~ archived since 2018 ~

Good sex requires Emotion

December 26, 2018

I found r/marriedredpill while looking for ideas to spice up my boring, same-thing-every-time sex life with my postmenopausal wife.

I've naturally followed most MRP principles throughout my 30+ year marriage, with the notable exception of those directly related to sex (flirting/game; behaviors toward and during sex). The very predictable result has been an otherwise great relationhip with a wife who respects and likes me, who rarely rejects sex, but who claims to have zero sex drive (for me?) after menopause, with purely responsive desire and very slow arousal during sex.

The big new revelations for me from MRP have been The Sex God Method and DEVI, Chapter 10 of NMMNG about sex, and Game. My still-poor application of these ideas has already improved sex with my wife. As I progress, I'm beginning to appreciate the primacy of Emotion over the physical in sex and sexual response, especially for women for whom sexual arousal is primarily mental and emotional. As from Practical Female Psychology

"A woman is dependent upon the actions and attitude of her man with respect to how aroused she is able to become. ... in order for her to be sexually receptive, she still has to find within a man a combination of ... male sexual dominance, and the skill of verbally stimulating emotions within a woman"

As I see it now, effectively SGM's DEVI is at root all about emotions: the strong feelings surrounding submission or resistance with Dominance; stimulating different emotions through Variety; experiencing these emotions to their fullest through Immersion.

Emotionally limited sex

For the recovering Nice Guys of MRP, sex is primarily about covert contracts and validation. To avoid upsetting or offending their wives, their emotional expression with sex is both very limited and inauthentic. (This may often account for much of her lack of interest in sex with him.) As he struggles to avoid DEERing and validation-seeking, demonstrate OI, and STFU, the MRP novice often brings even less Emotion to the bedroom. This leads to bad sex that fails to engage her emotionally, which very often leads to

Like most guys, I'm most comfortable with the physical aspects of sex, and purely physical sex is at least momentarily satisfying, so in the past I focused primarily on physical acts and stimulation. Reading SGM convinced me to immediately add more Dominance and Variety to sex with my wife (as well as Emotion, which was less clear to me), but it was mostly physical Dominance without much emotional effect. Variety to me was also at first about different positions/acts/body-parts/holes. After an initial increase in sexual interest and response (which I now realize was mostly an emotional response to the novelty), it tapered off again for my wife, and for me as well. I soon found that without a strong emotional component (whether accidental or intentional), Dominance and Variety have limited effect and are mostly an irritation or a distraction from the better sex I sought for me and her.

Sex with Emotion

I eventually realized that seeking variety only through different physical acts was mostly about allowing me to stay within my own (physical) sexual comfort zone by pushing her out of hers. Now, I'm mostly pushing myself beyond my own comfort zone in learning to use emotion effectively in sex.

  • Before this change, I was a silent lover. Now, I work at talking before, during and after sex; and not just over-the-top phony dirty talk as in porn videos, but to engage a variety of emotions such as laughter as well as "sexual" emotions. I express my raw thoughts, pleasure, and desires rather than censor them during sex.

  • I've introduced a lot more variety and novelty in "foreplay" activities with emotional context, instead of just physical stimulation. I've also added "preplay", a variety of physically active sexy or sexual things that I lead my wife to do (such as sexy games or dancing nude, often outside the bedroom) that turn me on and engage my wife's emotions, only some of which involve physical contact.

  • I focus on the emotional content of Dominance, Variety, and Immersion, and often choose what I do for a desired emotional effect.

  • I try to engage a variety of emotions when flirting and gaming.

Learning to bring Emotion to sex has been a challenge for me and I still suck at it, but to my initial surprise it has already brought me more interest and sexual satisfaction than "unlocking" another act, hole, position, or location. (And I don't think this is just because I'm getting old.) This also places positive change within my control, not hers. And when I'm successful at bringing Emotion to sex, my wife is much more easily aroused and sexually responsive.

