The Game, and the Rules of the Game, Married Edition

November 2, 2017
106 upvotes

“If you can't attract a woman, you are, by dictionary definition, sterile.” – Mystery

Ah, 2007. Pickup artistry was going strong, and many a young man heard about this mysterious method to “get beautiful women in bed”, as well as a Rolling Stone writer exposing the seedy underbelly of pickup culture.

Before I get started, fair warning – my review will not do justice to these books. These are classics of literature here (Shakespearean in a red pill way), and as potentially life changing as the sidebar depending on where you are in life. Second disclaimer, I have not been, nor do I claim to be a pickup artist. For those of you who are, well damn, post your stories below!

The Mystery Method was the very first book I had ever read from the pickup culture. That book, along with The Game was a gift to me by a friend back in 2007, and I quickly devoured those books. After that, I bought the Rules of the Game. Similar to the books on the sidebar here, it was massively life changing (and in a few years – I got married, so technically the “get beautiful women in bed” statement worked).

A recent comment recently inspired me to read these books again and looking at them through both an unplugged and married lens, there’s quite a few gems here – you can see the building blocks of MRP praxeology.

So without further ado, let’s get started:

The Mystery Method

The Mystery Method is a model. There are three stages of the M3 model: Attract, Comfort, and Seduce. Each of these three stages are broken down into three sub-stages.

A1 – Open: The man approaches a set, runs an opener, and immediately earns the set’s acceptance

A2 – Female to Male Interest: The man demonstrates higher value, while simultaneously showing lack of Interest in the target. She responds with Indicators of Interest.

A3 – Male to Female Interest: The man baits the woman to become more invested in the interaction, and then he rewards her with Indicators of Interest.

C1 – Conversation: The couple shares in friendly dialogue. A sense of comfort and rapport follows.

C2 – Connection: Both parties feel a vibe that “It is on!” Kissing occurs. This phase may last over the course of several dates.

C3 – Intimacy: Now at a seduction location, heavy making out ensues and the couple moves into the bedroom.

S1 – Foreplay: The couple begins the physical escalation toward sex. If this happens too soon, it can cause buyer’s remorse.

S2 – Last Minute Resistance: Last minute resistance is the point of no return before sex occurs. It’s often a freak out moment for the woman.

S3 – Sex: It is necessary to have sexual intercourse several times in order to ensure a sexual relationship.

Remember, the Mystery Method focuses on attraction first, not seduction. There are certain hardwired attraction switches in every woman's mind. Attraction is not a conscious choice that people make. Rather, it's a response that they feel automatically as a result of these switches being flipped.

Examples of DHVs (Demonstrator of Higher Value):

• Preselection from other women

• Appearing to be a leader of men

• Being supporter and protector of those you love

• Being non-needy

• Being unaffected

• Social intelligence

• Negging her

• Having a strong frame

• Having interesting knowledge

• Emotional stimulation

• Being socially "in demand"—other people are seeking your attention or validation (alternately they are paying attention to what you are saying)

• Connecting conversationally

MRP Note: You should be all of these things, and doing them as well. I would also add play with your wife, and not in the giggity way – that comes later. Always be having fun. Always be gaming. Also you must be maximizing your physical attractiveness. Lift. Work out. Exercise and eat right. That is also part of your game.

Examples of IOD’s (Indicators of Disinterest)

• Avoidance: She avoids eye contact. She avoids your calls. She avoids you in general.

• If she can pretend that she didn't hear what you just said, she will.

• She won't contribute to the conversation.

• She gets impatient easily.

• She walks away or looks away.

• She leans away, turns her back, or talks to someone else.

• She is nonresponsive, or she repetitively says "uh-huh" instead of giving you a real response.

• She won't move with you, even two feet away. She won't invest.

Frame Control

Here are the early words from Mystery on frame: “The frame is the underlying meaning. It's the context, the implication—the unspoken assumption in everything you say. If someone asks you, "Are the fish biting today?" then he is implying that you have been out fishing. He hasn't said so, but the listener will assume it is true—it's just part of the frame. The frame supplies meaning to the content. For example, if someone says, "Yeah, that guy got off," what is the meaning of that statement? Depending on the context, it could mean that the guy just got off of work, that he beat a rap at the courthouse and was set free, or that he had an orgasm—three completely different meanings.

"Frame" determines which of those meanings becomes accepted. He who controls the frame controls the communication itself. For this reason, when people interact with other people, they constantly play frame games. Through behavioral cues and subtleties in what they say, people convey their assumptions. If this conveyance is done with enough congruence, others will accept the frame as reality without thinking twice about it. If your frame is strong enough, you can get away with anything.”

MRP Note: Frame is all. Whose frame are you in? Yours or hers? Think of the first Iron Rule of Tomassi – “Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of who’s frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.” Rian_Stone mentioned in his recent 21 Convention speech the following: “What is frame? Frame is your 30 second elevator pitch for your life. It’s your reality. It’s not power; though establishing frame can be you exercising the use of power. You are always in someone’s frame. If it’s not your frame, it’s someone else’s frame. It’s the narrative of your interaction with the world.” BPP has mentioned that frame is Dread level 1. You need to change and build your frame, and stop being in your wives frame.

Resources for frame are in the References section.

On Kino

“If she is standing there talking to you, just continue escalating. Always assume that it's on. This is also the best way to improve your calibration. Once your dynamic calibration is accurate, all of your escalations will happen smoothly, which is the long-term goal in building your skill set.”

