[This post] is interesting:(https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/3k3hkk/help_me_build_the_ex_red_pill_dating_guide/)

A subscriber to /r/ExRedPill posts a request to help form an "ExRedPill Dating Guide." What follows is essentially what I would call "regular guy RP," that is, someone who is RP but doesn't subscribe or even know what "TheRedPill" is... he just does things right...

...you know, a natural.

These people are forming a dating guide for how to be a natural. "Don't fake it until you make it the RP way... just do it this way!"

So, they eschew the obvious more negative aspects of TRP (like the Dark Triad (honestly, if you are going so far as to DT a woman... find a different woman. DT takes too much effort and delves into more negative emotions; very un-Stoic.)

I know I'm not alone in this: TRP does post some wacky shit from time to time... it's one of the reasons I like it in here... it seems more personal and the theory tends to be a distillation and conjugation of things we all know and want to say, but seeing it concisely written is helpful. TRP has a lot of post-modern anti-feminist theory that is more conjecture than anything else.

I prefer anecdotes from many people... it helps form an average picture of the landscape ahead.

Here is a compiled list, from one post (I've abridged it a bit)

  • Don't be fat, don't be skinny; lose weight, get muscles
  • You can't change your face... but you can't attract everyone
  • Take a shower and be clean
  • Dress nice and groom nice
  • Work on Improving Yourself (Pretty much MRP's tagline)
  • Be a leader
  • Be strong. Don't be weak. Reserve Emotions
  • Handle your shit
  • Build Rapport through shared experiences (but don't overshare)
  • Be self confident
  • But don't fake confidence; get by achieving things, working out, and improving skills
  • Have non-woman-centered activities and hobbies. Focuis on life goals instead of women. (and don't be needy)
  • Have charisma and be cool to hang around with.

So basically it reads like somebody from TRP/MRP went in there and made this nice, easy to digest list for them full common sense shit we talk about all the time.

They also encourage reading NMMNG, Models, and WOFTSM. So there's that, which is nice. They should add When I Say No I Feel Guilty to the list too.

The first, and top comment contains more no-shit points:

women aren't that much "deeper" than men. Men want good looking women, and women shockingly enough also want good looking men. Too many men over-focus on "game" (or, on the flip side, act complacent and assume "someone will love me for who I am" while not showering)

No shit

Start new friendships, not only with the opposite sex but with the same sex. Just say hi to more people.

seems familiarly correct

DON'T GET SEXUAL IMMEDIATELY.

This is one that is probably prudent for some. Dudes that fuck this up are ones who can't read the cues correctly. I wonder how many guys miss a chance at a girl who may be relationship material because he went for the sex angle so quick while she may have been willing to demonstrate value in a way other than sex. My rule is escalate sexually when she is obviously angling for sexual contact More specifically, be sexually playful (innuendo, double entendre, etc) but don't be overt about it all the time... feel it out; there has to be a gray area between "next" and "slut."

I suppose if all you want is endless ONS this could be a fine

Though, the commenter concedes that being overtly sexual from the get go is fine if you are looking for ONS... so everything I just said is whatever.

Stop with the negging and combative behavior like "I don't care about your schedule, you'll see me on Thursday."

Commenter doesn't understand what "negging" is. BTW, it's supposed to be playful... not combative.

example:

Her: Hey, what are you doing later, after this bar?

Him: I was going to go to to escape this annoying brunette with the cute smile... you should come with me... (insert sly grin with eye twinkle)

*That's negging... insult her as "annoying" but show it's playful because you're really asking her to come along in a direct way. The fuck up is,* you're really annoying, want to go to ?*

There's a middle area between "M'lady you are the most beautiful rose to grace thine Earth" and "Fuck you cunt, you give me a beej or you can say goodbye to my rock hard abs."

yes, there is.

Yes, DON'T put pussy on the pedestal but that doesn't mean you have to act like a complete cad. Women are different from men but not THAT different. We like attractive people who are fun to hang out with- shocker, right?

Well, single women looking for men tend to like Chads cads... it doesn't take pseudo-science to see that.

develop cool interests. Nobody likes talking to the guy whose only topic of conversation is Family Guy quotations.

uh huh.

Men lie, so do women. This doesn't mean women are "manipulative whores", it just means you can't expect 100% pure angel behavior from them all the time, because would you expect that from a man?

An issue I consider all the time within TRP. If a woman is being a manipulative whore... fine, I can talk to any number of people who aren't. I won't even spend time labeling her as such... I simply move on. TRP likes to claim to not be within a woman's frame, but then spends a large amount of time discussing said woman and her shitty behavior. Spending any time on her is an inch in her frame.

Expect that they may like hanging out with you, but they prefer a guy who's more fit. It sounds harsh, but men do it all the time, and it's pretty much obvious when men have those physical tastes.

If you phrase this as:

Expect that they may like being married to you, but they prefer a guy who's more fit. It sounds harsh, but men do it all the time, and it's pretty much obvious when men have those physical tastes.

It changes the tone significantly.

Also, and this one should be obvious but...if you want an LTR, don't spend all your time chasing the classic "blonde sorority party girl."

I think we all know that

I'm not against the daytime approach, as long as it isn't overtly sexual and/or invasive.

Once again, this comes down to propriety and social-literacy. Know when to escalate, and know when to escalate later.

So, it seems, that someones went through RP, took what they liked, eschewed what they didn't, and compiled some lists.

I can't say I disagree with any of it... but it does show that most of what we say is pretty much common sense.

The problem that we run into is that sometimes, a woman doesn't like it once she gets you into an LTR or even worse, a marriage, so she, in covert and passive ways, tries to get you to stop:

  • don't go to the gym tonight... I want to go to
  • who were those people you were talking to? Who's that... your new girlfriend?
  • Why are you wearing cologne? Who are you smelling good for?
  • Why do you spend so much time doing <hobby?> (in more severe ways, you're not even that good at it.)
  • why are you so dressed up? Are you cheating on me? (an actual line I've gotten)
  • I'm tired (4 out of the 5 sexual initiation times)

Granted, most of the tips given in the comments will help alleviate these things (if you were interesting before LTR... then being interesting afterwards isn't a shock) but we all know, we all know that men have a tendency to get complacent and comfortable in LTRs and marriages and shit slips... and when we regain it, she is focused on the changes now... not the changes then (the best ones remember and encourage.)

I had a motive in posting this, so I'll just leave you with this: This ExRedPill sub is simultaneously entertaining, sad, but altogether interesting: people who know about red pill, have tried red pill, stopped red pill, and now are either angry or resistant to it altogether; the collective in there seems to offer more well-rounded opinions than your typical 2XX rage or even the TBP x-posts.

I think it's important to keep your mind open to all arguments; in all things, moderation.

Build, Hobby, and Lift