Finances Discussion

September 1, 2018
17 upvotes

I recently got a Private Message asking questions about how to get control of the finances. I get a lot of these PM's based on my prior post about Gain Control of The Treasury https://redd.it/588e5o. Since getting your financial house in order is so important, I thought some of you might want to comment to OP too. Since OP is a throwaway account with no history, I copy/pasted his PM to me below, along with my first response to him.


from lesterknight008 sent 12 hours ago

Hi,

Another beta reporting here and trying to take control of his life, in the aim for a better family, wife, and children.

I was reading your reply with great interest regarding the Finances post on MRP and wanted to ask for your thoughts on joint Credit Cards.

I’m the main income earner in the family which I see 80% if my income going to the mortgage, bills, car registration, utilities, insurances, mobile phones, gym memberships, and children schooling and activities.

My wife works casually and she spends her money on food expenses and then the rest goes to her occasional outings (coffee, lunch), buying children toys, etc. She also puts a very small amount into a saving account which isn’t that big (<350) so I feel her as well.

I was considering closing off the joint CC and getting two seperate CC’s in each of our names so they are managed individually. This is because she was using the joint CC for other things and I threatened her that I would close the CC down all together.

She now uses the joint CC for fuel and if there is an emergency. My thoughts on this one are that I use public transport to get to work so I also pay for that as well, meaning that I think she should pay for the fuel at least.

She complains that she doesn’t have enough money. I also complain that I don’t have enough money.

I even considered that she would pay everything that I would pay which would be based on the percentage of her income ie if I pay $100 then she pays $10 as an example across everything (still not sure how this would work and the exact percentages).

Should I keep the status quo so I can at least see how the joint CC is being used or go for the seperate CC’s?

If I go for the seperate CC’s or even consider keeping the one joint CC and having her give me a percentage figure then would this make me appear more beta in her eyes as I’ve turned very tight with money which limits her freedom.

I guess we were both more free before children and now we are locked down as all of our finances are going towards their future.

What are your thoughts on this one?

Thanks,

Lester


[–]to lesterknight008 sent 9 hours ago

A few ideas and points for you. Take what you can use.......

I guess we were both more free before children and now we are locked down as all of our finances are going towards their future

This stood out to me. There is no guarantee that you or your children will live for 20 more years. Be careful of undue (saving) suffering today, for a future that cannot be known.

I threatened her that I would close the CC down all together.

DO not make threats. It is weak. Better to STFU until you are ready to actually do something.

She now uses the joint CC for fuel and if there is an emergency. My thoughts on this one are that I use public transport to get to work so I also pay for that as well, meaning that I think she should pay for the fuel at least.

This sounds like nit picking to me. With the real problem being that you want more money to spend. It seems like you are wanting more for yourself. But if all she is paying for is fuel and emergencies, she isn't wasting your money, your point is the source of finite resources.

Your idea of percentage of expenses based on income, again, just more nit picking. The problem is, and you and she both know this, you can easily manipulate the numbers, so she can't have any money for anything she needs or wants to do, and you get more.

Separate ownership CC is the standard for me. She has a card in her name, and you are an authorized person on it. You have a card in your name, and she is authorized. That way you both build good credit and each have control of your card. The idea that you might not know what she is doing with a card she owns, is absolutely unacceptable....do not allow this.

The sub plot I read in your post is either you are not making enough money to raise the family, or you are saving too much, or both.

One last thing. Having control of the money is necessary if your spouse is wasting our resources. I don't think yours is. If you don't have a wasting problem, then be careful not to lack a generous spirit with your family....don't be cheap.


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Post Information
Title Finances Discussion
Author FireTempered
Upvotes 17
Comments 58
Date September 1, 2018 3:44 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/finances-discussion.197755
https://theredarchive.com/post/197755
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/9c03a9/finances_discussion/
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