Some forms of kino include:

• Arm in arm

• Hands touching

• Embracing from behind

• Kissing lips

• Kissing or nibbling on neck

• Hand on knee

• Sitting on lap

• Arm around waist

• Touching face

• Smelling or pulling hair

• Hand on ass

Don't be tentative and wimpy about touching—be natural and confident. Touching (guys and girls) is one way that alpha males like you demonstrate their dominance.

MRP Note: You should be doing these to your wife normally and naturally. If you’re not, then start doing it. If you are, then continue to do it. BPP mentions in his podcasts (in the sidebar, people) around YouTube being an excellent resource for kino – take some time and do a review. Also, you’ll have to find the right amount of kino, not too much, not too little. Calibrate what you are doing.

Having Solid Game

• Are you a healthy, ambitious, socially comfortable person?

• Do you convey a lack of neediness at all times?

• Have you otherwise demonstrated value via preselection, the leader-of-men switch (social intelligence and social proof), emotional stimulation, frame control, and so on?

• Has she chased and otherwise invested in the interaction?

• Have you been compliance testing? Do you have kino escalation and compliance?

• Does she feel that she has earned your interest? (Have you demonstrated your "growing pair bond" for her, using qualifiers and other IOIs?)

• Have you built comfort and trust, and a sense of connection, over seven hours and several venue changes? Did you use the jealousy plotline so she is sure she wants you?

MRP Note: Look at all of these classic things that you were and were doing when you were dating your wife before you were married. Time to bring this back to basics – if you need to have one thing, let it be Game - https://therationalmale.com/2012/02/23/looks-count/

Freeze-Outs

“If last-minute resistance seems insurmountable, do a freeze-out: Turn on the light, snuff out the candle, check your e-mail, head to the kitchen to make a sandwich, or pull out a checkerboard and challenge her to a game. The power of this is in its sincere delivery. If you were sulking or angry, that would show that you were affected. Just act as if your arousal circuitry has simply been shut off.”

MRP Note: What Mystery is talking about is Outcome Independence. You are independent of the outcome. This is a reminder to be sincere about your outcomes, and to not be butthurt.

Punishment/Reward

You can't do a freeze-out unless she wants your attention in the first place. A takeaway done on someone who cares less isn't a takeaway at all. It only works when you are of value to her. When she says or does something negative, then remove your attention to make her feel lonely. She feels bad and knows she would prefer talking to you. That's why a freeze-out works.

MRP Note: You have to be high SMV in order to be able to do this in the first place. Look at yourself in the mirror. Would you screw you? Now think about what you have to do in order to get higher on the SMV scale.

MRP Summary: I highly recommend reading (and for many of you rereading) the Mystery Method to get an understanding of some of the building blocks of attraction as well as MRP praxeology. A good read for the single, divorced, and married man. Remember, this is a tool in your toolbox.

The Game

Don’t hate the player… Hate the game - Neil Strauss, The Game

Practically The Game is short on tips, but it is long on substance and story, and is a fascinating look into the pickup culture that was going on. If you have not read it, I would definitely recommend purchasing this one.

Here are a few quotes from the book:

“After all, it had only been a month since my workshop with Mystery. I still had a long way to go. It was time for a motherfucking change.”

"The number one characteristic of an alpha male is the smile," he said, beaming an artificial beam. "Smile when you enter a room. As soon as you walk in a club, the game is on. And by smiling, you look like you're together, you're fun, and you're somebody."

"Look at you. You're wearing glasses because your vision sucks. You have a hat on to cover a huge bald spot. You're ghostly white. And you look like you haven't seen the inside of a gym since grade school. You're doing well because you're smart and you're a fast learner. But looks count too. You're Style, so start being Style. Just snap: shave your head, get Lasik, join a gym."

I also found his credits to be highly amusing:

“Thanks to Britney Spears, who also got married. Twice. And to Tom Cruise, who recently announced his engagement and wasn't afraid to proclaim his love from the rooftops. Every time I have to make a tough decision, I ask myself: "What would Tom Cruise do?" Then I jump up and down on the couch.

Take some time and enjoy the read – it has a lot of classic stuff in it. And now you know how to make tough decisions like Tom Cruise (man, that was a while ago… but still funny).

Rules of the Game

The goal of this book was for the reader to get a date within 30 days. Through a series of 30 missions/challenges, the reader should have changed himself and approached enough women to have a date.

From a married perspective – you guys should be old pros at this! I mean, come on… this is Married Red Pill, after all. And yet even more so than The Mystery Method, there are so many good reminders and tips here that it is worth a read and review. Perhaps you have become complacent in your marriage, or you never really had the next level to your Game – regardless, take some time to go through this and remind yourself on Game.

Looking at the sections below, these are the areas that I believe would be most impactful for the married man. Feel free to read the book and comment below.

Day 1 – Mission 1 – Evaluate Yourself

As discussed in this post - https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/77mf7f/purpose_the_rules_of_the_gameway_of_the_superior/ - you need to evaluate yourself and where you stand.

Fitness programs require you to weigh in on the first day. Financial plans ask for a list of your assets and debts. So to revamp your social life, you'll need to make a social assessment of yourself.

Your first mission is to write answers to the following questions. Don't worry about what anyone else will think of your answers. Your goal is to be as honest with yourself as possible.

  1. Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you.

  2. Write one or two sentences describing how you'd like to be perceived by others.

  3. List three of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change.

  4. List three new behaviors or characteristics you would like to adopt.

Day 2 – Mission 1 – Set Your Goals

What is your personal mission? (fill out the following statement)

I will become (MY ROLE, maximum four words) who will (MY CLAIM TO FAME, maximum four words) within (NUMBER) days/weeks/years.

