~ archived since 2018 ~

Hysteric Bonding

February 11, 2021

I've been going back into the basics, stuff from years back. Something I haven't seen in the subreddit in a while was the idea of hysteric bonding.

A girl, for whatever reason, decides to make a decision in her self interest and against yours. Usually it's cheating in hopes of potential hubby #2. A few guys noticed, usually when the divorce proceedings were not going according to her plan, or when beau 2.0 didn't actually stick around, that the girl starts talking about 'mistakes were made, want to work it out?' and then some of the best sex of their relationship.

It turns out anxiety and loss aversion are natures aphrodisiac. It's the same idea as to why the main event exists, why dread game can be remarkably effective, and FOMO are standard game concepts. Dr. David Bus talks about the massive amount of sexual motivations women have in 'Why women have Sex' (a great book if you haven't read it) and this is one of them. No one really talks about it though. Women don't like the idea of their sexuality being their own agency on the world, and most guys are too ego invested to see the motivations. It's much easier to let ego tell him 'she realized she fucks up and really knows what she's missing now!'

Anyways, if you're a guy who has been through a relationship ending amount of bullshit from a wife or girlfriend, then suddenly hot sex and super loving behavior comes in a few weeks later, chances are it's hysteric bonding manifesting. It's nothing you did, and it's gotten a lot of guys to accept taking back a horrible deal. If I can find it I'm trying to find this field report from the guy who was divorcing his wife, and had her give him a start to finish blowjob in his lawyers office. I remember his quote pretty specifically "At any point in the last ten years this is all she had to do to keep our marriage working, and she chose now, that the signature is all thats left?"

That and he let her finish, signed the papers, moved on with his life. If anyone has it, please share the link below, it's a damned wonderful field report.

I hope /u/alphabet49 is still around, he was the one who first put me onto this years back.

If you aren't a reader you can just listen

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Post Information
Title Hysteric Bonding
Author RStonePT
Upvotes 87
Comments 16
Date February 11, 2021 10:42 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]mabdenMarried8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

>the divorce proceedings were not going according to her plan, or when beau 2.0 didn't actually stick around, that the girl starts talking about 'mistakes were made, want to work it out?' and then some of the best sex of their relationship.

It's called 'hoovering,' as in trying to vacuum/suck her chump almost-ex-husband back into a relationship. Has nothing to do with attraction.

[–]SKRedPill3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As a guy who's seen some of this behavior, her change of character can lead you to think she actually has a great deal of conscious control over her sexual desire for you, which might give you the hope of a turnaround, but nope, this too is far more subconscious. It's just a bigger and more dramatic version of shit text ending in sex. It'll be gone as soon as things get comfortable again.

Hysterical bonding never be the genuine sexual desire you knew in the beginning.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hysterical bonding never be the genuine sexual desire you knew in the beginning

Careful here...

You mean back when she was interviewing for the job? Yeah, we all tried harder then, but the "reality" was/is the same for her.

Some guys, on the other hand, might still savoring the initial win, that wasn't really what you thought it was in the first place.

What I want you the think about: are initial bonding and hysterical bonding the same self interest, just at different times? As for me, I'll take great sex, at any time, even if I have to take/demand it. ;)

[–]Blarg_RisenMRP APPROVED12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Timely and relevant to more than one OYS that's been written in here lately.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, it's all the same misery when you get down to it

[–]z2a1-95 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good shit

[–]business----travel7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Another gem from Stoney!

[–]red_koan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you're looking for u/alphabeta49

[–]UsefulWalk4Priming the Pump a Little4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got a little of this hysterical bonding last weekend. Hot sex on the hotel patio in full view of the main entrance. Normally too modest to fuck with the kids asleep behind closed doors, then BOOM one comment about 'why are we exclusive' and suddenly we're banging in public. Weird. I was hoping for Hysterical Frequency rather than one time Hysterical Adventurousness.

Lawyer's office story is solid gold.

[–]IntelligenceLtd4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

quality post not been through divorce proceedings and situation is a bot different but some of the best sex I had was when she broke up with me and within the first week I had sex with an extremely attractive woman similar to her (it was actually a crazy week but she only knew about her) the competition woman will give to get you back when they see their loss is insane, unfortuanatly i belived her crying and saying she needed therapy was a sign she was going to change well from experience if you want to go that route you have to keep up the dread game and will that work, quite possibly not but either way I folded to my compassion and let myself down.

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The soloilpcism lean really does make it obvious

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hey Stony. I don't have the story that you're looking for BUT, here's my never previously revealed story.

Once she was served with the papers, suddenly she had "needs". She would show up at my apartment, unannounced, and need sex, need to give BJ's. I left for work at 6AM, she showed up at 5AM. I got home around 7 PM, she would show up at 9PM, the sometimes come back at midnight or later.

On the week ends, she would come by as many as 5-6 times a day. She would suck me, fuck me, drain me and leave. Asked if she could bring a friend sometime (her sister) - sure- fuck yeah. She did that twice, but just couldn't stand not being the center of attention.

This lasted about 2 weeks. Then she asked if I was withdrawing the divorce. Hell no!! And give up all this great sex. Are you crazy? She blew her top, pissed herself, pulled a knife on me. Took it away from her and sent her home.

Funny, she never came back. :)

[–]RStonePTOfficial Counterfeit Goods[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Jesus, that's the second knife story from an ex wife.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was the first step. It escalated to stalking and guns later.

[–]ParcivalRN901 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She wants to feel the low/high dopamine release she had in the beginning of the relationship when she didn’t know where she stood with you. She’s trying to relive the validation and security she felt when she first received attention from you. Problem is there are plenty ways of doing that without sacrificing the whole relationship. Ultimately she did you a favor.

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been going back into the basics, stuff from years back.

Yes please more please. So much chit chat these days it's like a womans magazine gossip column

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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