Stats: late thirties, 6’, 182 lbs, BF 17% (calipers). Married. Multiple children. Weights on track.

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Field Report: Horn's Cheat Codes: Dominance 2, beginner; Variety 15, beginner.

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I was called out in a recent OYS for being afraid to go all in on Horn's Cheat Codes. I have a lot of people in my career field that constantly throw validation and praise my way. In this space, having the tools/practices available and being called on my bullshit and fear was one of the greatest gifts I received.

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I hamstered over and over on Tuesday and Wednesday, letting my fear take over me. On Thursday, I was able to channel that fear into anger/aggressive energy. In words that I have trouble putting down, it literally felt like energy was just pulsing out of me from my core. Maybe my balls dropped, or maybe I was just built up. But this energy was absolutely present. I got in my car to leave work. After a few minutes, I pulled over, and sent a text. "I'm running some errands after work. I want you on your knees tonight, wearing those multicolored yoga pants with your hair up."

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When I got home, it was a typical after work/after school situation. Kids are getting off of the bus, younger kids are either napping or yapping, and my wife is doing a few small tasks for our businesses. Some small talk, but I had a few things I needed to get done. Not to get too stereotypical alpha here, but there was a sense in me that I needed to let this build up even more.

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Activities, dinner, etc. 8pm hits, and it's the older fours' bedtime. We get them tucked in. The two-year-old stays up for about another hour, so I go downstairs and make her a snack plate and put on her favorite show. My wife then comes downstairs, and starts to make herself some popcorn and pour a glass of wine. Up until this point, I've only hard initiated for sex after 11pm. That was my initial plan; go up to bed later, tell her to put the pants on, and blow me. At this point, I didn't want to wait anymore.

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Now, I don't you don't give a shit about my wife, nor should you, but she's a typical SAHM. At night, it's wine-o-clock with some sort of snack that she looks forward to. She's very fit, but she has a hard boundary about people taking her food. She does not share snacks with the kids, me, anyone. So she sits down with her wine and popcorn and starts studying a text for a project she's involved in. And she's eating this bag of Smartpop one. piece. at. a. time. But I'm at the point where I'm near bursting at my seams. And I asked myself, "are you such a pussy that you're going to let a bag of popcorn stand in the way?" It's 8:30pm. I was done waiting.

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So, I went all in. I took her bag of popcorn. And I stood right over her, stared her down, and ate the whole damn bag without saying a word and without ever taking my eyes away from her. And I just mentally pushed myself into her as hard as I possibly could. I don't have any words for how this works, I just did it. I then told her to stand up, and then I carried her upstairs into the bedroom. Locked the door. I didn't want her on her knees anymore. I bent her over the bed, ripped her pants off, and took what I wanted and gave her what she needed. Didn't say a word besides "stand up."

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Prior to this day, I've had awful experiences with not lasting long. I've used sprays and creams, trying some of the David Deida breathing exercises, adjusting angles, switching positions, anything to get a few extra seconds, but I usually just get worked up about performance anxiety and finish in minutes or even seconds. In this instance, for the first time in a while, I had to make an effort to finish. I'm going to say the word "energy" again to rival the "she" statements, but this was on another level. I was both in that moment yet outside of all of the bullshit in my head. For a minute, I even thought about not finishing after her orgasm but changed my mind. Afterward, provided some aftercare, and told her to come downstairs and watch a movie with me. The response was an "OK" in the sweetest, girliest voice I've heard in a while. I should have then told her to make us some popcorn, but didn’t think of that until later. Reset the next day. Today, she's wearing the yoga pants I told her to wear on Thursday.

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I could end this report by saying "Don't care, got popcorn," but in reality, I had some fear that could only be encountered with action. It could have happened a lot sooner. And I realized any road blocks are bullshit. Normally sex wasn't happening until after 11pm...until it did. Normally she cared about the kids hearing us...until she didn't. Regardless of the outcome, I got better, and I'm standing in my own way a little bit less.