Day 3 – Briefing - Vocal Training

Here we learn about the basics – breath and posture. Breathing deeply (but not too deeply) allows you to give full power to your words. Having bad posture prevents you from breathing correctly. He mentions imagining a string pulling to the top of your head – but be relaxed about it. He also discusses the issues with speaking with a low voice, speaking too quickly, brain farts, monotone voice, and statements that sound like a question (hint, you need to end your statements conclusively). I was in a public speaking class earlier this year, and one of the things that people tend to do is say the word “um” when they are nervous and presenting. Slow down. Gather your thoughts. Relax and focus. Don’t say the word “um”.

Take a look at Private Man’s page (may he rest in peace) on voice - https://archive.fo/1TtEB - for some more details on this.

Day 4 – Mission 1 - Hit the Showers

For this mission, the key takeways are to be well groomed – shower, shampoo, and soap (similar to the 3 R’s of the manosphere, or the 3 M’s of cocktails). Smell good – mouthwash, cologne, etc. Shave your face clean (minus the beard – we don’t touch the beard at MRP). Clean the hairs around your ears, nostrils, and the back of your neck. Once you’re done – suit up (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT_vf5ioXXk ) , look in the mirror, and remind yourself how awesome you are.

Day 4 – Mission 3 – Stand Up Straight

“Before you even open your mouth, a woman has formed an initial impression of you. And that impression is based largely on your body language.”

Men, this is very important. Game STARTS before you even open your mouth.

One of the key areas is posture.

This mission has you standing with your back against a wall. Make sure your heels, butt, and shoulders are touching the wall. Additionally, the back of your head just above the level of your chin should be against the wall as well.

Stay here for one minute. Reach behind your back and check to make sure there isn't too much space between your lower back and the wall. If there is, tighten your abdomen to bring the small of your hack closer to the wall.

Now move away from the wall, and walk around the room for a minute without changing your posture, Commit the position and alignment of your body to memory.

Repeat this at least once a day.

There is also a post on the sidebar about this - https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3qkonn/lets_talk_body_language/

Day 5 – Mission 2 – Make a Change

Style says – “The first step to better looks is better grooming. The second is committing to the right style.

Go to the clothing store—preferably when it's least likely to be crowded—and speak to the saleswoman who seems the most helpful. Tell her you want to change your style, and ask her to put together a complete outfit for you. If she wants you to be more specific, tell her you're going to a high-profile fashion show, art opening, movie premiere, trendy club, or whatever imaginary event best suits the new you.”

Make a change in your outfits. Now realistically, I’m speaking to a more mature audience here – we all have clothes at this point in time in our lives (if not, time to up your career game).

But let me ask you this – how many of you have wives who pick out their outfits for them? Yeah, I’m looking at you, Mr. Fixer Upper. Are you in your wife’s frame again? Yeah, I thought so. Go and make a change in your outfits. You do it, not your wife.

It’s like it’s on the sidebar - https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/45yz3l/60_dod_week_4_style/

Day 5 – Grooming Checklist

Here are items that you should consider when you are grooming yourself:

Change your hairstyle; Ditch the glasses; Get tan; Get a manicure and pedicure; Remove excess hair; Examine yourself closely in a mirror; Manage your eyebrows; Whiten your teeth; Freshen your breath; Get free dermatology advice (department store beautician); Accessorize; Join a Gym (MRP Note: LIFT); Eat healthier; and Make sure your clothes fit.

The only thing I would mention here is the tanning and the risks of skin cancer. Get some sun, but don’t be stupid about it.

It’s like it’s on the sidebar… again - https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/44liif/60_dod_week_3_hygiene/

Day 6 – Mission 3 – The 8 Hour Rule

This is a mere sentence where Style states that you need to get 8 hours of sleep for the following day’s mission, and yet sleep itself is an underrated part of everyone’s MAP. Yes, pussies sleep, while Men wish for sleep. And of course, Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep – he waits. But in all seriousness, sleep has so much regenerative help on everything that it should be a key part of your MAP. Sleep helps reduce cortisol, the stress hormone, along with affecting testosterone production. And if you snore for many years, you’re at risk to get Alzheimer’s when you are older (since not enough oxygen is getting to your brain for years). Consider getting your recommended amount of sleep – it has effects on your attitude, and thus your game.

Day 6 – Abolish Approach Anxiety. The limiting mind and the freedom mind

There is a great discussion here on the limiting mind, the freedom mind, and how you have to identify your limiting mind and awaken your freedom mind. “Most fears and limits we have are the result not of nature but of nurture. We place limits on ourselves as the result of negative experiences from our childhood and the influence of authority figures.”

“The first step on most roads to recovery is acceptance—admitting that there's a problem. The second step in overcoming the source of our anxiety is to bring it out of unconscious darkness and into the light of our conscious awareness. Only then can we begin to dismantle it, see how it works, and create procedures to nullify it.” This section talks about positive scripts to give to your mind frequently to overcome, preserver, and succeed. Additionally, there are several good points around ‘letting go of outcomes’ – think about what it would be like if you were in a sexless marriage, you’re starting to turn yourself around, and you’ve heard of this funky thing called ‘Outcome Independence’ – you have to let go of the outcomes.

