Field Report /fēld rəˈpôrt/

Noun: The subjective account of one man’s experience

Not a guide, recommendation or moral position

Informational, not instructional

I knew who she was years ago. In her late 20s, a brunette with a body chiseled by marathons. A few visible tattoos betrayed that there were more under her clothes, and her body was exactly my type. I was with mutual friends at a large event, and I thought we locked eyes; I was wrong, she was looking at my buddy’s huge arms (and I wanted to be him). I would often fantasize about her when I was in the shower, but I never spoke to her. I was skinny-fat, frameless and thoroughly BluePilled.

Fast forward a few years. I had been lifting, reading and STFUing for long enough to change the way I interact with people, women in particular. I was un-learning my unattractive habits, and my physical appearance had changed. I was having fun outside of my marriage, but I wasn’t actively seeking anything. One week, I volunteered for a program working with kids in the city, and the brunette was there too.

I learned that her name was Lucca, she was married with 3 kids at home. She was also 115 pounds of sarcasm and bourbon, so we quickly became friends. I would make logistics for us to be alone together, and soon we were flirting, texting and touching. Because I am a bad man, I watched her little ass as she moved around the classroom, and she found excuses to touch my arms.

Lucca knew I went to hot yoga on Tuesday nights, but I was surprised when she joined me one evening. She hugged me after class, while we were both shirtless and sweating. I placed my hand low on her hip, and left it there. I changed venues so we could be alone and get a drink. At the bar, she made excuses for us to touch (“Feel how cold my hands are!”), and I escalated until we were touching non-stop.

"If you think you can kiss a girl, you probably could have kissed her 10 minutes ago.”
Mark Manson, Models

Remember how married women describe kissing Chad? “We were just laughing and having a drink and, I don’t know, it just kind of happened?” It's true, because I made it happen, and soon we were making out in my backseat like teenagers.

I started seeing Lucca every week, and for a while we were amazing together. No drama, no expectations, no talk of leaving our spouses to run away together. Just lots of sex and genuine friendship, which evolved into a closer attachment. For once, that closeness wasn't ruined by my neediness or supplication. I would hold her close while she melted into my chest, and whisper in her ear: “I’m only here for the sex, not this cuddling bullshit.” She would kiss me with a knowing grin and say “Yeah, me too.” The sex was great, but the intimacy was wonderful.

One day, Lucca took a picture of <redacted>. Her husband found the picture, and shit hit the fan. She lied, saying we only fucked one time. The next time I saw Lucca, her eyes were exhausted and puffy from crying. She explained that she couldn’t see me any longer. She had to fix things at home, where her husband was wildly alternating between wanting a divorce and another baby (what?). I wasn’t butthurt, I didn’t ask her to stay, and I wasn’t afraid of her husband contacting my wife. Instead, I told Lucca that I wouldn’t make this any harder than it already was. Her husband made new rules, and changed her logistics to make it impossible for her to see me. Lucca deleted me from all social media, and it was over.

Did you believe me? Just now, when I said it was over. You believed me? Haha, I can’t believe you fucking fell for that. Seriously, that’s like MRP 101.

Of course it wasn’t over, we just learned to be more careful. We were caught over a year ago, and I still see Lucca every week. Sometimes we walk by the water, holding hands and kissing in the park. Sometimes we get stoned and try the new Thai place downtown. But most of the time, I fuck her like it was my last day on earth.

Here’s What I Learned:

I’ve been told that extramarital sex will never be as good as you expect, and never as meaningful as it is with a spouse. I’ve been told to expect that the amazing, new sex of an affair will fade quickly. I’ve been told it will be replaced by guilt, once morality catches up. None of those things have been true for me, and I’m still a bit shocked.

Lucca only knew me as a Red Pilled man. One who was cocky, not needy, bearded, social, lifting, dominant. This was my first time starting a ‘relationship’ that was entirely in my frame, and the differences are staggering. I was dominant from the first time we slept together - ordering her to her knees and rewarding her when she said “Yes SIR!” (she tried so hard to swallow it all, it was adorable). Lucca works hard to keep me - sending me nudes (Snapchat only) and canceling her own plans so she can see me instead. She acts exactly how a woman should respond to a high value man, but I never knew how to maintain that before MRP. She didn’t have to overcome my years of beta, because she never knew that guy.

