At the beginning of last summer I asked a 16yo kid named Aaron that lives down the street to mow my grass. Every time he finished, we exchanged a few words – I asked him how he was doing in school – he asked me about my motorcycle in the garage - and he told me a story about how he was saving up to buy one. I wished him luck and gave him a quick piece of advice: “Best decision I ever made was getting a bike at 16. Couldn’t keep the girls off of me.”

“Yeah, Mr. Horns…. I don’t even know how to get a girlfriend. That would be so cool.”

In the next few weeks he bought a used bike. I guess he mowed 15-20 yards a week. The next time on early Saturday morning he showed up on time and began mowing. I went to lift in the garage and when he was done we had our usual exchange. Except this time he asked me: “Mr. Horns – do you lift weights a lot?”

He was 5’10” – 150lbs. Shaggy hair, loose oversized t-shirts with baggy jeans.

We chatted a bit and I told him exactly why I lift weights. He said he thought about doing it before but only the athletes at school lifted and he wasn’t really into sports… didn’t really know what to do… and he had gone to Planet Fitness a few times that summer since it was free for students but just kind of messed around. I told him that didn’t matter – and if he wanted someone to show him the basics I’d be happy to. He was enthusiastic. He joined me in the garage gym next week and I showed him Stronglifts and gave him my copy of Starting Stength. At the end of the summer he was talking about how much stronger he felt – how he was going to “get big like The Rock” and other silly things teenagers say. He even let me know he got a girlfriend finally, and I saw him walking down the street with her a few times afterwards.

His girlfriend had a nice face, but was chunky and unattractive. She dressed in baggy clothes every time I saw them walking and holding hands around the neighborhood.

The rest of that summer and fall he would stop by weekly and would ask me questions about things he was doing lifting, what should he be eating, shit about girls, I just dumped whatever knowledge on him that I knew to give him what he asked for. He kept lifting 4x a week all summer and I started to notice he was getting noob gains. At the end of the summer I showed him PHAT and PHUL programs.

Fast forward to last week - a year later. He sent me a text and asked if I still needed him to mow my grass this year. I shot him a text back and let him know that yes, next week would be about right. He said OK, and then asked if he could come lift with me since all the gyms had closed for Coronavirus. I told him 5pm would work.

Aaron drove up right on time as expected in a late 90’s mustang that he told me he had saved for a year to buy. What stood in front of me blew my fucking mind. I asked him – “Holy shit. How much weight have you gained, son?”

“Oh, Mr. Horns… I don’t know… I guess last summer I was 150lbs before you showed me how to lift weights. I think I weigh about 185 now?”

He looked all of it. As we lifted together he updated me on his life since last summer. His last girlfriend dumped him because of some stupid teenager reason. He said he was upset at first but then after about a month he got over it and started dating a lot of other girls at the same time. Then he “picked one” he liked the most and they’ve been together for a few months. We talked about his lifting – and we traded sets on the benchpress of the same weight. He had been going non-stop since last summer and told me that he could never stop lifting the rest of this life. He loved the way it made him feel and he was noticing that other dudes respected him more. He also noticed that he got way more attention from the girls. He thanked me numerous times for showing him the ropes and I just told him that I wished someone had done it for me when I was his age. His dad had started to lift weights with him about 2 months ago because “he is fat and feeling like he was behind”. And then he said something that blew my fucking mind:

“You know, Mr. Horns, it’s like…. I dunno… I used to care about what everyone else thought of me and made me do before. Like my ex-girlfriend… when I was with her I wasn’t even like…. being myself. I was doing all these things that weren’t me and I was like… a whole different person. But now it’s like I don’t care what they think.”

“Oh. I see, Aaron. Ha! Kind of like…. you don’t give a fuck?”

He perked up quick. “Yeah! It’s EXACTLY like that! I just don’t give a fuck.”

Then he proudly showed me this bracelet that his new girlfriend had made for him out of some kind of yarn or some shit. On it she had put some beads and letters. “Check this out, Mr. Horns.”

It spelled BIG CHAD.

I told him that until this Coronavirus stuff blows over he is welcome to come lift with me anytime. Or if I’m not home or busy I’ll open up the garage for him with enough notice.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw him yesterday walking down the street with his new girlfriend. She’s prettier than the last one. But something was noticeably different. He still had his shaggy hair, but he was wearing a solid form fitting v-neck shirt that showed off his pecs and biceps with athletic cut jeans on.

All it took was a kid to start lifting and another man giving him some pointers to figure all this shit out without a sidebar, MRP, TRP or anything. If a 17yo kid can figure out how all of this intersexual-dynamic shit works, so can you. He didn’t know shit, so he just STFU, Lifted, and figured out what worked. He bought a cool car like every teenage boy and just had fun.

Be like Aaron.

It’s not that fucking hard. It wasn’t meant to be hard.

Of course I’m envious of him having figured out what took me 35 years to realize, but I guarantee you that if he asks more questions I’ll give him the truth.

And no shit – before I could even finish this post – he just texted me: “Are you lifting today?”

Of course I am, Big Chad.