Style also mentions how important it is to remove failure from your vocabulary. He mentions a famous Michael Jordan quote – “I've missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I've lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Honestly, you have to have a spine as well - https://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2015/02/15/the-sexiest-part-of-a-mans-body/

Day 7 – A Field Guide to Openers

There is a quote here mentioned again that is worth repeating due to its importance - “The game begins before you open your mouth.”

In this mission, Style mentions Chris Rock, and his routine where anything that a man says to a woman translates as “How about some dick?” If you barrage a woman with generic questions, what she hears is “How about some dick?” Offer to buy her a drink, she hears “How about some dick?” Introduce yourself, comment on her necklace, ask for the time, “How about some dick?”

Now consider this from a married game perspective. Yes, you should game your wife. Can you go overboard? Absolutely. Do not let everything that comes out of your mouth translate as “How about some dick?” You have to mix it up – balancing sexual and non-sexual fun.

Don’t be like this: “How was your day?” “Ok. Yours?” “Ok.”. Also, don’t be like this: “Want some dick? Dick? How about some dick?” For a vast majority of us, that’s not going to work.

Day 9 – Briefing – The Fourteen Laws of Learning

These fourteen laws are mentioned:

• Acquire and apply knowledge in small chunks

• There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback

• It’s never her fault

• Learn actively rather than passively

• Don’t rehearse negative outcomes

• Understand how your mind learns

• Be willing to go through the pain period

• Don’t look to friends or family for approval

• Be willing to test new ideas, even if they don’t seem logical

• Once something works, figure out how and why it works

• If you don’t know what to do, don’t leave

• Hang around someone better than yourself

• Make sure your ratio of efforts to results is increasing

• Finish what you begin

This is like a guide to your MAP, and can apply to everything, not just game. Take some time and really look at these, and see how they reflect in your MAP. “It’s never her fault” – No, of course not – it’s your fault! “There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback” – Damn, are you butthurt again? FEEDBACK! This is a very deep section (yet simple), so take some time to really think about these items and how they affect both your game and your MAP.

Day 10 – Briefing – The Power of Disqualification

“One of the quickest and most playful ways to accomplish this is through disqualification. To disqualify a woman, demonstrate early in an interaction that you're not interested in her. Exert though you may he chasing her, disqualification turns the tables and makes her want to chase you. For example, telling a woman with blonde hair that for some reason you've only dated brunettes disqualifies her as a potential girlfriend.”

Now since you’re married, disqualifying someone is a bit different than dating – telling your wife that you only dated brunettes before isn’t going to get you that far. Style mentions though that they are the bedrock of flirting. They’re supposed to be playful. A disqualifier should never be hostile, critical, judgmental, or condescending.

MRP Example: Your wife is getting ready for your date night (fool, every night is date night, hard mode remember), and she asks you teasingly “I think this skirt is too short, what do you think?” Your response should be “You’re right, way too short – WAAAAY too short” while leering at her.

It’s easy – flirt with your wife. Game her!

Some examples include:

• Saving her from you

• Giving yourself a monetary value

• Go over the top

• Reversing the roles

• Employ her

• Be the snob

• Be the authority figure

• Challenge her

And so forth…

Day 13 – Mission 3 – Borrow some Culture

Style suggests picking up a copy of a local events guide – this can be a free weekly newspaper, a magazine-style going out guide, a daily paper, or even a local Zagat guide to restaurants.

Read up, become interesting again. There’s also a recommendation to read a Cosmopolitan magazine in the following mission – just don’t – you are not desperate. You have NOT sunk that low. I don’t care how low you think you are, you’re not there.

Midpoint Coaching Session

“What you get out of something is equal to what you put into it.” – Neil Strauss, The Game

He mentions this quote, and it doesn’t just apply to game, it applies to life. Every single thing that I have done that was worthwhile I worked hard at, and I truly got more out of it the more I put into it. Work, career, graduate school, sex… the list goes on.

THE SAME THING GOES FOR GAME! What he is saying here is that you need to spend time learning how to game – what you get out of it is the same as what you put into it. The same thing also goes for your work here at MRP.

Day 16 – Mission 1 – The Missing Link

This has a fascinating section about the missing link:

“The guy who fails at the game is the one who goes out looking for women to make him feel good about himself. The guy who succeeds at the game is the one who goes out and makes other people feel good about themselves.”

I remember a long time ago reading an article about a woman meeting up with a pickup artist – and afterward, she made the same comment. The pickup artist didn’t do slimy tricks, he just made other people feel good about themselves.

Think about that missing link and how it applies to your wives. I would even add there there’s something more to it than that. The guy who succeeds at the game first knows himself and has built himself up into a confident, positive, masculine Man. THEN as they game, they make their wife feel good about themselves.

Day 21 Briefing – Worksheet

There is an excellent section on the anatomy of attraction - Open, Demonstrate Value, Create an Emotional Connection, Structure a Call to Action, and Make a Physical Connection. This is back to basics 101 here. Open – Meet up with your wife. Demonstrate Value – Show her how valuable you are (you do lift, don’t you). Create an Emotional Connection – Show her how you two are bonded, do something fun, give her the feelz! (http://archive.is/rZ7DN ). Structure a Call to Action – Give her an incentive to sleep with you. Arouse her with your touch or talk. Make a Physical Connection – Avoid mistakes that will cause her to change her mind (aka beta behavior, validation seeking, submissive “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” behavior), and don’t make her feel used or any other negative autopilot response.

