I took an online course on improving relationships from sex therapist Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and was surprised at the amount and depth of RP parallels and I wanted to share what I discovered:
Soulmate Myth - Soulmate fantasy brought to you by Disney, with the underlying promise that the relationship with your soulmate will make you happy. But there is disillusionment after you marry your soulmate. You discover their imperfections and limitations. You also realize they’re not going to take care of you the way you hoped. Soulmate infatuation/puppy love = dopamine, a drive to attach, and the discernment part of your brain is deactivated (viewed under MRI). This system is designed to fail.
RP corollary - Oneitis, now with MRI backup.
Differentiation - Differentiation is what drives attraction. Immaturity is borrowing a sense of self from others, just looking for validation. You have no integrity. The more you need validation, the less likely you are to get it.
RP corollary - Frame. Having a frame makes you a separate entity from your wife, and the borders of your frame give you integrity. Living in her frame means you have no integrity or maturity.
2 desire killers - Validation seeking and neediness.
RP corollary - Beta behaviors make her dry as the Sahara.
The antidote - Develop integrity, validate yourself. Develop the capacity to return love for hate.
RP corollary - Build your frame, be the prize, be your own validation. Returning love for hate is further than RP goes, but I think it’s in line with not acting butthurt.
Choosing your wife - Knowing your spouse and their imperfections, and choosing them anyway. Not because there’s nobody else out there that could be attractive, but because you choose your wife.
RP corollary - An abundance mindset. RP goes further down this road with passive then active dread, but this is in line with gaming and pursuing your wife when she knows you have other options.
Higher vs lower brain - Losing strategy: limbic (lower) brain, flight or fight, protects us from bears. Leads to defensive reactions. Winning strategy: higher brain, acting not reacting.
RP corollary - Not acting butthurt (again), STFU. Acting in line with your frame, not reacting with defensiveness (butthurtness).