Hello, this might end up being long, but I'm quite excited to share my first Field Report. at bottom.

My History - I was 3rd Generation Beta, Dad gave me all the skills to be a manipulative Nice Guy. Married 10 years. Wife did a great job of supplicating my betaness, probably because she felt sorry for me. Had a DBR for the last 4 years, < 2 sex a month. Began lurking in January 2015, slowly read through Prereq's, 101, and Graduate Level. Starting to go through those again. Started to swallow the pill after MMSLP and The Rational Male.

I ramped up dread and expectations a little too quickly, at first, so went into monk mode around April, and spent time lurking, reading, lifting, and slowly applying. Lost 40 lbs of fat, doing 5x5, and dressing better. Other women start noticing, touching arm, etc.

Field Report - Since upping my SMV sex had been more frequent, but not any better, (but I was happy to even have a starfish at the moment). At the beginning of the month, I think we had our main event, although it wasn't as terrible as I was expecting, so there may be more on the horizon. I made my vision for our family clear, and I was also upfront with my boundaries. There was feelz and tearz, and a huge comfort test at the end where she said, "I don't fit in in your plan for the future." I grabbed her, kissed her on the head and explained that in my vision her and I are operating as Captain and First Officer, and that I wanted more than anything for her to be First Officer, but that I can't make that choice for you. "This is the direction this family is headed, I want you to come with us." Told her I loved her and went to lift.

That night it was on, the most eager to please she's been, ever, in ten years. She couldn't see my face, but I was almost laughing, thinking "why does my dong hurt?" and hearing Morpheus telling me, "Because you've never used it before."

Since then sex has been frequent, and excellent. Not perfect, but that's my fault, and it's on the right trajectory.

Then I get a custom warning from Clue the other day, "The Crimson tide is coming in, don't take things personally". I prepare my self for a week of monk mode, certain that my wife won't be able to take care of me well.

And then last night I got the first bj in 5+ years, initiated completely by her. At one point long ago we talked about it, and she made it clear bjs would never happen again, because gag reflex, and esaphogas problems, and it's just gross, etc. I almost suspected that even Chad could not convince my wife to blow him, and then after 10 months of purgin my system of Beta Bux, I'm like, "I know kung fu!"

Shit I Owned

  • First things first, I did the "try before you buy" plan with all the books. I am currently going through and paying for them all. Best money I ever spent. If you are reading this and in my current or past situation, just own your shit and buy the books up front, instead of prolonging your beta qualities. Own your shit, literally, don't steal it like a pussy.

  • I stopped asking my wife "Where/What do you want..." period. No longer in my vocabulary. Replaced it with "We are going to..." and if she has a better idea, I'll clearly state "I like your idea better, we're doing that..."

  • I was so bad at listening for Shit and Comfort Tests, I had to set an alarm on my phone for every five minutes to remind myself to look out for them. After a week I got much better.

  • I went through a rough spot about half way through where I almost through in the towell. Don't give up! I'm so glad I didn't, and I don't want to victim puke, but things got so much worse before they started to turn around. Stick with it and lift.

  • I'm glad I read Ian Ironwoods Alpha Moves book, I would encourage everone to. Not sure why it's not part of 101. It really connects the theory with practicality, and is good practice for Career Beta's like I was, that truly don't know what being alpha is like.

  • I stopped finding validation in what my wife says and does. Part of unplugging has helped me to realize that being a woman means her being is not to validate me. It's just not how women work. That was huge for me.

  • Taking over finances was a battle. She would have never told me, but her doing the finances was crushing her under so much pressure. She did a great job of hiding it, and even convinced me that she liked it. Watch what she does, not what she says. After we had a month long war of me taking finances from her, now the way I handle money well gives her tingles, I swear. We are almost out of debt, and have a strict budget. I swear everytime I pay off a card her panties get moist.

Shit I'm Owning - I still have so far to go. Have another 40 lbs to lose, have a lot of beta-ness that creeps up from time to time, have tons of course correction to do after captaining my ship into the rocks and capsizing. We are back on course, but way off from where we should be.

Thanks - I can't thank this group enough. The Moderators are wise and it takes time to read all of this stuff. Thanks! You guys are harsh and insightful, just what I need.

Question - I'll sneak this in here. I have actually noticed that since sex has been more frequent, my drive has been low. Maybe it's loss of testosterone [literally]? Seriously my desire to lift, and wake up in the morning seems waining. I'm battling it well so far, but it seems to be getting worse. Will that return, and/or is that normal? Has anyone experienced something similar? For Clarity, my sex drive is good, I just find myself less motivated to go lift, and be aloof, and other daily things.

Swallowed pill over a few months starting January, unplugging since then, had a main event, getting laid a lot, wife initiated first bj in 5 years last night.