Day 22 – Mission 2 – Constructive Reframing

This mission is about reframing something negative into something positive. “When you hear a friend, colleague, or stranger complain or say something negative, try to reframe it into something positive. For example, if a friend says that he's incompetent at something, tell him that he just likes to do things perfectly. If someone says, “My girlfriend is driving me crazy”, respond, “Why do you think she nags? It’s only because she cares. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t nag.”

This is an excellent mission on seeing the positive. Are you still butthurt? Are you lost in the anger phase? Try reframing one item per day – call it frame practice if you must.

Even more interestingly, try it on your wife! Be unfailingly positive!

Day 22 – Mission 3 – Flirtatious Reframing

This mission is a choice – you can either choose to reframe an accident into an intention (example: if you are in a bar, and someone bumps into you, you jokingly say “Did you just grope me? You know, I’m not that easy – I require dinner and a movie first.”), or you can reframe kindness into self-interest (example: go to a store and ask for advice on a good CD to play. When they suggest a CD, teasingly accuse her of being paid to say it. "You really think I should get that CD? He you're not getting a kickback from the record label, are you?”

When applied to the married lens, this mission is fairly easy. Just have your wife bump into you and tease her unmercifully. Or if she says “Wow, you changed the sheets”, you say “Yep, I did that on purpose – we’re going to get them dirty tonight” with a smirk.

Gaming your wife should be easy.

Day 22 – Briefing – Changing The Frame

This briefing focuses on four specific reframing techniques (from Slight of Mouth by Robert Dilts): Changing Frame Size, Context Reframing, Content Reframing, and Reframing Critics and Criticism. I highly recommend reading this section as it complements other articles on frame.

Style does mention that the more you learn about frames, the more flexibility, fun, and success you’ll have in your social AND professional life, and to keep in mind the following three things:

  1. Always keep a strong frame. Have her meet you in your reality.

  2. Reframing is the key to both persuasion and flirtation. “It gives you control of a conversation, with the ability to redirect it somewhere humorous, positive, exciting, or, at the right time, sexual. Practice it as much as you can, and not only will you become more successful with women, you'll become a more talented speaker and better-rounded thinker as well.”

  3. Use these techniques in moderation, and don’t become obsessed with controlling the frame in every interaction all the time. Sometimes surrender can be victory.

That last point is very important. You can hear FRAME FRAME FRAME so many times that you become obsessed with it. Moderate and calibrate your use of controlling the frame.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill.

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Post Information
Title Back to Basics – Mystery Method, The Game, and the Rules of the Game, Married Edition
Author SteelSharpensSteel
Upvotes 106
Comments 32
Date November 2, 2017 8:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/back-to-basics-mystery-method-the-game-and-the.198363
https://theredarchive.com/post/198363
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7aeibr/back_to_basics_mystery_method_the_game_and_the/
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[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Day 23 – Briefing – The Engine of Yes – A Book Report

Here are the six key psychological principles of persuasion mentioned: Social Proof, Liking, Reciprocation, Commitment and Consistency, Authority, Scarcity, from the book The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert B. Cialdini. Style even notes that these are powerful principles, and should be used to appeal to the better side of people, and not their weaknesses – so fair warning.

Social Proof – It is the principle of majority rule: if lots of people are doing it, others tend to believe it is the right thing to do. It is more powerful when the people we observe are people we relate to or are just like ourselves.

Liking – This states that we are more inclined to agree to the requests of someone we know and like. How do you make someone like you? Items like similar fashion style, background, interests, giving complements, being physically attractive, or being repeatedly in contact with. The interesting part if that if you surround yourself with success, your public prestige will rise.

Reciprocation – This states that if people do something for us, we feel obliged to pay them back. Even people who we might dislike can greatly increase the chance that we will do what they wish merely by providing us with a small favor prior to their requests. A interesting follow up – he mentions that in order to get someone to agree to a small request, a good tactic is to start by making a large request that he or she is likely to turn down.

Commitment and Consistency – When people make up their mind about something, they tend not to change it – especially if they back it up with action or a statement (politics, anyone?). They mention lots of corollaries here: people often observe their actions in order to determine their beliefs instead of letting their beliefs guide their actions; if you can get people to commit to buy something, but the price rises or the rules change before they have a chance to purchase it, they will still want it; and to get people to commit to a large purchase, have them first make a small, inconsequential one.

Authority - This principle states that we tend to be obedient to authority figures, even when their wishes make no sense or conflict with our personal beliefs. Some symbols include professional titles, uniforms or formal attire, expensive status symbols, and commanding or convincing speaking voices.

Scarcity – This states that people perceive things that are rare, or becoming rare, as more valuable than they would if they were easily and readily accessible. We also tend to desire objects whose availability is suddenly restricted more than objects that have always been scarce.

Bringing it to the next level – It is stated that the most powerful motivators occur when you have multiple principles of persuasion occurring at the same time.

MRP Thought – Consider these items and how they apply to yourself as you practice game. Make yourself scarce. Become the alpha and authority, and stop being a drunk or absent captain. Ask for a large request in order to get a small request. Do favors. There are plenty of examples - these are part of your toolbox and game.

Day 24 – Mission 1 – Be The Party

This mission should absolutely reinforce that one of the biggest mistakes that men make with women when trying to make plans is not having a plan in the first place. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” ANYMORE! Additionally, don’t invite yourself to your wife’s frame/events. “A better frame to have is that perhaps she's not getting everything she wants from her life and is hoping to step into someone else's exciting world. And that world just happens to be yours… If you can build a positive, exciting orbit of people, places, and things around yourself, one that other people respect and want to be a part of, you will meet and attract women automatically.”

