Tonight was a rare night indeed. Compliance tests all day. Shit tests to round out the late afternoon and finally a comfort test to finish out the night. This is the one time I get to write it out while it's so fresh in memory.

Today was scheduled for a gym and lazy day. We were moving some stuff around the house and re-arranging the garage. Going from a 5 bedroom home to a 3 bedroom requires some creativity. I started off the day being lazy as hell. We got a new mattress and I have been groggy for the past few days adjusting. I get downstairs and I drink my coffee and watching TV. Specifically finishing up Hand of God which my wife hates. Remember Briffaults law? No matter how much I have already done at the new home, means nothing. Immediately she is telling, not asking me, to start doing this or that. Amused Mastery that shit right off, finally ending with "Ask nice sweetie!". She asks nice, and I say, ok maybe I will start soon. Finally, I get started on the garage after she leaves me alone for awhile. I tell her and my son whats required and what order things need to happen. Mark two big things off the list, and get some heavy furniture moved by myself. She is lightly impressed. Remember, lifting is everything. Picking up a chest of drawers and carrying it down the stairs. She says "Wow, you dont need any help?". Of course I do, but I do it by myself for the Tingles^tm.

As I start moving the furniture, without being told, she starts cleaning up the garage. Merely by starting the tasks and not barking orders, she knows its time for her to get to work. She did nothing all morning while hinting at me to get started. Women sure do know how to be men. She didn't need told to do anything. She has embraced her first officer position and knows what needs to be done, but relies on the leadership to get it moving.

Lesson

Start leading by doing, not delegating. If you have to tell your wife exactly what to do, then the break in leadership starts with you. Delegating difficult items is tempting but only leads to disappointment. Leadership many times can me be messy, roll up your sleeves, and dive right in. When you begin an important undertaking, start first with explaining the overall picture of what needs to happen. Tell everyone involved (wife and children) what is most important right now.

After the garage is done, we are back inside being lazy. She half mentions some things she has wanted done but I kept forgetting to do. You know, those little things that you think about while you are doing something else but always manage to forget about. Well, I remembered a bunch of them. She was left on the couch while I went outside and got the garage cleaned up, wind chimes hung up, maintenance on vehicles, garden tore down, etc... She of course has her lazy ass on the couch while I am out doing this. She asks where I have been. Told her I was out in the garage doing things. Left it at that and went to get a soda. Well much like a dog, she starts sniffing around. Completely impressed. She comes back in and says "You got all that done?". Yep, sure did baby, get me another drink will ya? Oh, and by the way, cross off the other items on the list. Went to check the list like thirty minutes later and remind her I also did these two things. Cross off.

Lesson

Sometimes your wife wants to be impressed. Much like IanIronwood would suggest. Don't make the mistake and do things she wants done. Do the things you want done. She just happens to be impressed as a side effect. Be the man you are impressed by.

Well, the shit tests started around the time gym time was upon us. The last four months have been rock solid gym days. T, R, S are the gym days. Period. No matter what else is going on, 1.5 hours are spent at the gym. She doesn't want to go. She is obviously worn out but not saying it. The blue pill man would give her a pass, buy her flowers, and make sure her Feelz^tm were going to be ok. The red pill man goes to the gym with or without her, and not a word is spoken about it. She goes. Thats the moral of the story.

Me: It's gym time everyone, lets go.

Her: Can't we just go tomorrow when we have more free time?

Me: Of course sweetie. You can go tomorrow!

Her: What the hell does that mean?

Me: That means my son and I are going today.

Her: What an asshole.

Edit: You know, I never told you about the spinning instructor. My wife was there, and the instructor didnt know. She chatted me up about lifting weight. As I was warming up my squat with 145lb she commented that maybe I was just starting. When I strapped on 250lbs, she said "Wow, you lift that much" and stayed through my 5x5 watching me. My wife saw it all in the mirror. When we left that day she said to me "Ok, no more talking to her" and I replied "Yeah, and maybe next time she will help me load the weight".

