I was coaching a guy recently who said, “[My wife] doesn’t have anything going on in her life, so she just sits at home watching Netflix all day. She just seems to be bored and starts drama with me.”
Women are going to have big emotions, both positive and negative. Since women make decisions based on their emotion at the time, negative emotions justify(in their minds) creating drama. It's in human nature to blame other people for our problems, creating scapegoats, using drama. I hope this post helps some of you minimize the drama, while regaining the frame.
In the absence of an outside enemy, people will get anxious about lack of progress and decide there is an enemy within the group.
So because she's "bored"(doesn't have an enemy outside the home to blame or attack) she chooses you to be the enemy.
Sometimes, she scratches this itch by making the enemy climate change, Trump, or Cersei Lannister. But if she's displeased with something in her life eg not owning a bigger house, she will choose to blame you instead of taking responsibility for the part she plays in that(spending rather than investing, not getting a part time job to add funds, etc). The blue pill and often natural response is to perform and buy a bigger house. Don’t.
Women will use drama to test your frame ie shit test. When you have the frame, you can enjoy and embrace reasonable levels of drama targeted at you(even non playful shit tests). Passing the shit test will increase attraction because the anger part of the brain, in women, is closely connected to the sexual part. After the fact, small levels of drama can also tie her to you emotionally because when the resolution occurs, she has very positive feelings. But intentionally escalating drama can create distractions from your mission, and without adequate frame, it can create very unfavorable, Rambo-type situations.
Redirect her energy.
When initially building frame you want to de-escalate situations or not let them happen at all(STFU, don’t DEER) to keep her from going crazy on you.
Minimize shit tests, while building frame in early stages of dread(1 & 2)...
Encourage her to get out of the house and do something else to focus the drama on someone or something else.
You'll have to decide how and when to do that, but yoga, a part time job, playdates for kids, all accomplish this goal. If she says she wants to do something new, encourage it. You’ll find her coming home to bitch about someone else, and you’ll need to be prepared to listen and validate her drama focused on others, rather than argue or try to fix the problem. She’s probably wrong. The other person isn’t that bad. But the focus of her drama is on the other person, not you. Don’t be her chatty girlfriend and get wrapped up in the drama, but keep energy focused away from you.
Dread Stage 3+. Get out of the house and build your own life. Separating yourself from her minimizes drama because you simply aren’t around for her to attack. But she sees you on missions accomplishing things, so attraction is built. Too much, too soon, can escalate drama because “you aren’t around anymore,” so ease into it. Picking up new hobbies slowly.
I believe strong men with strong frame figured out this drama issue, in the past, and the date night was conceived. Getting her out to see new things and new people helps to distract her from focusing the drama on you.
In recent years, the date night concept has been hijacked and has become another feminine tactic for control. Date night is an entitlement used to further utilize the beta bux side of a man, while dangling the carrot (sex at the end of the night) in front of the horse(the man) as long as he is obedient. Inevitably, it doesn’t work because she isn’t turned on, and sex rarely occurs.
When you don’t have the frame…
Use a date night, not as a night for her to be wined and dined(beta bux), but rather for you to have fun and her see you do it(alpha fucks). She’s still wondering, if you are good enough for her, so increase your value in her eyes. Show her, she is with a strong, confident man. This can work wonders for sexual attraction.
Once you’ve built frame(if you aren’t sure you have it, you don’t)...
The drama will shift from her feeling you aren’t good enough, to her not being good enough. At this point, you wine and dine her, in appropriate amounts. Don’t fall back into the beta bux habits, but use dates to provide comfort(showing her you’ve chosen her). Doing this(once she believes you are a strong confident man) will make her feel that she is, now, valued by a strong, confident man, the dream of every woman.
More advanced red pill men can use drama to their advantage by creating it. I encourage “playful drama” created through sarcasm or pushing her buttons in a playful way. Sometimes, when you have particularly low levels of frame, this can backfire, but generally, it’s well received.
Example: Occasionally, I’ll ask my girl if she plans on “eating that entire meal” with a smirk. When she was young, she had an eating disorder, so this is an emotional trigger for her. But she hasn’t gained a pound since I met her, and she knows I think she has a rockin’ body. She knows I’m pushing her buttons in a playful way. And in an indirect, fun-asshole way, it reminds her that I think she’s attractive, but I’ll have no problem saying something, if she were to let herself go.
Edit: Beginners should not use teasing to create drama. That is not the point of my post. Drama is inevitable, no need to create more. Redirect her energy through activities outside the house rather than blaming her for the drama because she isn’t doing anything besides watching Netflix.