Take that last sentence and apply it to your life. You must be the party – build your life, your frame.

Day 28 – Briefing – Calibration

There are only three things you need to perfect in order to master the art of attracting women:

• Who you are

• What you do

• When and how you do it

“Technically speaking, calibration is the act of adjusting or correcting the accuracy of a measuring instrument, usually through determining its deviation from a standard. In terms of attraction, the definition remains the same - but the measuring instrument is you and the standard is her."

There is a great analogy here around playing an instrument, and how you have to calibrate it. I won’t spoil it for you, but when calibrating your wife, you have to read her, and change your behavior appropriately. You never should over-calibrate or worry too much about every small sign your wife gives you. It is also mentioned that to master calibration, get feedback.

Day 29 – Briefing – The LAS VEGAS System

This has a great system here on what to focus on for your game and MAP.

“Rate yourself in each of the qualities below on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is completely deficient in the trait, 5 is average, and 10 is perfect. Judge yourself not as you see yourself but as you believe others see you. Try to be as honest and realistic as possible. Write your answers in the spaces below.”

• Looks

• Adaptability

• Strength

• Value

• Emotional connection

• Goals

• Authenticity

• Self-Worth

L.A.S. V.E.G.A.S. score (total points divided by 8)

He mentions that your long term mission is to boost your LAS VEGAS score.

Day 30 – Mission 3 – Commit to Greatness

There is a call out in this mission that mentions the following: “Look at how much you improved in a month. Now just imagine the results you could get if you committed to the game for another month, two months, three.”

Imagine stepping up your game with your wife for six months, a year, two years… Wouldn’t that be something…

Day 30 – Mission 4 – Into the Looking Glass

Look at yourself in the mirror.

Who do you see?

“If you don't love, value, and appreciate the guy looking back at you in the mirror, then it's time to change your lenses. I'm not going to ask you to see your true self in the mirror, few of us have that kind of perspective. But instead of seeing the old you in the looking glass, try seeing the person you're becoming. You're going to like him a lot more.”

Remember, perception is reality. And when you see yourself as a guy who's socially awkward, you'll act that way and others will treat you that way—no matter what your external appearance and value may be.

But when you see the fun, positive, confident, graceful, socially savvy person you're becoming in the mirror, and consequently start seeing the world through his eyes, people will respond a lot differently to you—because you've just fought the hardest battle and won. You beat your old programming.”

Discussion on Game, Timing and Map

It is also important to know when to game and when not to game. Yes, gaming your wife should be part of your MAP. However, if you are deep in the throes of receiving divorce and your spouse hates you, perhaps acting like Joey Tribbiani from Friends is not the best option. Yes, you have a sparring partner, but if she’s not there to spar, it’s not worth it. Conversely, if she’s tossing shit tests at you and you knock them out of the park with a smirk and some kino/ass grab, it’s game on. In general, I feel that men have a harder time reading women, and overestimate how “into” them the women are. Calibrate yourself and your intentions, and get some feedback when you do it.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Summary

There were two main takeaways that I personally got from rereading these books. The first one is the importance of game. Not only how important it is, but how to do it. This is not a heyday to the glory days, but rather a solid reminder around Game, the SMP, and how to game your wife.

This is back to basics, people. Kino, being interesting, being awesome, having fun, push/pull with your wife... all of these items. Your goal is to be fun, interesting, and to have a good time – draw your wife into your frame. Initiate, Isolate, Escalate - http://marriedmansexlife.com/take-the-red-pill/instigate-isolate-and-escalate/ .

The second one, and to me, far more important, was that it is VERY EASY TO BECOME COMPLACENT!

“We want to relax. We want to be open and honest. We want to have a safe haven in which struggle has no place, where we gain strength and rest instead of having it pulled from us. We want to stop being on guard all the time, and have a chance to simply be with someone who can understand our basic humanity without begrudging it. To stop fighting, to stop playing the game, just for a while.

We want to, so badly.

If we do, we soon are no longer able to.” from Of Love and War - https://therationalmale.com/2012/09/11/of-love-and-war/

It’s very easy to sit down and fiddle on our smartphones, to make the easy choices of fast food over something healthy, to stop playing the game because we feel that we DESERVE a break. I mean, come on, we’re married now. Can’t I just relax?

No.

No you can’t.

You don’t deserve anything.

“For Men, there is no true rest from performance.” – from https://therationalmale.com/2014/09/23/the-burden-of-performance/

“Men are expected to perform. To be successful, to get the girl, to live a good life, men must do. Whether it’s riding wheelies down the street on your bicycle to get that cute girl’s attention or to get a doctorate degree to ensure your personal success and your future family’s, Men must perform. Women’s arousal, attraction, desire and love are rooted in that conditional performance. The degree to which that performance meets or exceeds expectations is certainly subjective, and the ease with which you can perform is also an issue, but perform you must.” – from https://therationalmale.com/2013/10/08/love-story/

You know what is even more bitter? That some husbands deserve sex more than others. https://thefamilyalpha.com/2015/12/02/some-husbands-deserve-sex-more-than-others/

It’s so easy to take the safe road, instead of the harder but more fulfilling road. To take the pre-made Costco Golden Margarita Mix instead of making the margarita yourself - https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/74pq6n/cocktail_game/ .

If you are unplugged, this is reality. It’s a hard road.

To close out, I will only say this: A.B.G. – Always Be Gaming. Always. Be. Gaming. “A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention: Do I have your attention? Interest: Are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's f--k or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision: Have you made your decision for Christ?! And Action. A-I-D-A. Get out there!”

