How does Red Pill respond to massage requests

ruorgimorphu · 2014-12-08T21:01:55+00:00

I would say, only do it if you wanna do it (throw in the "no") and easily/stoically deal with the reaction. You decide when she gets a massage, not her. The reason why is because it's turning into a fucked up power game for her, rather than her actually needing a back rub due to tension and stress. So the "good partner pleasing her" ship has sailed. This massage thing is not that anymore. Maybe even no massages for a while, since she's turning it stupid. She knows where the door is.

She'll probably use emotion as her weapon, but whatever, just out logic her. Nothing that she can say will actually make sense, no one needs that many back rubs, most people get zero, and it's not that you don't love her or stupidity like that.

I am kinda new at this, but it does feel like she's testing you to see if you can deal with her. If she can push you around, you're no good as a protector.

En_sigma · 2014-12-08T21:05:49+00:00

In front of the kids - Me first. You aint done yet. You missed over here. You call that massage?

Alone - sure take your clothes off. EDIT: this is my condition. Good luck warding me off when you are naked, by the way

I say all of that in order to discourage the "on demand" treatment. But when she has a need, like when I see her neck stiff, I rub sometimes without being asked. And I am pretty good at getting out catches and knots, if I do say so myself. She does not have the strength to get them out of my muscles. Not to say she is weak, it's just that she is a woman and mine are bigger and harder to get out.

Flip the script.

Hoops_Hops · 2014-12-08T21:34:19+00:00

I give my wife therapeutic massage only. I am pretty good at getting out knots and she has some pretty serious muscle tension issues. But I refuse to give her long relaxing massuese style massages, because she won't return the favor.

In turn she has stopped asking for massages unless she needs a knot relaxed or her back popped. I told her she can save her spending money ( we both agreed to budget ourselves each week) and go get a spa massage if that is what she wants. And she does sometimes, so problem solved.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-12-09T02:50:38+00:00

Sex on demand = Massage on demand

I have a graduate degree from a medical school so my tantalizing deep tissue massages are to blow for.

But this nonsense..

she in the past has become bitchy if I try to have the massage lead into sex.

is not going to cut it.

Still you should be touching your wife all the time anyway so I see this as an extension of that.

I am reminded of my dogs. They DEMAND you to scratch their head. Put their nose under your hand when it is resting on a chair and so on.

strategos_autokrator · 2014-12-10T11:25:50+00:00

It depends on what I want.

I enjoy giving her massages. If I get horny while doing it, I say it. Sometimes she reciprocates with a BJ, sometimes she doesn't. It's ok, keep frame. I was giving her the massage because I wanted to.

If I want a BJ or a massage myself, and I know this before hand, I say so, and negotiate. Sometimes she gets angry, and I keep frame. SOmetimes we find agreement, or sometimes she doesn't get her massage. It is ok, keep frame.

If I'm not in the mood for a massage, I just say I don't want to now. She used to get angry at this, but now accepts it. She whines a bit now, but then I just keep frame and say "I understand you don't like it, but I don't want to now." and that usually is the end of it. If she doesn't whine, I just suggest we negotiate it later. A "no" isn't forever, it is just that now I don't want to.

If she is feeling bad from her shoulders, I often try to give her a massage. I care about her health and well being, because having a healthy crew is good for the ship. But I don't do it with secret longing that she will reciprocate later. That only creates unattractive secret contracts, and that is super beta. I do it only because I want a healthy crew in my ship so they can do their work well.

[deleted] · 2014-12-08T22:35:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Dev_on · 2014-12-09T14:05:41+00:00

If I'm in the mood, if not, then no. Occasionally when I'm in the mood, I take her after... she sometimes resists, but feels like token resistance, because otherwise I lay off for a while.

I basically treat it as the same importance as when she asks for something out of the fridge. If I'm there already, or she can't get up, sure. But if it's just because she's lazy, then get it yourself.

jerry_rigger · 2014-12-10T03:54:12+00:00

"I'll trade you for a good BJ."

OmegaTygr · 2014-12-11T17:32:22+00:00

This line of inquiry inspired me to create an account and post my question.

Does it make any difference if the wife in question is partially disabled? Wife is a hip-replacement candidate at age 40 and as such deals with varying degrees of chronic pain. (For the health and safety of this post's passengers & crew no discussion of how said disability relates to her weight can be permitted.) I'm an Omega husband who only just discovered TRP and am deeply interested in Bettering Myself. She is quite grateful for the times I rub her hip and she's told me it definitely makes her feel better (i.e. she can walk) well into the following day. But no gratitude beyond the spoken kind is forthcoming. (As far as intimacy, I'm nearly at the Ray Romano point: PIV sex is a reminder to file my quarterlies, and a BJ lets me know it's time to renew my driver's license. "I'm the only guy whistling in his license photo." - RR)

Additionally, more often than not she'll ask after I'm already in bed, half asleep, just waiting for her so I can turn out the light. I've made it clear to her that I'm deeply un-appreciative when she ~~makes me~~ asks me to get up and do / fetch something for her at that point, but after turning down her request I'm left dealing with her seething cauldron of resentment lying next to me.

I'm still trying to figure out all the Married Red Pill approaches - don't really understand 'Frame', 'Dread', etc. All I do know is that I've been the passive Omega for too long and it reduced me to the level of spectator in my own home life. I'm halfway through MMSL and am understanding the 'why' of reclaiming Alpha status as necessary, but the 'how' remains elusive.

newlifeasredpill · 2014-12-08T23:42:53+00:00

Id say my wife asks for massage as foreplay alot. Especially during the week. Never if we were out and drinking.

I do it and just keep escalating until we are fucking

exbp · 2014-12-09T02:34:41+00:00

You'd know best but if it's a power play for her you have to deny her this. Offer it after sex or if you're in the mood but never at her demand.

orange234 · 2014-12-09T20:54:47+00:00

Is she willing to give you a blow job (or at least a hand job) on demand?

If so, seems like a fair deal. She can let you know when she wants a back, shoulder, or foot rub, and you can let her know when you would like a massage... for your dick.

JackGoldsteinWrites · 2014-12-10T00:11:51+00:00

She gets mad when you ask for sex, sounds like the massage is secondary as an issue.

The real thing I'd deal with is - why is she mad at you for wanting to meet your needs. It's as absurd as being mad at you for being hungry if you haven't eaten all day.

As to the prescription, I'll let the married guys handle it.

Title	How does Red Pill respond to massage requests
Author	spexer
Upvotes	5
Comments	23
Date	December 8, 2014 8:44 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2oojj6/how_does_red_pill_respond_to_massage_requests/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/how-does-red-pill-respond-to-massage-requests.202838 https://theredarchive.com/post/202838