This is long, but I think that it needs to be. I'm not new here, I've been posting for months here and there, but I've created a new account because in many ways I feel as though I've turned a corner. I'm setting up background so that those lurkers who are in the depths of despair can understand that if I can do this, they can also.

Intro

I found RP philosophies through a round-about way. Over 10 years ago I would occasionally listen to Tom Leykis on the radio. This was my first introduction to what could be considered an "alpha" mindset when it comes to relationships. I never implemented any of his advice or rules because I believed it was only for single guys.

I'm a doctor and an alpha at work, but have been a drunk captain at home. Married for 16 years and we have 4 children.

This past May I was browsing the dead bedrooms subreddit and found a recommendation for the MMSLP book. I purchased the pdf and read it in a matter of days. I implemented many of the principles and noticed an immediate improvement in the bedroom. After about 2 weeks, however, the bedroom reverted back to old habits. In hindsight I can now see that part of this was because I felt that "playing games" with my wife was simply too difficult and I found the prospect of having to do that for the rest of my life to be too exhausting.

Of course, now I can see that the information in MMSLP is invaluable, however it can't be a permanent bridging of gap in any marriage. There is other knowledge that is necessary and a compliment to MMSLP. At the time I did not know this. In hindsight I also find this shocking because Kay specifically mentions "the manosphere" in MMSLP, but I had no inclination to discover anything about it.

In August I once again found myself in the dead bedrooms subreddit and saw a mention of TRP subreddit. I clicked it and read for about an hour. I liked the principles I saw. What I liked even more was the mention I found of the MRP subreddit.

There (here!) I found many of the same things I had heard years ago from Tom Leykis, coupled with things I had read in MMSLP...but it seemed to be finely-tuned for me, a guy married for 15+ years and a handful of children.

Implementation

In August I read NMMNG and WISNIFG. In September I read Pook and discovered various manosphere blogs. In October I ordered and read The Rational Male books 1 & 2. These weren't just cursory readings. I ordered hard copies of all of them and made highlights and took notes. I got serious about it. I also re-read MMSLP. It made much more sense. I implemented the Captain/FO model and verbally acknowledged this to my wife. I began tracking her cycle using the Clue app. I've feasted on all the top MRP posts.

Tests

Through September things weren't perfect, but they were improved and improving. Intimacy still wasn't where I thought it should be. Her most common complaint/shit test was "all you think about is sex!" I defused this with STFU, answering with "of course I do," or using A&A or AM. It no longer bothered me.

The Event

Mid-October she was in a funky mood. Her parents were in town for the weekend and I knew she was going to blow up at me. I knew this because she felt that her parents would give her emotional support. I knew they wouldn't be involved in the argument but I also knew that she believed I wouldn't stand up for myself if they were around. She was wrong.

The began by saying "is this it? Are we done with our relationship because I don't feel any emotional connection to you?" It didn't phase me. I calmly said to her "I'm not here to please you. Feel free to leave, but it's my house and I'm not going anywhere." I then left the house to run an errand.

We had plans to go out to dinner with her parents, so after I was gone for 10 minutes she sent me a text asking where I was. I didn't respond but made my way back home, which I was planning to do anyway. She greeted me at the door as the kids were getting into her car. She said "I'm sorry" and I said "let's go inside so I can speak with you."

Inside I kept it short and sweet. I said "you can do whatever you feel but I will NOT be held emotionally hostage by your vagina anymore." She had a look of shock and I walked out to the car, she joined me, and we went to dinner.

Dinner was good. I had a great meal. Everybody enjoyed themselves and I felt an immense sense of freedom for the first time in a long time. I had finally said something that I felt was vital to me as a person. If I valued myself I could not be held hostage by her vagina any longer.

I didn't know how things would be when we arrived home. The kids went to bed and then I went to bed. I was exhausted from the emotional release. She said she was going to stay up and hang out with her parents for a bit and then she would be up to bed.

I fell asleep, she woke me up when she came up and we had crazy sex. She was turned on. I wanted to think "damn, this RP stuff works," but I didn't know if it was the RP or just her having emotional swings from our conversation.

The outcome

That night was October 19. Here is a list, by date, of times we have had sex since then:

October 20, 20, 23, 25, 27, 29, 30. That's right, we had it twice on the 20th, once before work and once after. Those dates include sex in the kitchen, sex during my lunch break, and blowjobs every time. Prior to this I've received a blowjob from her ONE time in our marriage. I've now had 8 this month.

We've averaged sex once every 10-20 days in our marriage; I know because I track it. During our marriage I would initiate every 1-2 days. I basically had a 90% rejection rate. We've had it 8 times in the past 12 days. We could have done it more frequently but I didn't want to and therefore didn't initiate.

On two of those above evenings I didn't initiate, because I felt great and honestly had an abundance mentality. I think that this made her more horny and she couldn't help herself.

What am I doing?

Am I satisfied? Yes, in many ways. But now more than ever I recognize the effort that a Man but out forth in being a leader, a father, a person who commands respect because he is so awesome that not giving him respect is recognized as detrimental by those around him. I'm enjoying life and my wife is along for the ride.

I'm surprising her multiple times each week. I'm radio silent during the day. I don't respond to calls or texts, and she absolutely loves this. She wouldn't say she does, but I know because of her actions. I'm the king dick around these parts. Leading, delegating, creating opportunities. We ran an obstacle course 5k as a family today. We've never done that. She loves and craves the new stuff.

Am I resting? No. I've been lifting & conditioning every day for two years now. I lost 30# in the process, but need to lose more. I'm reading more than ever. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and The 48 Laws of Power are on my nightstand. I started them today. I hit a different manosphere blog each day and read the writings. I go out with guys hit the shooting range every 1-2 weeks. I'm making choices that bring me happiness and make me a better person. IDGAF has taken over my life.

Summary

This stuff works. It takes time and effort. I know, I've used it to resurrect a dead bedroom. Turns out our wives don't want to be married to a whiny baby. It's all on my shoulders. Our familial successes and failures. My successes and failures. Isn't this amazing?

Update

Two weeks later, time for an update. Still boning hard. Sometimes missing a day but making up for it twice the following day.