Always Be Gaming.

Welcome to hard mode. Coffee is for closers. Third place is you’re fired. Now get to work and start gaming your wife. And remember – have some fun with it.

Post below your comments on game, the Mystery Method/The Game/The Rules of the Game, and how these books have changed your life, as well as any stories or tips you have on game (married and in general). I have included multiple references on game, frame, and other topics.

References

References – Mystery Method/The Game/Rules of the Game

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2645fm/open_attract_comfort_seduce_the_relevant_remnants/

https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Guide_to_Social_Activity/Seduction

http://www.dallaspua.com/files/Style_Life/SL_Primer.pdf

References – Frame

https://therationalmale.com/category/iron-rules/

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/62awdg/a_practical_guide_to_building_frame/

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/337uvx/the_elements_of_frame_0_introduction/

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/33t792/the_elements_of_frame_1_physical_basis/

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/35tzkz/the_elements_of_frame_2_intellectual_basis/

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/420fuh/the_elements_of_frame_3_emotional_basis/

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/49o3rt/practicing_frame_control_for_dummies/

http://www.returnofkings.com/29943/the-essence-of-frame-control

https://rianstonept.blogspot.ca/2017/10/speech-v4.html (frame section)

References – Complacency

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/64ibgi/lets_define_hard_mode/

https://thefamilyalpha.com/2016/10/25/stop-being-a-clown/

References – Married Game

https://thefamilyalpha.com/2016/07/19/masculine-moves/

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5ttgz3/married_game_if_youre_not_flirting_withgaming/

https://therationalmale.com/2012/04/23/relationship-game-wife-sex/

https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2013/09/26/if-it-isnt-fun-you-probably-arent-doing-it-right/

https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/game-resources-for-marriage/

https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/gaming-your-wife/

Essentially the second half of MMSLP.

References – Glenngarry Ross

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4PE2hSqVnk <-- video version of speech

http://www.whysanity.net/monos/ggr2.html <-- transcript of speech

Reference – The Most Valuable Link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

[–]PilledWhiteHat8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

As I read Day 9: "Aquire and apply knowledge in small chunks"

I thought to myself, "Shit, I can't even remember the beginning of this post."

Saving this post to revisit. I can't digest it all in one sitting.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Once I started writing, I couldn't stop. :)

[–]PilledWhiteHat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't blame you, great stuff man!

[–]resolutions316!!CAUTION!! Runaway bus potentially ahead2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's one of the best feelings.

[–]RPTA34983 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Impressive, you found the limit for characters in a post.

On a real note, it is crazy well it aligns with redpill just in different lingo. It's been probably 5-6 years since I read both books and it is still as applicable as ever. Thanks for the reminder.

Also, I think you really hit the nail on the head with the summary and how the work never ends as we see in The Game how Mystery becomes fucking pathetic after being the king. Can't stop, won't stop.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Bravo. Well done. Mystery Method and The Game were the books that pushed me out there to start conversing and flirting with women. Haven't even heard of The Rules of the Game, on reading list now. I first started trying to use some of the routines from The Game and Mystery's website. Because of being a beginner and the fact that it was a routine, I couldn't slip them seamlessly into conversation and crashed and burned hilariously sometimes.

Often when I succeed, it happens with a simple opener: "Hey how's it going?" Followed by a comment relevant to the situation. Start exploring threads until I can make statements (not questions) about them, to themselves: "Oh so you're a party girl." And then tease hard and often. Recent lessons have been to kino when the mood rises (she laughs, she shows an IOI, we connect) and open the non-target first (sit down between older woman and hot chick at airport, open older woman to show disinterest in chick then seamlessly turn to chick in a lull in conversation or if woman leaves). Of course this is balanced, as mystery says, with their attractiveNess where a 9-10 may need three negs/indicators of disinterest, a 7-8 maybe 1, and 6-7 none.

I struggle with, as Zan Perrion puts it, speaking with that lower energy. And it really does viscerally feel like a lower body (sexual) energy when I do speak from it. It's conversation that has the sexual message within it. Maybe it's a little more risky or flirtatious but it has a direct connection to your intentions and desires that upper energy conversations don't have. This is often needed much more and more quickly with night game, as night venues often don't have an environment conducive to talking to open.

But there's tens of variables and the best advice always is to get out and experiment. That way you can feel in the moment the different situations and say to yourself "ah that was me negging" or "that was an IOI from her" or "that would have been a great moment to (insert technique here)". Experience is going to pave the way to internalization. Great post.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Have you ever run the Cube? It's almost like cold reading the psychics do, but mixed with "dream interpretation" bullshit.

When done right, you can converse with just about any woman for 20+ minutes about herself without her even knowing.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

It's my #1 routine. I still do it. Add some irony, and even if someone has heard of it, they can play along

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I knew mention of the cube would bring you out.

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

What can I say? In a meeting with Microsoft, and totally ignoring it to think about what horse I like?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Sounds boring. Maybe entertain yourself with something out a nearby window. Some flowers maybe? A storm blowing in?

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Top of the ladder. Flowers spread out all over the place, and a horse with nice tits. I sit by the window and wish I could play in the rain, though my clothes shouldn't get dirty...

Lets fuck

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Subconsciously, you just said you want lots of kids. :)

[–]Rian_StoneHard Core Navy Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

ASD engaged

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Bitch shields at full power, Capt'n!"