Many guys here seem obsessed with getting their wife to perform some specific sex act. I suspect this focus often arises from a lack of Emotion, leaving them stuck with boring sex and only new physical acts to provide validation or Variety. As I've made sex a richer and more varied emotional experience, I've found that I care less and less about specific acts; by the time we get to the physical sex, the specific act or position is usually incidental to the predominantly emotional experience.

This post grew out of a discussion with u/resolutions316 following his most recent OYS, at the suggestion of u/weakandsensitive.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill.

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Post Information
Title Good sex requires Emotion
Author man_in_the_world
Upvotes 166
Comments 51
Date December 26, 2018 4:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/good-sex-requires-emotion.197508
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/a9pxnh/good_sex_requires_emotion/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]EveryGodDamnDayGrinding32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Saved. There's a reason the word "autistic" comes up here so often: a lot of guys here are just not very good with emotions. Definitely a weak point of mine. Sounds like SGM is next on the list for me.

[–]Frosteecat17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

As a very right brained male married to a very linear woman, I can attest that getting into an emotional space (which is easy for me, hard for her go figure) leads to much better sex and intimacy.

On the rare occasions that she wants to talk I can see the excitement in her demeanor, something that is very rarely apparent. The emotions of whatever she wants to share definitely trigger a physical response.

Last night, after putting up with a lot of her family BS and just straight up getting shit done for days in preparation for hosting Xmas, she was understandably receptive to my advances. I made it clear I was planning on us having sex and took the time to create a nice bedroom atmosphere. She came to bed willing and eager (for her anyways lol).

It was the first time post pill that I hadn't overemphasized OI to the point of being clueless in general and I also had the words of TWOTSM echoing in my head about "being present and giving her your all" essentially. Even as we began to go at it, and she mechanically started to go through the basic routine we'd followed for years (i.e. starfish/get it over with) I realized what was happening for once, slowed things down, paid more attention to her speed (obviously slower) her body, kissing, caressing, etc. etc.

The sex ended up being great--started out tender and finished real hard. I can say this had a lot to do with trying to think more and autopilot less. I think it was actually a major breakthrough and could lead to better things very soon. I will certainly mix in more patience and emotion going forward, both inside and outside the bedroom. I think it will be a nice balance to what is probably a pretty big Ramboesque impression I've been giving in general--lifting, STFUing and getting shit done has got her hamster in a spin. This balances that out.

Good writeup and resources, and very timely in my perspective. Writing it out sounds pretty gay, but it isn't--it's just some yin yang shit that needs to be employed, naturally.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Nice FR; thanks for contributing it!

[–]Frosteecat7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It’s heartening to know that even us old guys have some pretty obvious lessons to learn—and aren’t afraid to humble ourselves a bit for the good of the group.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wish that I had learned this shit many years ago ... but better now than never.

There's also something to be said for having new and highly motivating things to learn within our capability in our dotage.

[–]electric_dragon10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good perspective on that one. I've often projected into the future and worried about that.

[–]Reach180MRP APPROVED11 points12 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I'd call myself a recovering autist....so when I read this, it really rings true. Its the type of thing I'd like to apply, but I have zero emotional aptitude. I can fake it sometimes....but that's probably still hiding in my comfort zone as you describe.

I dont know where to go to improve. I read what you write and even your simple examples blow right over my head in terms of how to even get to that point.

Do you have any retard level starting points for how to get myself in the right mindset to pursue this?

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 21 points22 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Maybe some recovering fellow autists can help. It's the Christmas season, guys; give your ideas or experience!

Learning to connect your desires, thoughts, and feelings to your conscious brain, and brain to mouth, might be the basic breakthrough you need.

Try simple expressions of your real momentary thoughts and feelings during foreplay and sex:

  • "Just looking at your lovely tits is making me hard."

  • "Kissing you is really turning me on; here, feel how hard you're making me."

  • "Your hair is so soft and smooth; I love grabbing it while I kiss you."

  • "Your nipples are getting hard. I bet I can make them harder!"

  • "It feels so good when you touch me like that."

  • "Your pussy is so soft and wet now."

  • "I want to fuck you now so bad, but I'm going to make you cum first."

