After my divorce, I stayed in the marital home. It didn't really bother me, but at the same time it was a lot of space I didn't need.
Last summer I started to look at Bachelor Pads in the downtown areas of Dallas, cause hey - I am a single 40 year old HVM. Might as well get out of suburbia.
After I met Fitchick things went well, and I was less motivated to move. In Nov of last year I invited her and her kids to spend a week with me (she had been spending every day and night with me) to see how it would go. That week turned permanent.
I justified it because there was no "financial cost" to me. I already had the 4 bedroom house with pool, in my name only, but I was also in love and foolish. So I broke a few red pill rules and overall best practices.
Most of them were in regards to red flags, and un-necessary baggage. Taking a women in is one thing. Taking her and her 20, 18 and 13 year old boys? Idiotic. But I was in love.
The main rule I broke is Iron Rule of Tomassi #4. It states:
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.
In previous OYS posts I talked about how I had the cards stacked in my favor for what would eventually happen today.
Due to being foolish and so deeply in love (and quite franking still am) I was willing to overlook these red flags, but at the same time I was at least smart enough to have an exit strategy.
As the months grew on, I started to realize the complete mess I put myself in with her kids. I was becoming trapped. Not with her - that part was great, it was her fucking kids. With in 120 days of them moving in, I saw the writing on the wall. It was not going to last. I made up my mind back in June, it just took me 30 days to find my balls.
We had talked about this before, and there several instances which led to several discussions about these plans, then this weekend had a trigger event. Before I communicated the plan with no commitment date. Today I applied a commitment date.
Today I sat down with her and restructured our relationship as follows, because I am still a fool in love and this is better for me:
I am putting the house on the market and plan to sell it in the next 60 days. I will be moving into more than likely "this" condo - (a condo she has actually seen before). I would like you to find an apartment for you and the boys very close to where I am so you are able to still come over as much as you want. The condo and associated costs will be "mine" your apartment and associated costs will be "yours and the boys". I am willing to continue a 1:1 dedicated, monogamous relationship and we can treat the condo as "ours" in every way other than legally. But I am not longer willing to support your children.
So far? After the initial blow up and crying on her part, I have stood my ground. "I will change, the boys will change" are weapons which were used before which now have no impact on me. But also - she is a woman with no options other than to follow what I say. She could easily move out, dump me and whatever. At this point, I don't care but I don't think that will happen. Ego? Or just knowledge that she can easily be replaced?
At 4pm the realtor will be here, and she has been looking at apartments literally within 2 miles of the condo I plan to move into.
This time, the plan will be executed. Still, by a fool in love.
Today I finally admitted my mistakes to myself, and that I am more important than anyone, its time to take my ball back and that she now has a choice.
Go with my plan and have a relationship with me, one that over time would likely lead back to full time co-habitation, or not have me at all. But I am no longer willing to accept your "package" deal of "my kids and I."
Secret is - she knows who the prize is.
Stay tuned faggots.
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