[–]Red-Curious2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting. I've never heard of the cube, but after reading up on it, I'm reminded of the way I used to experiment on people (and occasionally still do). One of the examples that would get positive responses (as opposed to the many things I tried that didn't) would go something like this:

  • Intro: I approach someone on an innocuous issue. It might be, "Nice shoes," or "Can you hand me that?" or "Hey, did you just see that guy do ___?" For the sake of example, let's say I start with, "Nice weather." Her reply doesn't matter. Maybe she says, "Not really, I don't like snow."

  • Random Assertion: I say something random out of context as a categorizing statement ... let's go with: It's just like the Cuban bananas thing. She gives a weird look and says, "That seems ... random" or "I've never heard of that."

  • Pressure-Flip: For a split second I sound autist, but my confidence demands a different conclusion, and I flip the pressure on her to make her feel like the weird one for not understanding: Huh, that's weird ... why do you think that was random? I keep pressure flipping until she gives the inevitable answer: "Well, we were talking about the weather and then you said something about Cuba and bananas, and I don't get it."

  • Interest Flip: I respond: Interesting. You've got my attention now. Give me your best guess [as if it was her trying to get my attention rather than the other way around]. She makes up something about how maybe the weather in Cuba has chemicals in the rain that would cause Cuba to grow weird bananas and that must be what I was talking about.

  • Unsolicited Disclosures: Whatever her answer is, I point out how ridiculous it is: That's ridiculous. Why would the weather in Cuba cause bananas to grow any differently there than anywhere else? Then I highlight something she said and connect it to her personally. Ex. 1: I mean, are you some kind of chemical botanist? or It's interesting that you mentioned rain; I never said rain. Do you have some kind of a rain obsession? Whatever it is, it's obvious that the answer is no, but the question is designed to make her seem like the weird one and get defensive, then reveal a truth about herself to correct my bizarre accusation without me ever directly asking her for that information.

  • Loop for More: I keep up a cycle of asking these types of questions, refusing to allow the conversation to follow predictable patterns, always revolving around the one random statement that she can't figure out. After a while, she's totally confused about what I'm talking about, but the confidence with which I'm talking makes her think that I must be making perfect sense and it's just her that doesn't get it, adding to the mystery.

  • The Ta-Da: Whenever I'm ready, I stop and say, You know, this has been an interesting conversation, but you don't have to try so hard. She's all like, "What are you talking about?" I say, I just commented on the weather and you start telling me your whole life story ... how you work as an interior designer for a home remodeling company and you love going running in the rain and your sister visited Cuba a year ago and you were jealous that you couldn't join her, etc. She's vaguely impressed that I had learned so much about her and she knows nothing about me. Sometimes I'd get a light punch me in the arm out of playful enjoyment at having met a guy who could dupe her with a fun little game, displaying my dominance of the conversation and intellectual value/cleverness at keeping her going.

  • Epilogue: Sometimes she'd not get it right away and assume the Cuban bananas line really did mean something and would ask about it at the end. I simply say, Hey now, I just made that up to see what you'd say and you practically threw yourself at me. I'm not that easy, you know. Since I'm more of a catch-and-release guy, the two times I've tried this routine since finding RP I've also ended with making a joke about my wife finding out some stranger is hitting on me and how she must have some serious balls to hit on a married man and that I'm not into people with balls anyway. She points out she had no way of knowing, and I just laugh it off with, It was nice to meet you, but I've gotta get going.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I see the DHV on it but getting into it, transitioning from it, and being authentic in it is troublesome. It's like if she'd say "what does that mean" and in my head I'm thinking "fuck if I know, I'm just going through the motions here." The ability to execute, i imagine, has something to do with having real interest in what you're doing. For example, though I haven't tried it yet, Ive looked up palm reading because for some reason that interests me. That and Mystery's pick a number 1-4 game, which I have used and has worked.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If a girl is really into you, and I've done this, you A&A the "what does this mean" question or simply get a giggle from ending the interview.

Her - "What does it mean?"

You - "Fuck if I know, I just enjoyed sitting here and watching you forget about your day and have fun."

or

You - "What DOES it mean? Your answer is the most unique I've ever heard, I'll have to look at my DSM-V, but you're pretty fucked up."

It's great for isolation and immersion. Getting a quick one-on-one, and making your target feel special.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honest and effective. Nice.

[–]mountainbiker1781 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Cube

Do you have a favorite link referencing the 'Cube'? I just tried searching and I got a ton of seemingly unrelated posts.

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Google "PUA Cube" without quotes. Watch Strauss do it on YouTube.

[–]mountainbiker1781 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sweet! Thanks.

[–]resolutions316!!CAUTION!! Runaway bus potentially ahead3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Incredibly high value post. Thanks so much for putting this altogether.

Mystery gets a bad rap (by myself included) because of how over the top he could be. The core of the stuff in here is extremely solid, and useful, though.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Frame". It does a man good.

[–]Red-Curious2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Fantastic post. And I thought I was long-winded!

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This one took me just under a month in the evenings. :)

Lot of referencing and re-referencing. These books were a staple back in when I had my crazy dating period.

[–]Red-Curious1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dang! A month to write a post? That's insane. Longest I've spent is probably 2 hours :p You're making me feel lazy.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My next one will probably be a two parter - risk and finding a wife, and risk and marriage. Already have a outline in my head... it's the referencing that will be tough.

[–]mountainbiker1781 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is such an amazing resource! Thank you so much. I'm definitely going to add those books to my reading list.

[–]Piediver-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read the sidebar pretty much...

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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