  • "I love how your legs shake when you cum."

  • "It feels so good when I'm inside you."

  • "Did I just squeeze a fart out of you?" (Laugh.)

You know that you feel and think these things; just say them, simply and immediately.

[–]j_arbuckle20126 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A further point: get to the point where you're not just saying these things, but touching and guiding, and physically manhandling her while you're talking dirty to her. Be ruthlessly expressive, in both word and deed. This will keep her mind in the present, increase Immersion massively, and keep your head in the game. E.g. Saying "Looking at your lovely tits makes me hard." Grab her tits and hump your dick against her side at the same time.

[–]Reach180MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Maybe I'm overthinking this, maybe I'm underestimating myself. Where you go in this reply would not be out of place in my bedroom (and outside of the bedroom, too). I incorporated talk after reading sgm in the beginning. It has led to some better sex, but not so much in terms of greater intimacy.

You do a good job of verbalizing something I've felt - that "leveling up" via new holes and toys and positions gets to be empty. It feels like what I want when I think about improving the quality of my sex life, but so far hasn't been "It". And so when you talk about more and better intimacy, I think that's what I crave.

I suspect that, just like anything here, it's something I have to find myself....but that's tough to do when I've got little understanding of what intimacy is for me.

Maybe a better question is this: Did you intentionally seek something, or did you stumble upon it?
If it was something you intentionally pursued, how did you discover what "it" was?

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Read the latter part of this comment and perhaps the whole discussion to make sure that you're seeking intimacy, not validation. I suspect that it might be the latter, which will never be satisfying for long.

[–]Reach180MRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Validation is something I did a lot of work on early on, and I'm very conscious of pushing myself away from that path. I don't think of sex the way I used to. I don't think of my wife's approval the way I used to.

It's possible this is all mental gymnastics to hide the validation seeking from myself, or wrap a different story around it, but I don't think it is.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's possible this is all mental gymnastics to hide the validation seeking from myself, or wrap a different story around it, but I don't think it is.

A companion post on validation is now posted. It contains some diagnostic scenarios.

[–]Reach180MRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep - thanks for posting. Very good.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you walk into a restaurant and tel them you are hungry, what are they supposed to do for you? Not much. You need to internalize what YOU want. It isn’t easy and it’s different with all of us. But you can’t just decide you want your prude, inexperienced wife to be an anal sex slave.

[–]RPeedEverything is GAY / Dreadful '197 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

First time I simply made an effort to breath heavier and right into her ear.

Yes, even this was progress and the instant response encouraged me into a bit of grunting.

Second time I made a conscious decision to say at least one sentence. I think it was “you are so sexy” or something equally lame.

Third time, all of above plus pushed her upright while she was on top and said “I like to look at you”. Then the switch flicked and I found myself saying all sorts of shit that was going through my head: “yeah”/“come on” all that porn stuff.

Recognise your problem is two fold: its emotion AND immersion. Even clumsily implementing the former will increase the latter. Then you’ll increase your immersion and that’s when the whole thing will start working in a virtuous cycle.

OP touches on this too: don’t go in with a checklist of acts to tick off. Start talking and touching and let things unfold.

Try the heavy breathing and pick one thing (hair, tits, ass, whatever) to talk about during. Just commit to a couple of sentences in advance if need be. It is OK to make zero sense, a point he makes repeatedly in SGM.

If you are not cringing: you are not trying.

It is obvious to me now but if you have been doing everything right except this: the verbal element adds REAL dominance. REAL emotion. REAL variety.

Get out of your comfort zone and start flapping your lips.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are not cringing: you are not trying.

Great point. I understand this with my kids as I talk to them about failure and point out how failure is a positive at times in life. Sex and relationship are parts of life.

[–]justpickanyusernameMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have actually been thinking a little about this before this post was written. I seem to have dialed in a number of other things fairly well using MRP principles, but I think this is glaring weakness that I have. Essentially, the E and the I of DEVI.

