A comment in drtypr's recent post brought my thoughts to the permanence and permeance of conditioning. The non-sexual part of RP's idea of "Frame" concerns manipulating the world, rather than the world manipulating you. *Blue pilled guys and newbies: this means eliciting your misogynistic, dark triad monster enough to turn the power dynamic around.
Either my wife is conditioning me or I'm conditioning my wife. There's always give and take, but someone always has more power than the other in a relationship. Because she now looks to me for the status of the relationship, I can be as creative as I want in designing my - and our - life as her benevolent dictator. And it's a ton of fun. I don't have the desire to spin plates at this point, because she is so willing to satisfy me. And ironically, she's more satisfied.
I know. I'm a terrible shitlord.
Here are two ways I've recently conditioned my wife to think of sex more.
Setting the stage: by making sex about myself, I've been less nervous about pleasing her and have been able to all but eliminate my premature ejaculation problem. The result has been much more satisfying sessions for her. Even the quickies have been nice and fulfilling. She thanks me for taking care of her and directing my sexual energy towards her.
Linking: sometimes she gets stressed with her really tough and overwhelming SAHM duties. I have said things like "you just need a good fucking" with a wink and a smirk, or "sounds like a massage is in order tonight". Not pushing the topic, just dropping the line as an afterthought, almost like I don't even take it seriously. But it plants the thought. And she knows its not just a massage.
So, because sex has actually become more satisfying for her, and because I plant the seeds, she now independently asks for sex when she's stressed. Sex has become her go-to therapy. Sex is a mini-vacation, an escape. Remember, women don't want to be responsible. They want to enjoy the ride. Yes, a pun.
Things like DEVI, caveman, coconut massages, and manhandling her are all angles to incorporate.
Are you making sex fun/relaxing/fulfilling/varied enough to be her escape?
Setting the stage: we say that the most important part of DEVI is Dominance. Whether or not you're officially turned on by BDSM, it's a great tool to use for other purposes. Learn some shibari, buy handcuffs, tease her with vibrators, throw her around. Fuck, just spank her and finger her asshole. When you're advanced, you can choke, string up, burn with wax... whatever helps you further explore your role as master.
Linking: let's say she's talking back. Getting out of line. Being harsh with the kids. Gossiping too much. Being petty and emotional. Ignoring you. Berating you. Shit testing you. Flirting with other guys. The offense doesn't even have to affect you. But reminding her (either offhand or directly) of your dominance behind closed doors immediately lets her know she's out of line, and there will be consequences. Fortunately, you both enjoy the "consequences".
So, because rough sex can be used as mock-punishment, she associates her behavior with how I treat her sexually. Sometimes I think she's bratty intentionally, with how fast she goes from testy bitch to blushing kitten.
Are you tying her bad moments to how you dominate her in bed?
Either she's conditioning you...
I can't have sex with a dirty house.
Happy birthday! You get a blowjob!
Why don't you ever just want to cuddle/hang out/talk?
Or you're conditioning her. Which is it?
Don't know about anyone else here, but I like being chased. I don't mind initiating, but when my wife jumps my bones because I've laid the groundwork, I know I've done good.
Disclaimer: to the social autists out there, this isn't an opportunity to become some evil lab scientist pulling strings on a puppet. All of this advice is predicated on the assumption that you are already an awesome, fun, fit leader. This should be something you play with, not a task that the guys over at MRP gave you or a way to conquer the world. It's just fun.