“As you fix one area of your life, the other areas will start clicking into place more easily, to match the more positive energy set… all it takes is one of those factors in a different energy set to come into play and it makes all the other efforts in that set more likely to happen.”

Athol Kay, Mindful Attraction Plan

I experience tremendous personal growth when I have an abundance of intimacy/connection/sex in my life. It brings a balance to life that works very, very well for me.

What are the signs of a man having an affair? Every Cosmo magazine and female website will tell you the same thing. Lifting, new clothes and upgraded appearance. Confidence, new friends, change in schedule, increased sex drive, new interests and new music. I was already making these (new, permanent) habits because of MRP, so nothing changed when I started seeing other women. When guys ask: “How do I make excuses to get out of the house to see my plate?”, they’re asking the wrong question.

There were repercussions for getting caught, including new rules that allow Lucca’s husband to keep track of her. She promised to always answer his phone calls - so she always answers, even when she’s in bed with me. Lucca has a good thing going on at home, and doesn't want to mess that up. Her husband is a good provider and father, he’s tall and has a good job. He is also ‘the emotional one’ in their marriage. He gets drunk and starts fights, becomes defensive and insecure, and points out her failures. She feels like her husband is another child she has to care for. His actions literally drive her to me - she'll go to "the office" to get away from him, and I'll be waiting for her in the city. Man, I learned a lot hearing a woman talk about her loving husband while she was naked in my arms. And because of MRP, I wasn't surprised by any of it.

Having an affair before I had an established frame would have been a disaster (see also: Children With Dynamite). It's foolish to think I could have been having affairs as a BP guy (or even back as a newly fledged MRP lurker writing posts like this one). First I had to address my needy habits, sloppy “nice guy” game and an inability to keep secrets (I would have been tempted to reveal my affair during arguments, or when my wife insulted my ability to attract other women). Earlier affairs were ruined before they began by my need for validation. I also had to learn how to generate attraction in the long-term, rather than succumbing to easy, beta habits once I’d grown comfortable with a woman. We learn about game/frame/RP and we think we're ready to go slay some strange, but for a long time my frame was too weak to deal with the fallout of getting caught in an affair. If the thought of getting busted makes you shit your pants, you should probably keep them on.

Kino fucking works, DEVI works. I wish I had known years earlier, this is exactly what women want. Take control of the situation, logistics, and the plans for the night. That works because you’ve been attractive and generated more attraction through your actions, which is why it doesn’t work for simps. Be bold. When the time is right, take control of her physical position. Grab her ass and lift her off her feet, push her into the wall. Wrap your arms around her and make her feel small - that shit is the best. In fact, I learned that it’s my role to keep escalating, to be the catalyst. I used to try to figure out the “right time” to make a move on a woman. I used to think about what my next step should be in flirting - fuck all that. My objective now is to keep escalating until she says No, or Until her pussy is on my beard, whichever comes first.

Ain't like them guys who wine and dine to keep they women
My bitches only want two things, that's to get high and kick it
-Wiz Khalifa

I've never put so little effort into a "relationship". There’s no dating with me and Lucca, no gifts, no flowers. The only gifts I’ve given her are the panties and perfume I tell her to wear when she sees me (her husband should have noticed this). I need to clarify here, because I read the stories of so many faggots who turn their plates into new, shitty LTRs. There are no *I love you'*s, no compulsive need to talk on the phone, no covert contracts. Me and Lucca have only two rules:

Don't get caught, and
Either of us can walk away at any time

That brings me to my biggest lesson: Abundance changes everything. I’m starting to think I won’t go back to having less than 2 sexual partners, ever again, for the rest of my life. I haven’t gotten “hard no”s from my wife in a long time, but do you know what it’s like to watch my (165lb) wife throw an epic shit test, or to imply that she’s holding out sex on me? That shit used to hurt so bad, and now it is fucking hilarious. The only thing that changes is the size of the nut that I blow onto the next girl’s face. Me and Lucca will be over some day, which is why I’m perpetually lining up more girls like her. Abundance changes everything - and we can pretend I’m just talking about pussy.

Edit: Redacted a couple of details.