As a fellow recovering autist, I have a theory that I simply don't engage in this behavior enough even outside of the bedroom. It sort of gets into that right brain/left brain kind of thing. Since I lean autist, I theorize that my right side is underdeveloped (see true autistic analysis right there). If you look at that graphic in the link I am very few of the things on the right brain side. Those are things that I excelled at in grade school, but over the years have gotten away from.

I believe the solution is just like lifting in the gym. I simply need to exercise this part of my brain more. Things like picking up that guitar I bought two years ago and actually dedicating time and learning to play it. There are plenty of other artsy things I could engage in to improve here to round out that side of myself a little bit more. I would hope that by just diving into that portion of myself I will eventually figure it out. Then, bringing that type of stuff into the bedroom won't be so awkward for me.

Not sure if that helps. For me personally, it is a time and a comfort zone thing to start getting into that type of stuff. Not all that different from when I walked into the gym at a scrawny and pathetic 150lbs. Fortunately, I was able to stick with the gym and thru repetitions gain strength and muscle. I believe the same goes for emotional aptitude. Not saying I need to become a poet or anything. But, I need to work that side of my brain a hell of a lot more than I do currently.

[–]SirYe_ofLittleFaith2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am a recovering nice guy with an autistic streak, but have had good success in the bedroom due to persistent focused sexual intensity, is my best guess. Since becoming TRP aware, my marriage has gone from near collapse to great, although sex has always been a bright spot in the relationship, but is even better now that I understand TRP somewhat. Some things that work for me: get her some kegal balls and start talking to her about how tight her pussy is getting, encourage her to use them a lot (like every time she showers), and show your appreciation during sex by heaping praise on her "tight wet hairy pussy". Become fixated with her pussy and talk about how much you love the way it: looks, feels, smells, and tastes. Make her do something naughty and ask her if she likes being naughty, then spank her when she says yes and ask again. Make her get on top and wrap your arms around her while she fucks you and sqeeze her just hard enough to make it obvious that you are bigger and stronger than her. Force her legs appart during sex, with ropes or with whatever limb happens to be in a position to do it. Ask her to moan for you, when she does, say louder. Bend her over and talk about her ass hole while you stare at it, tell her how good it lookes, tastes, smells, feels etc... The goal is not so much to be accurate, but to keep her from being self conscious in any way by embracing everything about her body without reservation. You don't want her to think twice about letting you see or play with her ass, or anything else. Buy sex toys and use them, especially nipple clamps, any kind of restraint, and a variety of vibrators and attachments, keep everything convinent enough to use. But most of all, get her turned on before you push her limits, and push her limits as much and as often as you can. Also push your own limits. By doing this things change and stay exciting. Watch porn together and talk about it, act it out.

[–]tspitsatgp0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am in a similar boat. I don’t even know where to begin with bringing emotion into sex/intimacy. STFU has been my default mode when it came to emotions for 10+ years.

[–]j_arbuckle20126 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Start small. Breathe more loudly, moan, groan, grunt, etc. Get used to just making noise.

Then start easy. Dirty talk isn't really dirty. It really should be called "ruthlessly expressive sexual talk focused on the NOW" but that's too long a title. You are feeling things, sexual thoughts and emotions, you need to verbalize them. Narrate what you're feeling, and how strongly. You'll get the hang of it. Save the vulgar, filthy stuff for later, when you're comfortable expressing your sexual emotions in the now.

[–]coachdad810 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My sex life improved once I didn't need sex anymore. This was a simple mindset shift that took 12 months. Of course my wife picks up on this and we often plan sex early in the day via text, kino, or offhand comments. For both of us this has greatly decreased the pressure of sex - a reversal from her having to make me happy having sex even when she doesn't feel like it, and for me a reversal from wanting to have sex because I needed to feel validated. In a nustshell this is my main takeaway from the sidebar. Great post OP.

[–]coinbaserep1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is me right now.

We have sex a lot and I know there’s gotta be some pressure at bedtime for her as I initiate a lot. And sometimes I initiate and we have sex when I don’t care to have it but I get validation from it.

And even if i get rejected. When I didn’t really want see in the first place I let it bother me.

