One of our lurkers (I assume) got found out by his wife, and she went on /r/thebluepill for "help"

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBluePill/comments/4e6zvg/found_dhs_red_pill_thoughts_how_to_rebuild_trust/

Let us go through some of her comments

I recently discovered a lot of red pill commentary in my husband's conversations with others (I'll own it; I was snooping where I had no business being)

Lesson 1: Your wife will snoop. Practice good opsec. Use incognito mode, separate browsers, careful with mobile device autocomplete dictionaries.

Lesson 2: She owns it. That's solid frame. Use it yourself, spot this in others and tear it down instead of letting them move on.

I don't feel at all guilty about my libido and won't apologize for it.

This is a very intereseting comment.

In the blue pill idea of a relationship, partners would talk about these things and accomodate each other, right?

But the reality a beta man experiences is that "she has low libido", and since she doesn't feel like sex, they're not having sex. It doesn't matter how important it is to him or how much of a difference it makes to his quality of life.

Getting rejected regularly, having too little sex and the sex you do have is starfish, that is very rough on a man, and at the same time she is expecting exclusitivity. It is completely unreasonable and cruel, but with female solipsism it feels completely natural and not something she should even feel guilty about or apologize for.

Lesson 3: Women have no empathy or sympathy for betas.

I thought we were totally fine except for the occasional spat. He felt bullied and like i was phoning it in during sex

She's trampling all over him and giving him starfish sex. I'm sure that any woman who thought about it for even a second would realize that a) men find it annoying to get nagged at and b) hot sex is important to them.

She's a frigid nagger but she thinks their marriage is "totally fine". What's next, fat girls think they're attractive?

A repeat of Lesson 3

According to him, he had been actively implementing some of these strategies (dread game). It didn't work, because 1. I am not a jealous person and 2. My sex drive is a function of my biology, not"preselection"

Now we get to the real problem. Female solipsism sees it all as having to do with her: she's not the jealous type, and she really has low libido. We know the the truth. This guy didn't get his SMV up. She still wasn't attracted to him and his dread game wasn't convincing.

Lesson 4: Get your SMV up.

I don't see how "dread game" could ever be anything other than emotional abuse, nor how AWALT could ever be anything other than misogyny.

How about "dread game includes just improving your SMV"; has lifting seriously become emotional abuse now? How about "dread games is what cure wives of their low libido"?

Lesson 5: She has no idea how her feelings work, and she will label knowledge about it as misogyny.

I can't read his mind, so all I have to inspect are MY thoughts, MY feelings, etc.

I love this one. She can't read his mind. What approach does she take? Does she focus on what is best for their marriage, what would make them both the happiest, look at his actions and their history together, try to trust him, focus on what she can do? No. She just goes with he feelings.

Lesson 6: Feels before realz.

He says that he is willing to do anything - that all of this MRP stuff was just a misguided attempt at building domestic tranquility.

And here we begin to see why this guy's wife still has low libido: he has no frame. He gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and immediatedly backs down and pretends that he's fine with the shitty starvation diet his wife keeps him on.

Dude, own your shit. You want cookies. And while you're at it, ask for some steaks too.

The red pill isn't some random bag of tricks. It's masculinity. It is being honest about who you are and what you want. You don't have to take her nagging bullshit seriously. You don't have jump at her every whim.

If there's ever a time to hold frame, it is when she finds out about MRP. I'm guessing the guy knows it, but he just folded. He hid away his masculinity and he is hoping that appeasing her will work.

So now, he's fucked. Any time he tries to assert himself in the future, she can hold this over his head. If he tries to up his SMV, he's "playing dread games" and being "emotionally abusive". It's just become that much harder to get back in the game.

Lesson 7: Hold frame.

He is definitely expressing remorse, and it seems legit. But, he had an obvious credibility problem right now. Those conciliatory words are not coming from my loving partner. They're coming from the jackass who thought MRP was a solution to all our his "problems"

There's plenty of examples above that show why you shouldn't let her find MRP. But this one really hits it home: even when he does the antithesis of MRP and drops frame and says sorry, she still thinks it is some MRP ploy. Sometimes new guys come on here and talk about how "a leader shares his vision with his people" or some other bullshit to justify them telling her about MRP. I don't know what they imagine, that she'll see the light and help them alpha up? Hell no, she'll twist it and try to turn it against you.

Lesson 8: The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.

And of you're reading this, Mister QBall37: Get your shit together. Ok, you want to try the blue pill way, and she says she want to too. Give her a chance. Tell her she can stop "bullying you" and she can stop "phoning it during sex", and you'll be a nice beta. Give her the chance to be a good wife to you, and you'll be a good husband to her.

Maybe she's a unicorn who can actually do that. If so, good for you.

If not, it is time you man up. You've been at this for a year? It sounds like your wife hardly noticed any red pill behavior before she found you writing your friend about it. Is that true? If so, you have to apply yourself. If you don't, you're going to be stuck in a shitty marriage forever. Is that what you want?

Get back on the program. Up your SMV. I know you want your wife to follow you on your journey, and hopefully she will. Likely she will. But if she won't, there's jack shit you can do about it. And she'll never help you get started. Once you're well on your way, she might decide to become a great first mate who takes an active part in making it a great journey, but in the beginning it is on you, and you alone.