Long story short. We all go to the gym. I pack up me and my son, and she follows us out the door completely ready. She knows at this point, she will be left behind. There was further shit tests about her upcoming online testing for her new job. Basically, I am going to do her math stuff for her because she isn't that great at math, but her future job doesn't really require the depth they will test her on. As I am doing the math tests for her, I am struggling, its pretty difficult, so she keeps saying shit like "You better do well" and "You made a mistake here". Finally I ask her will I get to see the grade? I play to win, and I want to know what the result is. She gets all pissy and tells me this isnt about you. You just need to do the testing. I tell her of course she can just do it herself. She tells me ok. I get up and go. Really that simple fellas.

Later on she comes storming down the stairs. Fire in the eyes bull shit. She tells me very sternly that she needs to talk to me. I get up and follow her to the garage. Ironically the very one that we can now stand in after I got it all setup.

Break

You can play this two ways. Some RP material tells you to blow it off. She doesn't get that from you. Nor does she deserve it. The other side will tell you, there is nothing better than be tested and pass. For the beginner, please blow it off. As you advance and can competently pass the tests, go in full bore. Passing a test is better than ignoring the test. Silence is golden. Being able to AM and A&A your way through it, is better. The worst you can do is fail the A&A/AM when you try, so shut the fuck up in the unplugging stage.

I follow her out to the garage. She immediately goes into how this was not about me. She told me I totally disregarded her. She was hit right in the Feelz^tm and that was wrong of me. Notice she was saying "you, you, you" and this means shit test.

Setup: I am standing with her square, hands behind my back (showing no fear), and locking eye contact with her. She is facing me, square, and locking eyes with me. Her arms are folded across her chest.

Her: Blah blah, you, you, you, I am hurt because you didnt validate me

Me: You knew what this was, I play to win

Her: That's bull shit, it isnt about you (she is crying), it isn't about your test score. You always fucking do this to me. You took something from me, and made it about you. (OK there is more, but thats the gist)

Me: (Pats her on the head) Next test, I will wear one of your sun dresses and talk in a high pitched voice

Her: (more crying) Hahaha, that's not funny, you jerk. I feel so bad that I gave up everything in my career, and now it's all taken away from me. (there is a large back story I am not giving you here). I just don't know what to do and it sucks that I have to start all over.

Notice at this point she has gone from You, You, You, to I, I, I, this is queuing the comfort test. You have to watch the body language. The A&A and she laughed and unfolded her arms. She slouched against the drink ice box. She smiled. She came down ready to blast me with both barrels, but I took the ammo out of her gun pouch. She wanted the alamo and got the battle of san jacinto. To make a short comfort test longer, I just grabbed her and gave her a very strong hug. I grabbed her, and held on way past the point of a usual hug. This calmed her down, and she eventually melted into my arms. She apologized to me, and told me she loved me with all her heart. I didnt say anything. Just more hugging. Let her go and she says "Thank you". How weird is that? All the punches right in the feelz and she thanks me for it. I slap her on the ass so hard it makes her jump, and I tell her to go get her pajamas on. She says "Thanks Daddy" and heads upstairs. She comes back down and gives me a deep full kiss and tells me again Thank you and I love you with all my heart. This time I just say I love you to.

Lesson

She tests to see if you will fold. She hopes you won't. She needs that oak tree. She needs the tree that only sways in the hurricane, not uproots. Sure, you can go all Blue Pill and get that duty sex and constant contempt. Maybe that's your thing. The red pill method is "She love's when you don't take her seriously". Law #9. Never more important than in a comfort test. Later as we had sex I bonded her to me using the SGM. I fucked her hard, forcing eye contact, and when I came we were still locked in eye contact. She may very well be bonded to me now. It's a bold move, lets see how that plays out. Shout out to /u/BluePillProfesor for this reminder. Literally left her asleep on the bed. No cuddling.

TL;DR

Read the sidebar. Everything you need to live your life as the man you were meant to do is right there. -->