I need to stop using it for validation. Any tips that worked for you to overcome validation seeking through sex

[–]coachdad85 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Took me almost 12 months, it wasn't fast. I'd have weeks where I would be totally ok, then I'd suddenly need to have sex and she'd be tired or have a sore throat or feel sick. I cant pinpoint any specific action, it was more of a slow realization that my wife really likes to have sex with me and there was no subversive motives when we didn't. Along the way she also became much more open to freaky stuff that I made a priority.

I wrote a post on MRP early 2018 asking for advice because my conservative wife used to detest some fun sexual activities and I wanted to understand what could be the cause. Even though most of the advice was the typical unhelpful stuff like calling me a faggot and telling me to read the sidebar, there were some insightful responses. One in particular was a link to a post called "Sex Starved Not Sex Crazed" where the author mentioned that he needed sex more when he wasn't getting it. As soon as he got the frequency and the enthusiasm he wanted, it become way less important. That was a lightbulb moment since I was getting sex frequently just not the dirty stuff so it pissed me off. As I internalized the stoic philosophy of avoiding the passions, sex became less about me winning and I was free to pursue with OI (and ultmately get with enthusiam) all the things my wife had previously called gross and dirty. So I guess one thing that I can mention is the stoic philosophies were helpful since they mention not to get wrapped up in assigning intentions and have OI. Easier said then done but very helpful in my situation. Hope that helps u/coinbaserep

[–]coinbaserep1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for taking the time to respond I will read into this more

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I swear, every time I see a u/man_in_the_world post or comment, I upvote. They're that good, especially in the OYS threads week after week. One insightful mofo right here.

Good post.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]j_arbuckle20125 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The fun thing is when you git gud at speaking in the language of sexual emotions you don't even need to stick your dick inside her to make her cum hard.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It would be helpful to relay your experience and give some insight. A post would be great don’t worry about the flashback in comments. Good or bad.

A lot can learn from what you just stated

[–]j_arbuckle20122 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Everything I know about sex I learned from SGM, David Shade, and heavy experimentation.

What I'm referencing here is what David Shade calls a "thinkoff." Arousing a woman's emotions to the point where she orgasms without stimulation. Easier to pull off than you think, especially if you follow the sidebar and don't bullshit the work. The reference in question is David Shade's Hot Phone Sex product.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m asking you to write a post to elaborate for the fucktards.

It’s imperative we write experiences that can enlighten others Some are caught in so much of the aspect of Rambo, that they need something like a push to a Richard Cooper video that can really put some of the red pill sidebar together

[–]RPeedEverything is GAY / Dreadful '194 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good post. I am coming from a similar place and digesting this new same realisation. I mentioned in a recent OYS that I expected little from SGM but was blown away by the emotion part.

Applying it immediately took me absolutely out of my comfort zone and got instant results. It’s actually given me renewed enthusiasm for seeking the relationship my wife and I could have, instead of daydreaming about bumble.

Every time you uncover/get past a hang up, it is amazing to look back on how long it has hung over you: my gf before my wife was far more sexually available, talked/laughed/moaned like a whore during sex but tbh it took me completely out of it. I never realised I had these kind of hang ups at all until recently.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s actually given me renewed enthusiasm for seeking the relationship my wife and I could have

Me too; I think it's part of the pathway to greater intimacy as well as better sex.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good reminder. I too need to revisit SGM. Have an upvote

[–]outfo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I agree with everything you wrote... with the caveat that a woman who is super-withdrawn from her husband may never be willing to go into those emotional states... with him. The same way that she won't offer the bjs or her ass or whatever the guy knows she willingly gave to other guys during her "party years" but won't give to him (she 'grew out of it'). Sometimes that yardstick of measuring her willingness to do a particular act is not a bad proxy for her overall feelings for that guy.

As we say around here, MRP saves the man, it may or may not save the marriage.

[–]PersaeusMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The more withdrawn the woman , the heavier the emotions required to break her out of her own attachment to the old paradigm.

