I've been considering the purported benefits of NoFap and how it might be in conflict with the benefits of Catch and Release, particularly regarding Married Red Pill and guys that are past the initial stages. The effect of excessive sexual stimulus (including but not exclusively porn) on normal dopamine function has been well documented. The user experiences high and lows, where they are constantly seeking the next hit, and the tolerance to the drug (dopamine) continually increases. The effect is for the man to keep seeking new mates (real or virtual) to get their fix, and as such a reduced desire for their existing mate (known as the Coolidge effect). There is a lot of info on this available in the NoFap forums as well as lots of other resources. This is a very interesting TEDx on the subject, worth the 15 minutes.
Regarding "Catch and Release" and other exercises to build outcome independence (OI) and help guys understand their true SMV, I have no particular qualms with it. In fact, I think it is a fantastic tool to help guys who have been beat down for years (decades?) to realize the true nature of their circumstances and move toward a happier and more fulfilling life (whatever path they ultimately take to get there). The question I have been pondering is whether it is productive (or even counter productive) to "binge" on Catch and Release (or even heavy flirting) for a guy that has already passed the initial MRP/TRP hurdles. If you already have developed a strong sense of OI, you know that you could drop your wife and be just fine, you know that you could find plenty of sexual partners if you wanted them, etc. is it a good idea to expose (or over expose) yourself to the dopamine hits that comes from Catch and Release or heavy flirting? Once you are past the initial RP phases you need to be focusing your energy on building yourself to be the best man possible and giving your wife/relationship the best chance for success.
How many times have we seen guys who have achieved OI, know their SMV is high (meaning higher than his wife), who even go out and game women just for the ego boost, but then come home and expect his wife to have miraculously gotten with the program just because in his own head the guy is the shit? Usually we see questions with statements like "If she doesn't want to put out I can easily..." and "At this point I don't really care." The usual comments from our most astute members is "What have you done to game your wife?".
My concern is that a guy can "overdose" on all of these great dopamine rushes with women outside of his relationship, never giving his wife the proper attention/energy. Why does he need to spend energy gaming his boring old wife when he gets a much greater rush from gaming these women who, for the most part, are as effectively virtual as porn, in that although their tingles might be real, the likelihood of him leaving his marriage and starting a new relationship with the 20 something cashier at Target is unlikely. Just a quick hit for 5 minutes of work vs spending all day being "on" for the woman that actually will have sex with him.
In MRP the benefits of gaming women outside of your marriage often include a generally increased libido, which when you consider the aforementioned dopamine surges that result from novelty makes total sense. My fear is that excessive dopamine rushes from Catch and Release type behavior is potentially causing harm in the long run with the same mechanisms of excessive porn exposure. Perhaps some percentage of guys end up in divorce when they might have had a chance to stay married and be happy if they had spent most of their sexual energy gaming their wife and leading her to be the woman you need her to be. Of course, this is not to say that divorce isn't the best option in some cases. Every situation is unique, and MRP doesn't promise to save your marriage, just to improve you life. But, in most cases I would wager that a guys preference would be for his relationship with his wife to improve instead of resorting to divorce.
What are your thoughts? Perhaps this concept should be explored further or at least some disclaimers should be there for those new to MRP and the process. Once you are over the initial phases of recognizing your value and developing OI, I think a conscious effort needs to be made to avoid seeking dopamine rushes from women who are not part of your master plan to happiness, as it may ultimately slow or even derail your progress with your wife. To be clear, the concept of Dread stands outside of the behaviors I'm discussing. Generally being a flirty and fun guy is par for the course. I'm talking about actively "hunting" for a hit with Catch and Release type behaviors.
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