So we stopped by a friends house the other night after my wife and I attended a family function without the kids. The friend was watching our youngest two, and had an ice cream bar set out for all the kids. Turns out when we show up, I'm the only guy (my buddy, who's house it was, works rotating shifts), four women total, and a million screaming kids ages 3-7. I'm being polite, standing in the kitchen, figuring out my move to get out. A little back story, I was in a suit and tie, and the three other women are all lower SMV than my wife by a long shot.

The girls are yammering about the usual shit women do, when my wife looks across the room, gets a glimmering look in her eye and a little girl smile and say "Hun, go get me a soda, please, coke zero?"

Deadpan I look at her and say "Whats wrong with your feet? All this talking made them go numb?"

I walk up to her, smack her ass hard, right in front of the other 3 women. Look at all the other women and say "As much as I'd like to stay, I wouldn't really."

As I walked out the door, my wife ran over and gave me a quick peck on the lips and an ass squeeze, while the other women were catching flys with their mouths open.

I swear to god it was a set up. My wife wanted to get shot down in front of her friends. Who am I to deny her that?