[–]tspitsatgp0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Consider my wife to be basically fully withdrawn. Two feet out the door, turning her head back and having second thoughts because of the kids and all the other things she’d lose. Loves me like family, but doesn’t desire me emotionally or see a time in the future when she would (last time I checked a couple of months ago). I am full faggot for sticking around, but I don’t want to lose the kids either. For me it’s only the kids that keeps me here. Everything else I can replace or do better.

Now, what sort of heavy emotions are we talking? The content in this thread is great but it relies on you already having sex. We are sleeping in the same bed but not having sex. With our younger kid sleeping in between us. Yep. Gay as fuck but blue pill me thought talking and taking things slow was best approach post affair discovery. Actually it gets worse. I got her to move from spare room into our room again months ago by saying I would not initiate sex. Taking the pressure off or some such shit. Gay. As. Fuck.

I am trying to escalate things with kino and initiating kissing after going out, etc. I want to work on the emotions but... anyone got tips?

And yes, this relationship is 99% dead but the stay plan is the same as the go plan and I will do my best for my kids.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I want to work on the emotions but... anyone got tips?

Dancing. Singing or playing music together. Engaging games or sport.

Verbal flirting or repartee.

[–]tspitsatgp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good points, I have noticed when I am more playful she and the kids quickly join in. It goes against the grain of my default demeanour but that’s largely due to a self-consciousness that I am working on overcoming.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with everything you wrote... with the caveat that a woman who is super-withdrawn from her husband may never be willing to go into those emotional states... with him.

No doubt some won't. And few will go from 0 to 100 in one go; each man may have to find initial ways or activities engaging emotions that are relatively comfortable for his wife, and expand from those.

[–]coinbaserep5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you For reminding me. I have to go back and reread SGM it did wonders for the last 5 year. But recently things are getting stale. I need it increase her sexual desires again through emotion

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As I improve she continue she to impress.

She is a reflection of me. The 1000ft rope can and has seemed quite long at times. but I rest assured it’s likely finite.

And if not, well... next. But it’s not seeming so.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Every penny invested into the SGM book is worth it.

[–]The_LitzMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

NMMNG deals with being honest about what you want. Sexually speaking it was very difficult for me to leave that comfort zone because one fears being vulnerable before your partner, and likewise, a woman has to let go and totally 'give' herself to you.

Being vulnerable/surrender without fear is the sweet spot.

Laughter, best sex for me is when there is an element of fun and laughter.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being raised like most boys I wasn't really taught how to explore and express my emotions. The advice was more to "stop acting that way" or "suck it up" and suppress/ignore it. It is no wonder that after 25+ years I struggled to dig into this emotional world. I can say that there have been some very positive results in the bedroom when I increased the four pillars (DEVI) but I've seen the biggest improvements with Immersion and Emotion when I applied them.

I think this is another strong case to ensure we teach our young boys that emotions are not something to be suppressed and ignored.

Everything is uncomfortable the first time you do it; “If you want something you've never had, You must be willing to do something you've never done.”

[–]SKRedPill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Emotional expression isn't a problem - if it is done in a real masculine way that increases attraction and tension. Masculine overall is subtle, but more powerful, but when the passion comes around, it can become a wild animal (sports is sadly the only place where the full strength of it comes out).

The problem is that our society tries it's best to convince us that only feminine expressions are the only real and emotional ones, with the result is that guys are stuck between girly and wooden, but have forgotten the entire language of the masculine.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Emotional expression isn't a problem - if it is done in a real masculine way that increases attraction and tension.

I agree.

[–]rover620 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you - great post - Just what I needed to read today

[–]Runningfast1979 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fuck all this.

$200 I can do what I want for an hour with different woman every time.

And I do to have to prove shit to anyone especially my wife.
I do t have to try to be anything I’m not or so things I don’t want to do in hopes of good sex. That’s a suckers job.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you find satisfaction in the superficial variety of the same old impersonal suck and fuck with women of different shapes, sizes and colors, more power to you. Many of us move beyond that, though, and seek a more intimate and engaging experience that calls on more from both our women and ourselves.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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