Quick field report on a fundamental but often overlooked point.

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Field Report

I've got kids including a daughter in high school. She was having a conversation with my wife the other day around the homecoming dance and who is taking who. She mentioned a certain kid that's her age (freshman) and the conversation took an interesting turn.

Our families are friends so I know this kid. He is well over 6' and a beast in multiple sports. He's active in the local church and has all the makings of being "the guy" for his grade in our smallish town.

My daughter was talking about him though like she hoped he didn't ask her to the dance. I asked her why because I thought he was her type... she's almost 5'10 and athletic so she goes after the taller athletes.

My daughter said he was "too much drama." I had other shit to do so I dropped it and moved on. I asked my wife about it later and she said the boy texts all the girls non-stop but in an emotionally needy, overbearing way. He's too sensitive and constantly plays the "I'm a nice guy who is open about my feelings" card and complains that no girl wants him.

I reflected on this and decided to share it here.

This kid is good-looking, probably 6'3 or 4, will dominate in multiple sports, and is completely striking out with girls who would normally be all over him. Dating in HS should be easy mode for him yet he can't get past the tutorial.

Why?

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Because he is emotionally feminine and needy. Worse, he reveals it via his constant communication.

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Takeaway & Application

Oldtimers on here say "be attractive, don't be unattractive" and "STFU, sidebar, and lift" all the time. Yet noobs don't seem to get that the "STFU" and "don't be unattractive" parts are just as important as the other parts such as "be attractive" and "lift." Maybe more.

You can be the most attractive dude in the world but if you come across like a little bitch to a woman, she will lose interest rapidly. Easy example: Will Smith.

Women are fundamentally different from men. Their attraction patterns are similar but not the exact same. A key difference is that if you don't have a masculine frame, your physical attributes won't be enough to overcome her repulsion.

Ok, so you need to build a masculine frame. That shit takes time. Especially if you were raised by women.

So what should you do in the meantime?

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

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The Value of STFU for Noobs

Let's go back to the guy in the FR. If he would just shut the fuck up, these girls would be all over him. Why? Because he wouldn't be showing his weaknesses. Yes, he would still be immature and emotionally needy but they wouldn't know that. He would have girls hanging all over him, thus giving him more opportunities to learn how to act while he matures a bit.

There's plenty of proverbs and sayings around this, ones like "better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and prove it."

If you are physically attractive, a woman's hamster will usually work to convince her that those things which you do not reveal must be good. For example, if you are attractive and quiet, you are mysterious and alluring. If you are unattractive and quiet, then you are that weird creepy loner.

So for you noobs, that's why "STFU and lift" is so effective. Lift increases your attractiveness, self-confidence, and gives you a challenge in life you can overcome. STFU gives you time and space to work on yourself without revealing your weaknesses constantly.

Maybe you are emotionally weak little bitch who is triggered constantly. You need to fix that shit. If, however, you don't react, you don't reveal that to the others around you and they might, just maybe, think better of you.

STFU. Detach. Learn to be emotionally non-reactive.

Good luck.